How clingy is too clingy and LDR attitudes from outsiders?

[ThePiedPiper]

I love chatting to people for as long as they'll chat to me, when I am close to them, but I also understand that we have separate lives and separate interests. Sometimes I need to go out and not worry about having conversations and other times, they do. I like to have at least some form of communication every day, but I also understand when it sometimes can't happen. My need for space increases when I'm with someone in person. For some reason I value connection more when LD (though I suppose that might make sense) and find it more suffocating if they're there with me IRL. Sometimes you simply need to wind down and be left alone for a while.

[Jess!]

I'm the clingy one and I'll admit it that it's not a good thing...I'm working really hard at dealing with it because it gets kinda overwhelming for my SO and she doesn't need that. I'm doing good so far!

The same there! I really don't like to be clingy, but since we started to be LDR I feel that I am. Although partner says I am not.
I think I also overreact a bit because I really don't want to be like that. It's about self-confidence I think, and insecurities too. (for me).

[Mims27]

The same there! I really don't like to be clingy, but since we started to be LDR I feel that I am. Although partner says I am not.
I think I also overreact a bit because I don't wan't to be like that. It's about self-confidence I think, and insecurities too. (for me).

Oh for sure it is. (for me too) I've recently discovered that my self-confidence and insecurities are very low, so I'm working on that, which will hopefully "fix" my clingy'ess.

[Jess!]

Oh for sure it is. (for me too) I've recently discovered that my self-confidence and insecurities are very low, so I'm working on that, which will hopefully "fix" my clingy'ess.

Good luck!
I think love can expand more when both are not clingy,but sure of themselves and that space is healh
ty too. so I hope all of us can work this out! When we want it, sure.

[Safihre]

It's weird, but in my CD I was the un-clingy one and my ex-SO the clingy one. But in my LDR I'm the more clingy one, or at least the one that likes more contact (probably because I was used to all the contact of CD).
Really working on it, really something I have to learn step by step

People here in my university all have been abroad so they understand the whole concept, but still all say they wouldn't know if they could handle it.

[BamPow]

Meh, I don't really think clingy-ness is necessarily a bad thing (No I don't think clingy-ness is a word. Oh well.)

It's good in some instances, because it just shows that you really love the person and want to always be with them. Utter clingy-ness is better than being utterly ignored in my opinion.

Well, I don't know. Everyone is different. Some people will hate it when you're clingy and some will love it.

But, I actually feel very loved if my baby is a bit clingy ;P

[Gin_12]

Guilty here... since last visit something happened and I'm more clingy than I used to be. I do my best to leave SO alone and deal with my insecurities alone. I actually force myself to get to a better place. Before last visit, I was very detached and he was the clingy one... *sigh*

[alittlemind]

When it comes to 'how clingy is too clingy' I think it all depends on the person. My ex constantly brought up that I was clingy, etc. Of course maybe I've improved a bit but my boyfriend now does not see me as clingy, even though I am. It really just depends on each of the people in the relationship. The way I show affection is by keeping in contact, I guess, and the way he shows affection is more physical. We're both a little clingy I suppose. Me more when we're not together and him more when we're not. It doesn't bother either of us and that's what's important. I think there is a line between clingy and too clingy though. I have just never experienced it personally...

As to the LDR attitude in my surroundings, no one really says much of it because no one really knows much about it. I've only been in two relationships and both have ended up going long distance, so basically I'm the only one who knows much about it. I think most have a pessimistic attitude that tv shows and movies teach us... that LDRs are hard. But what they don't teach us is that it can work if you want it to work and you work together as a team.

Sorry if this was incoherent. Long day at school...

[chizatlauren]

My SO says I'm not clingy but I think I am. I don't want to be clingy, but the distance is making me long for more Skype calls and text messages.

[BabyGund]

I try not to be clingy. But insecurity is a bitch. That's the biggest thing. We're both online and we're both flirts. I always get a pang of insecurity when I see him flirt with someone else...and then I have to remember it means nothing, that's just his nature.

[Alsfia]

First post in a while, probably due to the fact that I am in UK at the moment and will be for quite a while I'm too lucky
Out of the two of us my SO is definitely the clingier one... Most of the time I don't mind, but I've had to put down a few ground rules, such as no cuddling while I'm holding anything sharp or hot (for some reason the kitchen really brings out his clingy side...) I'm terrible with isolating myself when I'm annoyed or sad, I'm getting better but that's when i really hate anything even resembling being clingy...

As for how people at home takes LDRs... I think they've got used to the idea by now. Friends my age can't quite understand how we handle it and people 10-ish years older are mostly interested in how much flights cost, while people my parents age talks about how easy it is to keep in contact with Internet these days... And how cheap it is compared to phone calls... Besides, my SOs visits are the happening of the month in my little village Better than the circus!

[TooFarAway]

i think when u love someone they can never be clingy or 2 clingy me n my boyfriend literally been talking 24/7 since i wake up till i go sleep, and we dont get tired of that

Woo yess this! ^ <333333
Me and my baby never get bored of each other and want to spend as much time together as possible xD (because hours feel like seconds when we talk ;-; )
And if it weren't for our parents and other external forces trying to keep us apart, we'd be talking 24/7 too >u<

[GFI_1155]

I think it depends on how clingy he/she is and their attitudes. If the clingy person is being clingy in a silly way it wouldn't be nice completely. Also, Being clingy in both SOs has some benefits like talking to the other person and knowing what she/he is doing now, and it could help building trust too, in addition knowing what their daily routine is like. I remember my SO used to be the clingy one and I didn't mind it at all, I liked it actually. He talked to me almost everywhere he goes, in the car, at his work, at home, at his cousin's and everywhere. When he was at home we spend time talking or doing other naughty things LOL, or we go hang around in a virtual 3D world called SecondLife. So as I said it depends how the other person is being clingy

[demonwithin]

I talk with my SO all day, while im at work, or in college, it think its great personally cause im kinda a control freak an i like to know if mines okay and fine, but yeah clingys good, least you'll know if somethings wrong right?
LDR where im from is kinda taboo cause in the city everyone wants to go out and party, with dates or picking up dates >.> so i had to get past that, and im sure you will as well :3 <3
good luck

[AppleDog22]

I think part of it depends on how each shows his/her love. My SO is great with verbally expressing his feelings for me and I'm more physical, which is tricky in LDR, so I end up sending lots of little things. And I'm definitely more "clingy" if I'm having a tough week--with work, with our situation, etc. A little cling is good once and a while and I agree that it's about balance and mutual reassurance.

I'm lucky in that my family and friends who know are supportive to our situation--maybe because we met in person and it turned into a LDR. Unfortunately there still seems to be a stigma around "meeting online" or online dating. And of course families and friends are naturally going to be curious and want us to be cautious. Like said in another post--it's an educating moment for others