Hello everyone,
My first post here so please be gentle.
I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for by posting here, but I guess I just want to share my situation and perhaps read some of your opinions.
I try to keep this short, but I guess that I also have to include some background to my current situation.
About five years ago I got a nice job in a big international companys local office. Since our HQ and plants are in another country I soon started to get connected with people from another country. For the sake of everyones privacy I will not name any countries. I emailed a lot to this one young and also new to her job girl for all sorts of technical matters and always got very nice replies. Soon I found myself emailing her about non-work related stuff, too, like to ask how her weekend was and so on. She always happily replied and we kept emailing back and forth randomly for a few years.
About a year ago she suddenly asked me if I could accept her as a FB friend even though we are colleagues. I happily did so, of course, since I was starting to really like her. We had never even talked on the phone let alone met in person!
Since we became FB buddies we started to chat more and also started to send text msgs etc. This slowly got more and more personal. We both had hidden most of our information in FB so we both had very little idea of if the other is dating or not for example. Eventually I told her that I have a girlfriend, but that we are breaking up after a very long relationship. She still didn't mention to me that she, too, has a bf until after a rather long time. When she told me about her bf she was worried if this would change anything between us. I told no it wouldn't, but inside I was already hurting since I really wanted her to be single. They had been together "on-off" as she put it for some 5-6 years and had recently moved together.
I decided to try to keep things friendly with her since she had a bf, but couldn't. The more we talked the deeper it always got. She certainly noticed the same. We even ended up having cyber sex in FB a couple of times...which we both absolutely loved. Time went by slowly and she kept on living her life and I did mine, but we were constantly in each others minds. We constantly messaged in WhatsApp about our comings and going, how we missed the other and so on. Even when she was travelling around Europe with her bf she sent me messages about how she missed me and would rather be here. It made me feel good every time, but hurt like hell, too.
A one point we talked about how we should continue this and I told her, that I would one day want to try a real relationship with her. This I think scared her a bit and she immediately told me that as much as she has a crush on me she will not break up with her bf as she feels like she is living her dream: Lots of money, friends, travelling, parties and so on. Ok so again I was shattered even though I kinda knew to expect it. I tried to end everything with her right there, but she didn't. After sleeping over a night I decided to be brave and ask her if she would be willing to keep doing what we were doing or otherwise I would have to copmpletely disappear in order to protect myself from too much heart ache. She said that she would like to keep up what we had.
So we did keep it on. Very sweet messages and emails kept going back and forth and she many times told me that she is thinking of me way too much and not like what is appropriate at all. At this point I was also falling in love quickly even though we had never seen or even talked on the phone yet.
One day we had a nice long chat again and decided that we absolutely have to meet otherwise we will go crazy. She was very hesitant, of course, and told me that she is afraid of what she will find. She always had told me that I seem to be the perfect match for her. I thought the same of her. Eventually she (she has plenty of money and I'm poor) booked tickets to fly over. We were both hyper-excited for a week as the flight approached! But of course a day before she was due to get on the plane her bf found out about it. When she told me about it I was scared that this will ruin it all. She had told him that it was a business trip, but he saw her flight ticket bookings which were private. I don't know how or why but her bf actually let her come here if we were "just friends"!? She really wanted to see me so she got on the plane and flew to me. We were both extremely nervous when we met at the airport, but it all disappeared in two seconds after she jumped on me and we hugged for god knows how long. It was like we had known each others for ever. We went to eat and soon we both realized that this friend thing is not working for us, but she actually said it out loud.
I save you the details but we spent wonderful few days at my place. As if she never had had a bf in the first place, but still she was very worried to keep everything secret from him. She also told me that what she found is what she had feared the most. She didn't clarify it more and I didn't want to ask. I was scared that I would ruin something if I did.
Only after a day or two after she returned home we were again messaging about where to meet again... This time I flew to her while her bf was away and we spent maybe the best and sweetest three days I have ever had together. Again everything had to be kept as a strict secret... One night when we lay on the hotel bed she stared deep in to my eyes and told me that if we keep meeting she will fall in love with me. It almost made me cry as I had felt the same for her for a long time. She again told me that she do not want to break up with her bf, but we also talked about me moving to her country and learn the language etc. How bloody weird?
Ok now we are basically in the present day again as I came back from this trip just this Monday.
She is back at home and I sit here on my PC and miss her like crazy! While typing this we are already messaging about our next chance to meet and we must wait for 6 weeks or so.
So there is the background. A big mess, right? Or perhaps the start of a true love story? Who the heck knows. Her current relationship surely is not in the best possible state otherwise things would never have gone this far so I can't even feel all that bad for what we have done. In fact I feel amazingly good and complete when I'm with her.
Please ladies tell me what I dare to expect from all this? Our feelings seem to be clear and our actions definitely are. Can there be any chance that I can actually have a real relationship with her? For that to really happen she has to break-up with her bf, lose a lot of good friends from his side, give up their common home, have a noticeable decrease in income and so on.
If she really has found true love with me would all that be possible? Only to end up in a long distance relationship with me for some time before I could move to her.
Am I crazy to keep going after her and the possible LDR? I probably could find a nice lady for myself from my own country, but I'm so god damn badly fallen for just her...
Ok now this is a long first post. Thank you if you took the time to read through it and please post any opinions and comments that you might have.
