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How did your family reacted to you telling them you have an International partner?

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    #1

    How did your family reacted to you telling them you have an International partner?

    I'm curious as to how other people have approached the situation and how they dealt with their family's reaction. My family knew about my SO but just thought of him as a friend of mine. It wasn't until after four months of us being official that I decided to tell my parents. It was hard cause I didn't know how would they take it and I really get sick of the " It's not real because you can't be physically together " argument everyone seems to go with.

    Surprisingly my family has been really supportive! They came to terms with the idea that we already set a date to Close the Distance to November 1st of 2013 and know we are really serious about what we have. They are very eager to get to know him but have only spoken and seen him through Skype since he hasn't been able to make it due to work related issues.

    So guys, I'm interested in your stories! How did it go?
    ”Distance means so little when someone means so much.”
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    #2
    I didn't tell them right away. It probably took 2 months or so, whenever we started making plans for his visit to the States. They were supportive, even moreso after they were able to meet and get to know him during his visit. Now they love him and accept him as part of our family.

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      #3
      I met my SO while studying abroad in Scotland. I told my parents over the internet somehow. I'm not sure of initial reactions and all but of course they were curious and happy.
      There were lots of bad fake British accents from my dad and enthusiasm from all of them. They wanted to know him. They wanted to meet him (he was a bit shy to meet my parents through talking on yahoo messenger -they couldn't get the webcam to work- and then in person at first). After about a year 1/2 or so my dad finally quit saying "I say" in a British accent almost every time my SO was mentioned. They still want to say "Hi" to him every time they come to see me and I'm talking to him. My mom asks about him every single day.

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        #4
        Originally posted by eveningsky View Post
        I met my SO while studying abroad in Scotland. I told my parents over the internet somehow. I'm not sure of initial reactions and all but of course they were curious and happy.
        There were lots of bad fake British accents from my dad and enthusiasm from all of them. They wanted to know him. They wanted to meet him (he was a bit shy to meet my parents through talking on yahoo messenger -they couldn't get the webcam to work- and then in person at first). After about a year 1/2 or so my dad finally quit saying "I say" in a British accent almost every time my SO was mentioned. They still want to say "Hi" to him every time they come to see me and I'm talking to him. My mom asks about him every single day.
        Haha! Sounds like my dad who tries to speak Norwegian and starts spouting gibberish -.- Since my dad works at the airport he says he is gonna throw a welcoming party at the gate just when he arrives. I am afraid of that lol. They ask about my SO often too. They are very eager to meet him and get him over here. At times they seem even more eager than me lol
        ”Distance means so little when someone means so much.”

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          #5
          He just started coming up in conversation more and more, and then I went to visit him. I'm 42 though, I don't have to worry about anyone's approval, but it's very nice that they like him a lot, and support my relationship.
          Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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            #6
            My mom is not really happy about it. She is afraid I am going to move to Holland and she will never see me again. I told her I would come back and visit but she is quietly (somewhat) hoping it will not work out. My brothers are both happy as long as I am. My daughter does not really seem to care, she is looking forward to flying to Holland at some point to meet him.
            "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
            Benjamin Franklin

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              #7
              Originally posted by Sukkerklumpen View Post
              Haha! Sounds like my dad who tries to speak Norwegian and starts spouting gibberish -.- Since my dad works at the airport he says he is gonna throw a welcoming party at the gate just when he arrives. I am afraid of that lol. They ask about my SO often too. They are very eager to meet him and get him over here. At times they seem even more eager than me lol
              Too funny! You'll have to warn your SO about the welcoming party so he's prepared.
              Yeah, my parents seem to be more eager than I am at times too! lol.

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                #8
                My mom reacted to my saying my ex (who she knew lived in Ireland) asked me out by saying, "I knew it." LOL. Guess I'm not very discreet. But despite not really wanting me to do the whole long distance thing again (I have done it twice and, hopefully, for the last time), she liked my SO at the time and was happy he made me happy. Over time, she got to know him, but mainly because I've never been particularly good at hiding things from her. She's aware of who I'm talking to, who my online friends are, and so on. She has no issue with it and actually finds it fascinating how much the internet has opened up. She is encouraging of meeting someone here next go round though, and is even more encouraging of the fact I want to be single and free for long while yet until that happens.

