Need some advice :c

[Hannurh]

Hiya, I'm Hannah. I'm 17. My boyfriend is 16.

My boyfriend is quite clingy and asks for replies 24/7 and if I don't reply, he usually starts an argument with me saying how ignorant or oblivious I am. Sadly, i'm quite slow at replying, and I always have been not because I want to be but my concentration level is very low so when i'm doing one thing, I remember I need to do another and I start doing that, totally forgetting the other thing I was doing. That must sound terrible. I love him to bits, he means the world to me and frankly, he says I either need to start replying quicker or it's over but usually, he thinks i'm telling lies or whatever which makes it more difficult. I'm quite difficult person to communicate with and we have this constant argument over and over, and I ask my friends for help but since he knows my friends too, he usually asks them or asks me if i've been asking for help which makes it alot worse. I really want to solve the issue and be a better person but everytime I say that, I end up doing it again, it's like a habit and a bad habit at that because he thinks I don't care when in reality, i'd do anything for him. I really want to be a better person but the fact it it can take between 5-20 minutes for me to reply sometimes just pisses me off because I really want to be a better person, the person he loves but i'm having difficulty to do that. I'm also really forgetful, so when I go out somewhere or to do something I forget to mention it to him.

[LadyDaemon]

First,expecting you to reply 24/7 without fail is unrealistic. You have a life to live and you have things to do outside of him and he needs to understand that. Just because you're 5 -20 min. late replying doesn't mean you're lying,that you're a bad person,that he should love you any less or even break up with you. That's something so trivial to break up with someone over. If you weren't talking to him at all or ignoring him for days on end I could see But,you also have to take into account his age. He's only 16 and unfortunately the patience and maturity in handling situations like this is kinda nonexistent. I honestly don't know one teenager at the age of 16 who doesn't want things done when they want it done because their level of patience sucks. The only thing you can really do is talk to him about it and if he leaves you then honestly he wasn't worth it to begin with.

[Mairja]

I can only echo what LadyDaemon said - expecting you to reply to him instantly all the time is indeed unrealistic. I don't think anybody here is capable of doing that, we all have our own life and things to tend to and can't be at the beck-and-call of our SO every hour of every day. I can also relate to what you said about your concentration level - I'm like that (for medical reasons), if I'm focused on something it makes me kind of block out whatever else is going on around me and I listen to my SO but don't really hear what he's saying, or I read his message on Skype and promptly forget about it. Fortunately, he knows what I'm like and accepts it and if it's about something important he'll just poke at me again when I'm more focused on him.

And yes, there's also his age to consider. You're both very young, however boys do tend to mature more slowly than girls. If you have explained to him how it is with you, and that you never do it on purpose, and he still doesn't believe you and threaten to break up with you over this issue - then you might just be better off without him. I know it's a horrible thing to say, but you constantly struggling with this, with trying to reassure him and fighting guilt because you can't be exactly how he wants you to be, is also a horrible thing, and toxic to the relationship (and to you).