My first post here so please be gentle.
I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for by posting here, but I guess I just want to share my situation and perhaps read some of your opinions.
I try to keep this short, but I guess that I also have to include some background to my current situation.
About five years ago I got a nice job in a big international companys local office. Since our HQ and plants are in another country I soon started to get connected with people from another country. For the sake of everyones privacy I will not name any countries. I emailed a lot to this one young and also new to her job girl for all sorts of technical matters and always got very nice replies. Soon I found myself emailing her about non-work related stuff, too, like to ask how her weekend was and so on. She always happily replied and we kept emailing back and forth randomly for a few years.
About a year ago she suddenly asked me if I could accept her as a FB friend even though we are colleagues. I happily did so, of course, since I was starting to really like her. We had never even talked on the phone let alone met in person!
Since we became FB buddies we started to chat more and also started to send text msgs etc. This slowly got more and more personal. We both had hidden most of our information in FB so we both had very little idea of if the other is dating or not for example. Eventually I told her that I have a girlfriend, but that we are breaking up after a very long relationship. She still didn't mention to me that she, too, has a bf until after a rather long time. When she told me about her bf she was worried if this would change anything between us. I told no it wouldn't, but inside I was already hurting since I really wanted her to be single. They had been together "on-off" as she put it for some 5-6 years and had recently moved together.
I decided to try to keep things friendly with her since she had a bf, but couldn't. The more we talked the deeper it always got. She certainly noticed the same. We even ended up having cyber sex in FB a couple of times...which we both absolutely loved. Time went by slowly and she kept on living her life and I did mine, but we were constantly in each others minds. We constantly messaged in WhatsApp about our comings and going, how we missed the other and so on. Even when she was travelling around Europe with her bf she sent me messages about how she missed me and would rather be here. It made me feel good every time, but hurt like hell, too.
A one point we talked about how we should continue this and I told her, that I would one day want to try a real relationship with her. This I think scared her a bit and she immediately told me that as much as she has a crush on me she will not break up with her bf as she feels like she is living her dream: Lots of money, friends, travelling, parties and so on. Ok so again I was shattered even though I kinda knew to expect it. I tried to end everything with her right there, but she didn't. After sleeping over a night I decided to be brave and ask her if she would be willing to keep doing what we were doing or otherwise I would have to copmpletely disappear in order to protect myself from too much heart ache. She said that she would like to keep up what we had.
So we did keep it on. Very sweet messages and emails kept going back and forth and she many times told me that she is thinking of me way too much and not like what is appropriate at all. At this point I was also falling in love quickly even though we had never seen or even talked on the phone yet.
One day we had a nice long chat again and decided that we absolutely have to meet otherwise we will go crazy. She was very hesitant, of course, and told me that she is afraid of what she will find. She always had told me that I seem to be the perfect match for her. I thought the same of her. Eventually she (she has plenty of money and I'm poor) booked tickets to fly over. We were both hyper-excited for a week as the flight approached! But of course a day before she was due to get on the plane her bf found out about it. When she told me about it I was scared that this will ruin it all. She had told him that it was a business trip, but he saw her flight ticket bookings which were private. I don't know how or why but her bf actually let her come here if we were "just friends"!? She really wanted to see me so she got on the plane and flew to me. We were both extremely nervous when we met at the airport, but it all disappeared in two seconds after she jumped on me and we hugged for god knows how long. It was like we had known each others for ever. We went to eat and soon we both realized that this friend thing is not working for us, but she actually said it out loud.
I save you the details but we spent wonderful few days at my place. As if she never had had a bf in the first place, but still she was very worried to keep everything secret from him. She also told me that what she found is what she had feared the most. She didn't clarify it more and I didn't want to ask. I was scared that I would ruin something if I did.
Only after a day or two after she returned home we were again messaging about where to meet again... This time I flew to her while her bf was away and we spent maybe the best and sweetest three days I have ever had together. Again everything had to be kept as a strict secret... One night when we lay on the hotel bed she stared deep in to my eyes and told me that if we keep meeting she will fall in love with me. It almost made me cry as I had felt the same for her for a long time. She again told me that she do not want to break up with her bf, but we also talked about me moving to her country and learn the language etc. How bloody weird?
Ok now we are basically in the present day again as I came back from this trip just this Monday.
She is back at home and I sit here on my PC and miss her like crazy! While typing this we are already messaging about our next chance to meet and we must wait for 6 weeks or so.
So there is the background. A big mess, right? Or perhaps the start of a true love story? Who the heck knows. Her current relationship surely is not in the best possible state otherwise things would never have gone this far so I can't even feel all that bad for what we have done. In fact I feel amazingly good and complete when I'm with her.
Please ladies tell me what I dare to expect from all this? Our feelings seem to be clear and our actions definitely are. Can there be any chance that I can actually have a real relationship with her? For that to really happen she has to break-up with her bf, lose a lot of good friends from his side, give up their common home, have a noticeable decrease in income and so on.
If she really has found true love with me would all that be possible? Only to end up in a long distance relationship with me for some time before I could move to her.
Am I crazy to keep going after her and the possible LDR? I probably could find a nice lady for myself from my own country, but I'm so god damn badly fallen for just her...
Ok now this is a long first post. Thank you if you took the time to read through it and please post any opinions and comments that you might have.
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