Kitty, I'm sorry about your mom... I knew you were having problems doing the whole visit thing, but this makes things way more complicated
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How did your family reacted to you telling them you have an International partner?
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My parents just met him a few weeks ago when we went to their house for a long weekend. They absolutely loved him. My dad asks about him all the time now when I call and my mom added him on facebook. My grandparents too loved him. I think my situation might be a little different because we met in person and not online. Seeing as he just left to go back to australia yesterday I suppose I will see when I go home for Christmas what they have to say about him without him being there, but I anticipate nothing but good things. When I mentioned I may relocate to Australia when I graduate next year they were completely fine with it. No real comments one way or another. Their only concern is that I do whats smart for me money and career wise which is normal for parents.
I suppose we are technically inter-racial as his dad is from India so he looks Indian however has grown up in Australia his whole life, and that issue was never once brought up. My family is fantastically open minded.
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My parents don't accept it what-so-ever. My mom is in my face about it a lot, and says things like "he's probably cheating on you, I hope you don't expect him to be faithful" or that he's going to sell my into the sex-slave industry. She says I'm manipulating him just so I can get out of here and what not. My dad agrees, he's just silent about it, except for trying to hook me up with his friends kids. They kind of take it as a joke, even though Liam has tried to contact them and is paying for my passport and ticket and all that..
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Originally posted by Karura View PostI knew my SO for two years before our relationship became something more, so it wasn't so difficult to tell my mom about him since she already knew him as a friend of mine (I tell my mom everything). However, after telling her about it I later found out that she wasn't taking it as well as I'd hope and she was seriously worried I'd move to Chile and never see me again (and being an only child doesn't help). Because I live in a dorm and we're like family, soon they discovered too and didn't take it seriously going "You're sure about this?" "How do you know if he's real?" "You know this isn't going to work, right?". But recently they've come to understand how serious we are about our relationship and I've decided to visit him this coming Easter, but it hurt at first knowing nobody considered it a real relationship. My dad's on a whole other level though. He went nuts when I once told him I was talking to a friend online (it wasn't my SO by the way) and he reacted so badly and in an outrageous way that it made me mad. He threatened to disown me if I ever did a "mistake like that", going on about stories about predators and stuff which I am completely aware of. I can't even imagine what it would be like to tell my dad about my SO; I will only tell him when I must. And even then I'm not sure if I'm going to be completely honest about it... He's really the thing that most worries me in this relationship.Originally posted by schwee44 View PostMy parents don't accept it what-so-ever. My mom is in my face about it a lot, and says things like "he's probably cheating on you, I hope you don't expect him to be faithful" or that he's going to sell my into the sex-slave industry. She says I'm manipulating him just so I can get out of here and what not. My dad agrees, he's just silent about it, except for trying to hook me up with his friends kids. They kind of take it as a joke, even though Liam has tried to contact them and is paying for my passport and ticket and all that..
I hope that both your parents get to see things from your point of view and be a little more flexible towards the situation and give it a chance to get to actually KNOW the persons that make you guys so happy.”Distance means so little when someone means so much.”
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My mom knows about it.. I didnt tell her tho. My ex found out and told my mom nd my stephdad. They were not happy with it at all. Until now my mom still asks me annoying questions all the time which is why i tend to avoid her at all costs. She thinks he will kill/rape/use me. She wanted to see his picture. She asks me for his fullname so she can google him. She doesn't believe he is faithfull and thinks he alrdy has a gf. Now if that is alrdy bad then let alone telling my family..
My family dont rly accept ppl that quickly and since he lives so far away they wont see him enough to get to know him. I dont think my family will react positive to it either. Im actually jealous on all the people who got positive reactions and support. Also I totally agree with the above poster that there are bad people everywhere in this world. Online or offline, far away or close by.
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I told my mom about my husband the day we first made our relationship official. She wasn't very happy about it at first but not because of the distance. It was because of our age difference! There's 10 years between us, and she wasn't a big fan of that. Of course, I didn't find that out until later from my sister. As far as I know, everyone else has been very supportive of our relationship. Whenever someone says something negative about our relationship, I just ignore. They don't know how we feel about each other, and it's not their life. You have to do what makes you happy. My mom tells me that despite not being happy about the fact that I'm moving almost 5,000 miles to England."I'll hold you in my heart till I can hold you in my arms again."
