Hello everyone, I'm Gin
This forum is wonderful and it is so resourceful that I've been visiting regularly. I am still new to LDR and... I need your advice.
Here is a bit of background
SO and I are planning our next meetup for August of this year. I'm flying to him and I'll be visiting for about 3 months... We've met once before earlier this year and things went really well. Since our last meeting, we've been working hard at making it possible to meet again sooner but there were bumps here and there and we finally settled for August. I am extremely excited that things are getting back on track, I am more excited to see him soon...
HOWEVER, I am beginning to panic a little, I can't shake the feeling that I'm/He's going to do something stupid that'll mess up our relationship. But I admit I am more hard on myself... thinking I might become the perpetrator.
It is a bit strange because when we were together the first time, I did not feel that way. As a matter of fact I was more confident than I am now...
SO and I communicate well so far, I speak my mind he speaks his and we make it a point to give each other the opportunity to express our feelings and such. I am pretty much an independent individual. Not perfect at all plus I have "pride" issues when it comes to money (long story short: I hate hate HATE asking for financial assistance).
Since we've been "officially" together (4 months, we've known each other for 8 months total), I am such a happier person. He tells me he cares about me and he's been acting like he does. Lately, he's been introducing me to his best buddies... he's been asking about my family and friends... so he is opening up a bit more and I appreciate that. So what is my problem??? I wish I knew... the 3-month visit is starting to look like a challenge, a tough one too. I am definitely going for it but I need all the advice and encouragement pleaaaasssseee.
Has anyone visited their SO for a prolonged time? How did it go? How did you manage? what are some things you "planned" prior to the visit?
Any advice on finances? conflict resolution? any tips?
As you can see, I am a bit (or a lot) on anxiety mode and since I am NOT so street smart, I feel like I need to gather as much advice, support, info as possible.
For those who might wonder, we decided 3 months for a few reasons:
- I can only get 90 days maximum to Schengen
- I have great flexibility to travel up until I graduate next year. After which I will have to focus on a career or the next best thing... and that might reduce my flexibility dramatically...
- SO is starting a new career in June and will only have 2 weeks vacation until next year...
- SO and I agreed that we were going to try a mini CDR and decide if our LDR is worth pursuing given it is quite a commitment... So we want to get to a point where we are our usual selves all the time and see what happens...
Thank You for your valued input!!!
Gin
This forum is wonderful and it is so resourceful that I've been visiting regularly. I am still new to LDR and... I need your advice.
Here is a bit of background
SO and I are planning our next meetup for August of this year. I'm flying to him and I'll be visiting for about 3 months... We've met once before earlier this year and things went really well. Since our last meeting, we've been working hard at making it possible to meet again sooner but there were bumps here and there and we finally settled for August. I am extremely excited that things are getting back on track, I am more excited to see him soon...
HOWEVER, I am beginning to panic a little, I can't shake the feeling that I'm/He's going to do something stupid that'll mess up our relationship. But I admit I am more hard on myself... thinking I might become the perpetrator.
It is a bit strange because when we were together the first time, I did not feel that way. As a matter of fact I was more confident than I am now...
SO and I communicate well so far, I speak my mind he speaks his and we make it a point to give each other the opportunity to express our feelings and such. I am pretty much an independent individual. Not perfect at all plus I have "pride" issues when it comes to money (long story short: I hate hate HATE asking for financial assistance).
Since we've been "officially" together (4 months, we've known each other for 8 months total), I am such a happier person. He tells me he cares about me and he's been acting like he does. Lately, he's been introducing me to his best buddies... he's been asking about my family and friends... so he is opening up a bit more and I appreciate that. So what is my problem??? I wish I knew... the 3-month visit is starting to look like a challenge, a tough one too. I am definitely going for it but I need all the advice and encouragement pleaaaasssseee.
Has anyone visited their SO for a prolonged time? How did it go? How did you manage? what are some things you "planned" prior to the visit?
Any advice on finances? conflict resolution? any tips?
As you can see, I am a bit (or a lot) on anxiety mode and since I am NOT so street smart, I feel like I need to gather as much advice, support, info as possible.
For those who might wonder, we decided 3 months for a few reasons:
- I can only get 90 days maximum to Schengen
- I have great flexibility to travel up until I graduate next year. After which I will have to focus on a career or the next best thing... and that might reduce my flexibility dramatically...
- SO is starting a new career in June and will only have 2 weeks vacation until next year...
- SO and I agreed that we were going to try a mini CDR and decide if our LDR is worth pursuing given it is quite a commitment... So we want to get to a point where we are our usual selves all the time and see what happens...
Thank You for your valued input!!!
Gin
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