Separation anxiety
Hello everyone,
My boyfriend was here to visit me for 33 days in Serbia all the way from Minnesota and we were in our own personal haven having the whole apartment for ourselves. It truly felt like a honeymoon and pretty much like a miracle after very hard 6 months we had to spend apart because I had to go back to Serbia after I have finished my one year of student exchange during which we met and were together every day for 9 months. That time I had to leave for Serbia was terribly hard for us and we both felt like we are going to have a heart attack when we had to let go of each other on the airport. It was one of the worst emotional pains that I felt in my life and so did he.
You cannot imagine the happiness that I felt when he was on Skype and told me he is on hotwire buying his plane ticket to see me because he finally saved up enough money for it. I immediately started the count down from the beginning of November till the day that he came here - the 29th of December. I was so happy every day and I couldn't wait to just wake up to another day and run to my calendar and cross it out and than text him of how excited I was that we only got so and so days left.
That day that he came here I was all ready and excited and I was an hour early on the airport and anxiously looking at the clock above the door that he was suppose to eventually come out of and it felt like every minute was as long as half an hour. When people started coming out I felt my heart pacing and as soon as I saw his face in the crowd I ran to him and I started crying hard and we both hugged for a good 5 minutes and than sat down talking and looking at each other saying how different we look off of camera and how our voices are much nicer in real life.
From that day every day was so special and we went on a lot of beautiful dates some days and the other days we would just stay in, be lazy and watch tv shows and youtube videos snuggled up on the bed. Every morning we would wake up to each other and make coffee together and than watch tv and go on with our day laughing and smiling and than at night we would snuggle up and watch a movie and argue who stole covers last night. Overall it was our little honey moon, out haven on earth! But before we knew it 33 days passed and we knew that Saturday night was our last night together and that on Sunday- 3rd of January, early at 7:55am he had his flight back home.
We spent that night talking to each other and we decided not to sleep just like we did the last time and we were telling each other how we feel and how much we love each other and won't let go ever and how many wonderful new memories we have made together and that we can look back at and we talked on how to manage time on camera better till the next time we see each other. We both cried a lot that night and when it was time to let go of each other again there it was that horrible pain all over again. We thought this time it would be easier but it wasn't and even tho after some time we have talked in between his flights and felt better, it was so hard seeing that apartment without him being there. I just felt like if I called out his name he would come out of some room and hug me :'(. I cannot even drink coffee this morning because we drank that coffee every morning together. And I cannot even look out from the window because there are all the places we have been and everything that means so much to me wasn't there anymore. My heart hurts really bad and I just miss him terribly!
The thing that is not helping is the big time difference and we have of 7 hours and we have to be alone for more than half of the day because when it is my 7pm, it is his noon, so I am up while he is sleeping and than he is up while I go to bed. Being alone and not being able to talk to each other when we are hurting like this is horrible. I just want him back, I just want to see him even for a second and give him one last hug. I feel so empty, so lost and so lonely without him. I cannot do anything without tears running down my face. And I have no idea when is the next time that I will be able to be with him. I have a very bed money situation and I cannot afford over a 1000 dollar ticket because I cannot have a job and have to study for my university and keep my grades up in order not to lose my scholarship. So it is all on him and I cannot do anything about it. We will probably see each other next summer as we have talked about it but that is a year and a half away and I miss him so much! It is so hard to even breathe without him. I love him so much and I want him to be my forever, my happily ever after and yet life has made it so hard for us. I am hoping that after I get these 4 years of my university done that we can finally close the distance but we have 3 and a half years left until that happens. The distance is killing me
and with all of this pain after he left I don't know how I am going to manage this and when the pain is going to stop. All I know is that I love him and I will never let go of him no matter the distance and how hard it is.
I'd really appreciate any advice and will gladly listen to your experience and opinion. Thank you in advance!
My boyfriend was here to visit me for 33 days in Serbia all the way from Minnesota and we were in our own personal haven having the whole apartment for ourselves. It truly felt like a honeymoon and pretty much like a miracle after very hard 6 months we had to spend apart because I had to go back to Serbia after I have finished my one year of student exchange during which we met and were together every day for 9 months. That time I had to leave for Serbia was terribly hard for us and we both felt like we are going to have a heart attack when we had to let go of each other on the airport. It was one of the worst emotional pains that I felt in my life and so did he.
You cannot imagine the happiness that I felt when he was on Skype and told me he is on hotwire buying his plane ticket to see me because he finally saved up enough money for it. I immediately started the count down from the beginning of November till the day that he came here - the 29th of December. I was so happy every day and I couldn't wait to just wake up to another day and run to my calendar and cross it out and than text him of how excited I was that we only got so and so days left.
That day that he came here I was all ready and excited and I was an hour early on the airport and anxiously looking at the clock above the door that he was suppose to eventually come out of and it felt like every minute was as long as half an hour. When people started coming out I felt my heart pacing and as soon as I saw his face in the crowd I ran to him and I started crying hard and we both hugged for a good 5 minutes and than sat down talking and looking at each other saying how different we look off of camera and how our voices are much nicer in real life.
From that day every day was so special and we went on a lot of beautiful dates some days and the other days we would just stay in, be lazy and watch tv shows and youtube videos snuggled up on the bed. Every morning we would wake up to each other and make coffee together and than watch tv and go on with our day laughing and smiling and than at night we would snuggle up and watch a movie and argue who stole covers last night. Overall it was our little honey moon, out haven on earth! But before we knew it 33 days passed and we knew that Saturday night was our last night together and that on Sunday- 3rd of January, early at 7:55am he had his flight back home.
We spent that night talking to each other and we decided not to sleep just like we did the last time and we were telling each other how we feel and how much we love each other and won't let go ever and how many wonderful new memories we have made together and that we can look back at and we talked on how to manage time on camera better till the next time we see each other. We both cried a lot that night and when it was time to let go of each other again there it was that horrible pain all over again. We thought this time it would be easier but it wasn't and even tho after some time we have talked in between his flights and felt better, it was so hard seeing that apartment without him being there. I just felt like if I called out his name he would come out of some room and hug me :'(. I cannot even drink coffee this morning because we drank that coffee every morning together. And I cannot even look out from the window because there are all the places we have been and everything that means so much to me wasn't there anymore. My heart hurts really bad and I just miss him terribly!
The thing that is not helping is the big time difference and we have of 7 hours and we have to be alone for more than half of the day because when it is my 7pm, it is his noon, so I am up while he is sleeping and than he is up while I go to bed. Being alone and not being able to talk to each other when we are hurting like this is horrible. I just want him back, I just want to see him even for a second and give him one last hug. I feel so empty, so lost and so lonely without him. I cannot do anything without tears running down my face. And I have no idea when is the next time that I will be able to be with him. I have a very bed money situation and I cannot afford over a 1000 dollar ticket because I cannot have a job and have to study for my university and keep my grades up in order not to lose my scholarship. So it is all on him and I cannot do anything about it. We will probably see each other next summer as we have talked about it but that is a year and a half away and I miss him so much! It is so hard to even breathe without him. I love him so much and I want him to be my forever, my happily ever after and yet life has made it so hard for us. I am hoping that after I get these 4 years of my university done that we can finally close the distance but we have 3 and a half years left until that happens. The distance is killing me
and with all of this pain after he left I don't know how I am going to manage this and when the pain is going to stop. All I know is that I love him and I will never let go of him no matter the distance and how hard it is.I'd really appreciate any advice and will gladly listen to your experience and opinion. Thank you in advance!
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