We have different Religion and Race how do we get through this?

[Angelie]

I am a Catholic and my SO is a Muslim, from the past he I could tell that he is trying to ask me to convert but I am very faithful with my religion, I never asked him to change his so we both agreed that we will not change, We'll just be open with each others religious differences and respect each other. I know it is still hard on my part since my parents are strict and they still don't know that I am having a relationship with a person from another race and religion. (V__V) I feel sad about it sometimes, but I told him from the past that I would tell my parents about him when he would be able to visit me here in my country.

Last year my mom suddenly asked if I have a BF and because I can't deny it, I told the truth. She asked about his religion and where he is from. I answered the religion first and she had lots of issues about it I know that people judge easily because of that and I felt bad about it. I was lying on my bed while my mom is asking me questions, I tried to hide my face with a pillow and hide my tears. I really felt bad about it. My mom even asked about his location. I remember everything she told me. That people are different when you meet them and I should just have someone whom I can see personally each day. But now me and my SO are still together because I still love him and I told him about the reaction of my mom and he told me that he would prove himself. My mom told me that even my dad was different when they finally married, I mean mom and dad are classmates since grade school and still discovered lots of things along the way. She told me that he is different from the person he met all throughout the years of her life. I know that I still have to meet him personally and I am willing to wait for that time.

I love my boyfriend and I wanna know more stories about religion and race difference that worked and last. Please help me guys.

[lademoiselle]

You have no idea how much I can relate to this right now.

All I can say is that my SO and I have been going strong for almost two and a half years despite our differences. Regardless of what certain people may think of the fact we're together, he saves me in a way that I don't believe anyone else in this world can and I have no intention of letting him go. (Apologies for the brevity of this post, I'm a bit upset at the moment. Hope you'll hear some more in-depth stories from others!)

[Angelie]

I really appreciate this I just need to feel that I am not alone in this kind of situation and yes it does help that my SO is brave enough to face the reality that not all people agree with our relationship.

[MattDavies86]

Don't let that get in your way, just respect each others beliefs that's all simple, make sure you tell him you don't want to convert, this is who you are and he should accept that and same goes for you, my SO is Buddhist, i USED to be christian but lost faith many many years ago, much to my mother and grandmothers disappointment, but that's how it is, they're not thrilled she Buddhist but they won't hold it against them too, they have even gone as far as to quote me before that "I'm going to hell". Anyway, if you love each other, don't let it get in the way.

[Fltricia]

All religions have beauty in them. I would suggest you understand that you are both loving people who want what is best for humanity and have chosen a spiritual and religious path to best get you there. The main concern is how devout you are in your faith when it comes to matters of having children. One of you will have to be open to your children being baptised of another faith. Or you can join a Unitarian Universalist congregation that accepts all faiths.

[Fltricia]

I'm in a bi racial relationship as well. I'm a little older (early 30's) but color is not going to stop me from being in love. I hope you feel that way too!

[TwoThree]

My SO and I are from different races and originally come from different religious backgrounds (Muslim for me, Lutheran for him, but we're both irreligious) and it's never been a problem for us. If you are compatible as people, not much can come between you. You just make it work.

For the religion thing, tell your SO to cut the bullshit: It is perfectly "halal" (valid) for a Muslim man to marry a catholic (or any kind of Christian, or Jewish) woman. She doesn't need to convert. (it's another story if it's the woman who is Muslim). Look up the specific Quran verses that say that (I could look them up for you tomorrow, I don't have time for it now). He can't make you convert, especially if you are pretty firm in your own beliefs. If he can't respect that, than you should look for another boyfriend.

[marbear31]

I'm in sort of the same boat as you, except I'm Catholic and my SO is athiest. It's never been an issue for me, but there are definitely times when I feel he doesn't respect my beliefs because he so staunchly tries to prove a point. A couple of weeks ago, I was really struggling with this, because we had a conversation about our kids and how we'd raise them, and he went off in a direction I'd never seen before. He was adamant-- I mean, really adamant--and his assertions floored me. Honestly, I'm still discovering day by day how we're both going to compromise, yet not compromise our individualities, but I'd say humour and respect are the two most important factors at making differing beliefs work. No matter how heated our discussion gets, at the end of the day, we always apologize and grow together, and that, I believe, is the key to our fusion as individuals.

Any time the thought, "Well, wouldn't it be easier to navigate this with someone of a similar belief system?" crosses my mind, I take a step back from myself and think, "Hell NO! What makes you think just because you're of the same religion means you'll be syncopated as individuals?" Basically, as I've thought since the beginning, I've realized that I'm not going to find someone who is so attuned to every facet of me as he is, and vice versa. I don't want anyone else. We're so compatible it's not even funny. Plus, every relationship has two different people involved in it. There's going to be baggage and differing beliefs brought in from both sides, so no matter who you're with, you're not going to get an ideal; you're going to get a human, a fallible, but marvelous human, and I wouldn't have my Irish "human" any other way.

In essence, no matter who you're with, you're going to have differences. Humour, respect, and unconditional love will keep you together, and it's up to you, as individuals and as a team, to make it work.

Good luck!

[camlus]

Religion is definitely a "touchy" subject, but if you both respect each other and love each other, then you should be able to get through this!

[Angelie]

Thanks to all of you it really helps me in getting through this stage. I am discussing these things to him.

[Em22]

I understand.. I was raised in a strict Christian home, and my mother is a Reverend. My SO family doesn't believe in what we do, but isn't exactly against it. They just don't practice anything. My SO has not been exposed to Christianity so he has not really developed an opinion about it. Which is good, because it will be easier to talk about it with him. I hate the differences, but I accept him. I just pray one day in the future he can be on the same level as me so we can grow together in our religion..

[Malaga]

I'm in an interracial relationship too. Also, I come from a Catholic family while his are agnostic. I was raised as Catholic but I'm not religious, I'd call myself an agnostic. He wasn't baptised but he's not a fierce atheist either, more of an agnostic as well.

However, I still hold on to some Catholic traditions, like going to the midnight mass, food blessings for Easter etc. And while to him it means nothing in terms of belief or tradition, he wanted to go with me and I was really happy about that. This is the level of tolerance that I think is very important. Not just accepting that yes I'm performing these rituals that don't really make sense, but actually showing a dose of healthy interest in them.

But this has to be totally his decision. It's not right of your boyfriend to try to get you to convert, or the other way round. You both have to accept and respect each other's beliefs and show an open mind. This often means getting into conflict with your respective families and communities, especially if they're quite traditional. And this is why inter-religious relationships are the most challenging kind of relationships, in my opinion. But it can work and if you can make it work, then it can really enrich your life with new experience and insight.

[digitalfever]

Different religions can be an issue for some but from my experience it only becomes an issue when the couple makes it an issue. I'd simply educate yourself on each others religious differences, be knowledgable and open about what you agree/disagree on and then move on. Racial differences isn't really an issue unless you make it one aswell.

[summerkid]

i try to be respectful of my SO's religion/culture and to learn about it and how much of a role it plays in their life. Also, i expect respect for mine in return and some sort of awareness. Sense of humor also helps .. and not getting too serious or too strict about things

[SeeRat]

k.

It is perfectly "halal" (valid) for a Muslim man to marry a catholic (or any kind of Christian, or Jewish) woman. She doesn't need to convert. (it's another story if it's the woman who is Muslim).

As said by TwoThree a Muslim man can marry a catholic woman without having her to convert her religion with condition that the kids should have religion of their father.
I see your SO is PAkistani. I am also from Pakistan