Skype? Too much?

[PBubble]

I think it's a lot but that it's ok. I mean I agree that it's good to have other things going rather than just him, I spend almost all of my day on Skype as well. At work I just have it up on my iphone (thank goodness for unlimited data!) and when he gets home from work he just logs on and does his own thing while I work. It's just nice to feel close even if we aren't talking

[Benni]

I'm going to take a different look at this, while I am glad you get to spend that much time with him and you are happy. I think it is important you have time away from him. Go out with friends! Have your own time to read a book, shit in private for gods sake! Look forward to talking to each other, that is exciting because after years that excitement will fade. It is important to have a balance between relationship and your own life. It might be fun any exciting now but you both need to have hobbies that you can engage in apart from one another. I can see you posting in a few months that you have run out of things to do and talk about with the other.

So true! My SO and I Skype once a day for about an hour, sometimes twice a day, plus he calls me at night for about 20 minutes. I, sometimes, feel frustrated because I'm not finished doing my housework or my online work or I may be in the middle of dinner. I have learned to adjust my schedule due to the difference in our time zones so I don't get frustrated.

If we were in contact more often than what we are, I would feel like I was getting the life sucked out of me and would be exhausted! We are 6 months into our LDR and we already have times we don't have much to say to each other due to the fact we are in contact so often. Every once in awhile, we take a day off and just be ourselves.

[marbear31]

My SO and I did this quite a lot at the beginning, and it was sweet. We still have our five hour conversation days (and more!), but in retrospect, living like that made me shut out everyone else in my life that was important. Sure, I hung out with friends, yeah, I spent time with family--but I never allowed myself to be fully present in my physical life, and that caused me to mess up in school, resort to TV to stop missing him, and spend way too much time putting my personal life on hold. I would do it the exact same way again if I had the choice, because our relationship wouldn't be the same today if we hadn't taken the journey we did, but I definitely learned my lesson of being aware of my surroundings as well. By being fully present in my life here, I bring more to our time together (we still talk 4-6 times a day on average...we pretty much live in each other's pockets :P) because I'm more fulfilled as a person when I embrace my individuality as well as our togetherness.

My advice to you is to work on being aware. That doesn't mean you have to stop thinking about him constantly (haha, that's nearly impossible for me at least!), but don't disengage yourself from those around you and live solely within a computer screen. Trust me, you will fill the lack of personal fulfillment eventually.

As time goes on, I definitely believe that a successful LDR is two-part maintenance--your SO and yourself, equally.

Good luck!

[Zephii]

I didn't read all the posts.

But, I think it's unhealthy.

We used to skype a lot. More than is probably healthy too. Sleeping, showering, cooking, cleaning, studying and even working sometimes because for a period there I worked from home. There were a few times our Skypes stayed connected, uninterrupted, for over 24 hours. When one or both of us was on holidays/out of work, it could get pretty full on. My life revolved around his - I'd move my meal times so they wouldn't cut into skype time - I was getting up stupidly early and he stayed up awfully late, the works. And I don't regret any of it. Good times! We do laugh about how pathetic we were sometimes though.

And I do agree it simulated living with him, in a way. Not what it's like to deal with their annoying habits and body odor... but the intensity of not having personal space is there. At that time I really felt like he was living with me (And I had lived with a partner before - it was comparable). And we'd role play it like that, in the way we spoke to each other and acted. Like, I'd "come home to him" after school, we'd offer each other a drink if one of us was getting something from the kitchen. We lived our lives somewhat parallel to each other - and pretended we were together rather than focusing on the lack of physicalness. It really worked, and we didn't feel the distance the way many people here say they do/did.

But it's a great way to lose who you are. It's a great way to make your relationship get stale because you'll soon have very little to discuss... and as we found out...

When you are finally living together you wont have a damn clue how to have fun together in person, without being connected to your skype. It is unbalanced, and you will start missing out on things.

It can be a bit like an addiction, so like anything you need to be smart with it.

You need to be able to say "I should go spend time with my family" and then go do it. Or "I'm going camping for a week, I wont have internet" with neither of you panicking. If you feel you can't handle not being connected for a reasonable period of time (say, 24 hours) there is something terribly wrong.
Like Snow_girl said - when you live with someone, you don't see them half that much, and you can't always be on the phone. You need to be individuals as well as a couple.

I see my husband less now we're together than when we were kids on the internet, that's just how it is as an adult. And now we have the baby it's even worse. Often we need to divide to conquer because nothing would get done if we had to be together to do it.

But yeah. Like, if you're happy, if it works for you both right now... then live it up. But keep tabs on yourself too. Make sure you're doing it because you want to, not because you couldn't live without it. Just my thoughts anyway..

[GFI_1155]

My SO and I used to skype a lot when he lived alone, when he rides the car when he goes to work(even at work), when sleep ...etc. nowadays it became very little because of some work and life issues. So I think it depends on the couple themselves and depends on the others person lifestyle or how much they have time.

[Evelyne]

Me and my SO usually skype everyday for at least 1hr. We have times where we get to spend 3hrs or more skyping. We also had our times where we thought we were skyping too much because we ran out of conversation topics or it always get back to the same questions. We've been skyping for almost 3 years now, we had our up and downs. As sometimes skyping can get repetitive we tried to find other things to do like gaming or watching a movie together with skype open so we can see each other's reactions.

[Karura]

I think every couple is different and has its own ideals. What works for others doesn't mean it works for you, vice versa.

You two seem to have it going nicely so I don't see a reason for you to skype less unless there is a reason to or any of you feel uncomfortable with it. However, it's still important to spend time with family and friends so I hope you have that all balanced. =)

To me, I don't think I would be able to spend that much time with my SO. While I think it's cute I'm someone who needs her private space at times. I'm also not easily attached in romantic relationships and the time we don't spend together offers more things to talk about whenever we meet in Skype. I'm just not someone too dependent on the romantic relationship, I have my own life as well. It doesn't mean I like my SO any less though. I love him and I'm always looking forward to see him on Skype.

So, you see, different opinions, but that's me and you're you. So do your things as you feel comfortable with.