"It's supposed to be hard! If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard...is what makes it great! -A League of Their Own
Met: August 22, 2010
Made it official: September 17, 2010
Got engaged: January 15, 2012
Our First Visit: November 18, 2010-November 28, 2010
Our Seventh (and Last) Visit: November 10, 2012-November 24, 2012
Got married: November 21, 2012
Big Wedding Date: May 25, 2013
Closed the Distance: June 2, 2013
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I met my boyfriend while working on a campsite, and about 2 weeks after we met, my dad and brother came to visit. My dad liked him from the first moment they met, and so did my brother. My mom saw him a few months later when he was visiting in Holland, and absolutely adores him, probably because of the positive effect he has on me think the fact that we met in real life really helped, they wouldn't be too happy if I had met him online...
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Originally posted by schwee44 View Post"he's probably cheating on you, I hope you don't expect him to be faithful"We part only to meet again ~ J.Gay
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I dropped the "bomb" on my father by inviting him to lunch.
He had no idea that my SO was with me. It might have come
as a shock for a few reasons:
1. He had no idea I was involved with anyone.
2. He doesn't think anyone would be involved with me. LOL
3. My SO is American and he was sitting beside me nervously - in the Philippines.
hahahhaha
It was so awkward I loved every minute of it.
The whole day my family was sending me messages about how stunned my father was.
When he called me that night he said, " My youngest child is in love. Am I to expect an
American grandchild soon?"
LOL -
Now that my SO is returning here in about 3 weeks, my father knows about this and is preparing
to welcome him by saying, " You should take him to the beach, it will be easier for me to
tie an anchor to his ankles and dump him into the sea."
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
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Originally posted by Nurse View PostNow that my SO is returning here in about 3 weeks, my father knows about this and is preparing
to welcome him by saying, " You should take him to the beach, it will be easier for me to
tie an anchor to his ankles and dump him into the sea."
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
It seems more threatening than amusing to me. If I was him, I'd be concerned.
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Originally posted by Sukkerklumpen View PostI actually find Nurse's story funny. I think because my dad jokes around like that too. It is more like an empty threat just for the sake of threatening the man that is pursuing his daughter.
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Originally posted by radioandy View PostI expect it's just a cultural thing. My partner's dad says that as long as I keep treating her well and making her happy, he has no problem with us doing whatever we like. There's none of this possessive "what are you doing with my daughter?" stuff. Daughters stopped being possessions here in the Dark Ages.
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Originally posted by radioandy View PostMaybe something is lost in translation, but how is that funny?
It seems more threatening than amusing to me. If I was him, I'd be concerned.
I loved it
Also my GF's family does not mind that we are dating. Her family is already somewhat international, so adding an Aussie to the mix won't be crazy for them.
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Well, I told my parents as soon as I got back from Thailand that I'd met my girlfriend, my father picked me up from the airport and I told him as I drove home, I told my mother when i got home too, they were both a bit, unsure to start, everyone knows the stories from Thailand, heck even I know, but this is different, and she is, it's never about money with her, she spends money on me and I spend money on her, she calls me I call her, we both spend money, she hasn't asked for any money either etc. So it's fine.
A couple of days later my mother randomly hugged me when I got out of bed and said "you have to do what makes you happy" which was nice to hear, apparently her and my father had been talking about it, they understand and they support me now, which is very helpful, we all know it'll be hard but nothing in life that's worth it is ever easy.
My grandmother also talked to me about it, she said when she found out she cried, but she cried because I hadn't been able to find love in this country (despite trying), but she understand, she herself has had a long distance relationship and she has had her heart broken like me, my parents met and have been together since they were teens, so my grandmother has a better understand of what I've been through and what I'm going through, we had a great big talk about it so she is on my side too
All is good, me and the girlfriend have set about plans, I'll go to Thailand in May, then she will come home with me for 6months , my parents and grandmother know this and are happy about it so lets walk the path!
Some very interesting reactions here fair play.
"Buddha made you for me" - My SO
1st Met/Visit: Nov 2012 - Thailand
2nd Visit: May 2013 - Thailand
3rd Visit: Jun 2013 - Thailand
4th Visit: Sep 2013 - Thailand
5th Visit: Sep 2013 - Jan 2014 - UK
6th Visit: Apr 2014 - Thailand - Marry
7th Visit: Sept 14th 2014 - Thailand - Wedding Ceremony / Party
Close the distance - Sept 21st 2014 - UK
UK Wedding Party: November 8th 2014
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