help:(

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

If he doesn't like tattoos because they make you 'Not Perfect', how would he be in ten years' time after you two settle down and you pop out a couple of kids and -shock, horror- you have stretch marks and you're body's not the way it used to be? Or what if something terrible happens and you end up with a wheelchair, or with a slight disfigurement, or even just a scar? Will he suddenly decide he doesn't like how 'Not Perfect' you are then? I agree with Moon. His standards seem pretty high. And honestly... if he really REALLY loved you, I doubt he'd be put off by something so insignificant as what your skin looks like.

I agree with everyone else, don't beg. Leave him to it. If you go and visit him still, keep it cool and casual and friendly. But I think you may actually have just had a lucky escape. You deserve someone who can love you no matter what happens to the way you look in the future.

[Alsfia]

I got a tattoo about a year ago while my relationship was rather new and I had mentioned to my SO several times that Im actually going to go through with it (I wanted the tattoo since I was twelve so there wasnt any real question if I wanted it for sure or not) and my SO didnt like it at all. Hes got no one around him having tattoos really, noe is he interested in the artform, and even if he was also worrying about me 'destroying' my appearance I made sure to let hin come when I got it and now he really likes it. So what I wonder is does he know anything about tattoos in general?
I agree with the posters above though, it seems really shallow and personally Id be both pissed and hurt if my SO reacted like that (presuming) if he didnt even bother to ask what it looks like or what it means.
I also agree that you should meet him, who knows, you might be the one converting him to liking body art. Still, if he doesnt change opinion, you should really sit down and have a serious talk. You deserve someone who doesnt want to control the way you look, because its what makes you comfortable that counts in the long run.

[Brieasaurus]

I agree with what everyone else has said. Has he been distancing himself at all lately? Is there any chance that he's using the tattoo to end your relationship because he already wanted out? Or maybe he's just nervous about your visit. I would take Moon's advice to heart though. I'm sorry your SO reacted this way towards you. :/

[redapple]

Personally I think something else must be going on here. You say it's small and I'm guessing its not on your face or anything?!? If my bf got a tattoo without telling me if be most pissed that he hasn't told me. I'd honestly probably be a disappointed if I didn't like the design or something but leave him over it... I think you two need to have a chat about what's really going in here.

[Dziubka]

Personally I think something else must be going on here. You say it's small and I'm guessing its not on your face or anything?!? If my bf got a tattoo without telling me if be most pissed that he hasn't told me. I'd honestly probably be a disappointed if I didn't like the design or something but leave him over it... I think you two need to have a chat about what's really going in here.

I thought the same. Maybe he's scared/nervous about meeting her or something?
Or I might be making things up.
It's a total overreaction, though.

[redapple]

Oh and if he turns out just to be shallow after over a year together then I'm sure you know what we're going to suggest! Looks aren't for life in afraid, personally I want a guy who can look past my imperfections and still say you're sexy. (I have a birthmark on my face, relatively small luckily but noticable and I've never had a guy bothered. Not all men are shallow by any means! You deserve better than someone with you only while you're 'perfect')

[Dezface]

I do believe everybody has a right to have their own definition of beauty. So if he is repulsed by tattoos, so be it.

That being said, I agree that his standards seem too high. If its small and he's *really* in love with you then he should be able to overlook it. As someone else said, what happens when you acquire other imperfections? Will everything be a deal breaker for him? Seems silly. To be honest, even if he does get over it, I think you really need to think about things. I for one couldn't be with someone who threatened to leave me because I'm "not perfect."

[Zephii]

My husband's like that too. He'd shit bricks if I got a tattoo, especially if I didn't discuss it with him first. It was a hard limit when we first got together, but now I'm thinking he might soften up if I wanted something small and tasteful. Dunno what yet though.

But yeah, big things that stay on your body for life need to be discussed if the relationship is serious, imo. Give him time to cool off, there's nothing else you can do. Don't waste your time begging and crying because eventually you'll probably be glad you traded him in when someone more accepting and supportive comes along.

Let us know how you go.

[Black_Halloween]

Wow...i'm astonished that people still think that way. I have 4 tattoos and counting (3 more in the idea stage). Do you know why he doesn't like tattoos other than not being "perfect" now? Does he believe in the "everybody with tattoos are wild" stereotype?

I don't care how long you've been with him, its YOUR body and he should support you in anything you want. Tattoos are not harmful, its art. He does not get to dictate what you want to put on it. Even if you wanted to get a huge tiger going down your side with blood spilling out of its mouth :P

Its sad that he needs you to be "perfect" to be able to be together. He sounds so shallow. :/

Honestly people like that are not worth it, and you need to think about things more.

[XxFranticLovexX]

Honestly, I agree with everyone else about it being your body and your decision, but I do have to ask.. did you know his stance on tattoos beforehand? and did you tell him about it or talk to him about it first? If not then the fact that he doesn't like tattoos could be compounded with the fact that you didn't even mention it to him before doing so.It would probably seem like you didn't care enough to let him know or were trying to go behind him and do it without caring about what he thought/felt. Maybe you should talk it out with him and ask him why he feels the way that he does and see if the two of you can work it out, after giving him a day or so to cool down.

Personally, I don't like tattoos and my SO knows this. Alternately, he doesn't like piercings and I know this. That said, if he wanted to get a tattoo (as long as it wasn't something like this.. and I mean both of them, not just the girl) I would be a little put off by it (in general, not by viewing him differently) but I would still be okay with it because I love him and that would be what he wants. He finds piercings to be rather unattractive and I had my nose pierced when I met him (I took it out for various reasons of my own). He was still with me even though he dislikes piercings. I guess what I'm trying to say is, if it is put on the table and both peoples stance is known beforehand then it's something that has to be accepted and moved past if you want to be with that person. Though, if he went out and got a tattoo without telling me about it then came home with "Guess what I did!" then, yes, I would be upset. Not necessarily because he got the tattoo, but because he didn't seem to care how I felt or care enough to let me know that he was doing so. The same with me. If I decided to go get another piercing I would at least tell him about it beforehand so I could know what he thinks and talk to him about it. It's really all about compromise and mutual respect.

I would address the 'perfect' thing though. No one is perfect, including him.

[Kiyama]

If he really loves you he'll get over it. That's crazy talk with the being perfect. Ouch!
I understand why he'd be upset. If my SO went and got a tattoo knowing I didn't like it, I'd go nuts! I am deeply opposed to tattoos but my ex had one on each arm and even though I'm not fond of them, I was able to look past them. So yeah, not a reason to break up but I'd probably be angry if my SO just went and got one.