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                  #9
                  I didn't really tell my mom it was a relationship rather than a friendship until several months in. I'm not very open about my personal life with my family. It wasn't until I said I was going to go see him (after we tried twice to have him come here... visa issues) that my mom started telling me "You can't be too careful-- what if he's scamming you? What if you get raped or murdered? I don't think you should go. He should come to you!" e_e

                  And I can just see her rolling her eyes to my grandmother and her friends and relatives about how her daughter is dating "some guy in Peru," which is why I would get wary questions about him when I next saw them

                  and recently I found out they considered it a "problem"

                  *sigh*
                  Canadian permanent residence APPROVED!
                  Closed the Distance: 09/26/2019
                  Engaged: 09/26/2020

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Hollandia View Post
                    My mom is not really happy about it. She is afraid I am going to move to Holland and she will never see me again. I told her I would come back and visit but she is quietly (somewhat) hoping it will not work out. My daughter does not really seem to care, she is looking forward to flying to Holland at some point to meet him.
                    same for me..... but then the other way around....
                    my Dutch mom isn't liking my 'relationship' at all because of this..... that's the problem with being an only child
                    my daughter looks forward to meeting my SO....
                    Last edited by Carenza LaRue; November 27, 2012, 01:04 PM.
                    The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

                    Carl Jung (1875 - 1961)

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Carenza LaRue View Post
                      same for me..... but then the other way around....
                      my Dutch mom isn't liking my 'relationship' at all because of this..... that's the problem with being an only child
                      my daughter looks forward to meeting my SO....
                      Seriously, we are like reverse twins. LOL.
                      "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                      Benjamin Franklin

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                        #12
                        My younger sister was the first person I told about my SO, apart from my friends in Cork who knew already as they were around when we started dating! I waited a while longer to tell my mum, until the day after we became LD as we said "I love you" and I knew it was very serious. That was about 7 weeks into our relationship.

                        My mum was very hesitant to accept it at first. She never outright disapproved, but she didn't comment on it and didn't say anything about how she felt about it. I think she thought I'd had a whirlwind romance in Ireland and would have my heart broken, but she was always supportive of what I wanted nonetheless. The first time she expressed how she felt was when my SO booked his (ridiculously expensive!!) flight to come see me, and then she realised that this wasn't some one-sided thing! And then she met him when he came over to Canada and she absolutely adored him.

                        My sisters were supportive from the outset, and both thought it was quite fun that I had an Irish boy! My extended family was a bit over-supportive, they're just all hoping we get married in Cork so they can all have an excuse to go to Ireland


                        Love will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free
                        █♥█
                        Met: Cork, Ireland - December 31, 2009 • Started Dating: Cork, Ireland - May 22, 2010 • Became LD: July 15, 2010 • My Move From Canada to UK: October 26, 2011
                        Closed the distance June 18, 2012!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Originally posted by kittyo9 View Post
                          I'm not very open about my personal life with my family. It wasn't until I said I was going to go see him that my mom started telling me "You can't be too careful-- what if he's scamming you? What if you get raped or murdered? I don't think you should go. He should come to you!" e_e

                          And I can just see her rolling her eyes to my grandmother and her friends and relatives about how her daughter is dating "some guy in Peru," which is why I would get wary questions about him when I next saw them

                          and recently I found out they considered it a "problem"

                          *sigh*
                          I had about the same issue with my family.
                          My mom found out about my boyfriend when she noticed how I was speaking english all the time and then when they confronted me with it I told them all about him, but they got all scared and meant that he was going to rape me, that he is not who I think he is, that I don't know him and so on and so on..

                          Finally I think they came to terms with it, when they tried to throw me out and told me I should go and live with my boyfriend and I told them that he'd love to take me now but I need to finish college and I think they finally understood that he is a real person and wants the best for me.

                          Relationship began: 05/22/2012
                          First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
                          Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
                          Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
                          Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
                          Married: 1/24/2015
                          Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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                            #14
                            My boyfriend is from Austria and we met while he was studying abroad in the US, so it was easy. We actually went to watch a charity tennis match between Pete Sampras and Sam Querrey with my mom and sisters when we were still in the dating phase, and everyone loved him, so it made it easy to tell my parents when we were official. They have been really supportive since then, and they also care about him a lot!

                            They were a little sad about me moving to Europe (though I'm in Berlin - we haven't closed the distance yet because our jobs require us to be in our respective cities for another few months, and then he might!! move to Berlin with me!) but they are happy to see I am very successful in a job I love, in the field I studied at university.

                            I think it really helps to have that physical contact at first... at least for my overprotective parents

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                              #15
                              I haven't told my mum, but I want to surprise her when we become "facebook official"". I don't think anyone on my mums side would have any problem with it. They are very laid back and would likely be very supportive, as would my siblings. I don't think I will tell my dad or stepmum and her family until I have to though; like, if we decide that I should go to her when the time comes to meet for the first time.

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