So, I do apologize for never posting on here. However, I never really had much to say. If any of you can read this and provide some sort of advice, it would be extremely appreciated.
To start off, my boyfriend and I met online in the Summer of 2009. I am from the US and he is from the UK. We talked almost everyday and in October 2009, he told me he had feelings for me. It was tough at first, since we are 3000+ miles apart. He came over twice in 2010 (in April we made things official), I went over once in 2011, and he came over once in 2012. It has been hard since we both were students. Now that it is 2013, he is in his last semester, and I just finished mine a few weeks ago.
Slightly off topic side story... my best friend and her boyfriend of 4-almost-5 years broke up 2 weeks ago. And she and I talked day before yesterday, and she was telling me how she plans to move on with her life. I ended up talking to my boyfriend last night, and I told him that it was scary. I mean, their whole future dreams are completely done. They're moving on separately and a lot of us thought they were the perfect couple and were going to be together.
I decided to ask my boyfriend what he saw in our future. And he told me that he didn't know. I was confused and I just asked him if he saw us together... maybe even married. And he told me that he did but now he didn't know. So then, I started to freak out a bit. He then started telling me that he is starting to feel like he did last January. Last January, we broke up for a bit because he was looking at how we could close the gap and he the reality that one of us will lose our home became very real. We ended up getting back together. He ended up talking his dad and explained how he felt. My boyfriend realized that he still does have some hope... and his dad expressed his support that if my boyfriend really did love me, we would somehow find a way.
Well, that whole thing is happening again. He was telling me that it is not fair, and that it is selfish of him, to keep this relationship going because we hardly see each other in person. He was saying that he did not know when we could get together and that he was losing hope for us. He explained to me that he has 2 sets of feelings for me and he is confused himself. He has the feelings for me that he has when we are apart... which is just hopeless right now... and then he remembers that feelings he had for me when we are together... which is happiness and hope. When we are apart, he loves me, but he is not in love... but when we are together... he is head over heals in love.
Now, I am confused for the both of us. We agreed on a long term break or a short term break up... depends how you see it. I really do not want to break up. I still have such high hopes for us. I told him that I was willing to go there. He does not feel like he could let me do that because I am so close to my family. He said he needs time and space. I told him that I understood, but I cannot wait forever.
I am so lost and hurt right now. I mean, we have been LD for almost 4 years... but it has been that long because we are students. Now that I am out of college and hope to get a job soon, I plan on visiting him more (on vacations).
Have anyone been in that situation? What about the whole 2 sets of feelings thing? Is it stupid and naive of me to really still wanting this to work?
To start off, my boyfriend and I met online in the Summer of 2009. I am from the US and he is from the UK. We talked almost everyday and in October 2009, he told me he had feelings for me. It was tough at first, since we are 3000+ miles apart. He came over twice in 2010 (in April we made things official), I went over once in 2011, and he came over once in 2012. It has been hard since we both were students. Now that it is 2013, he is in his last semester, and I just finished mine a few weeks ago.
Slightly off topic side story... my best friend and her boyfriend of 4-almost-5 years broke up 2 weeks ago. And she and I talked day before yesterday, and she was telling me how she plans to move on with her life. I ended up talking to my boyfriend last night, and I told him that it was scary. I mean, their whole future dreams are completely done. They're moving on separately and a lot of us thought they were the perfect couple and were going to be together.
I decided to ask my boyfriend what he saw in our future. And he told me that he didn't know. I was confused and I just asked him if he saw us together... maybe even married. And he told me that he did but now he didn't know. So then, I started to freak out a bit. He then started telling me that he is starting to feel like he did last January. Last January, we broke up for a bit because he was looking at how we could close the gap and he the reality that one of us will lose our home became very real. We ended up getting back together. He ended up talking his dad and explained how he felt. My boyfriend realized that he still does have some hope... and his dad expressed his support that if my boyfriend really did love me, we would somehow find a way.
Well, that whole thing is happening again. He was telling me that it is not fair, and that it is selfish of him, to keep this relationship going because we hardly see each other in person. He was saying that he did not know when we could get together and that he was losing hope for us. He explained to me that he has 2 sets of feelings for me and he is confused himself. He has the feelings for me that he has when we are apart... which is just hopeless right now... and then he remembers that feelings he had for me when we are together... which is happiness and hope. When we are apart, he loves me, but he is not in love... but when we are together... he is head over heals in love.
Now, I am confused for the both of us. We agreed on a long term break or a short term break up... depends how you see it. I really do not want to break up. I still have such high hopes for us. I told him that I was willing to go there. He does not feel like he could let me do that because I am so close to my family. He said he needs time and space. I told him that I understood, but I cannot wait forever.
I am so lost and hurt right now. I mean, we have been LD for almost 4 years... but it has been that long because we are students. Now that I am out of college and hope to get a job soon, I plan on visiting him more (on vacations).
Have anyone been in that situation? What about the whole 2 sets of feelings thing? Is it stupid and naive of me to really still wanting this to work?
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