Hi LDRs!
I'm new to this forum and I'm beginning to realize that I'm not all alone in the LDR world. Feels a little bit better that way.
Anyways, my boyfriend just left Sweden yesterday morning and it feels like I'm going to be sad and close to tears forever. I was an exchange student in the U.S. where I met him, and we've been together for 7 months in a week. It was really hard to leave then, in June, but not even close to how I feel this time. I had so much that I missed about home after being away for 10 months and nothing at home really reminded me of him. But now after spending 3 weeks here with him by my side 24/7, there are memories everywhere. I know he had a tough time when I left too, but now he seems to be more okay than I am. It seems like it's harder to be left than to leave.
Wherever I go now I just feel like crying. I see him everywhere. I can barely eat, which is unusual for me. I keep thinking about the future and how things just seem quite impossible. He has one year left of High School and I have two years, since I missed one at home. He's undecided for college still, but he's been talking about medical/science and would like to study for about 7 years. He's very ambitious. I just can't stop thinking about how that's going to work, since it's very expensive to study in the U.S. and I basically have free education where I live. And long distance for 8+ years? I don't think I could do that. I don't want to have these thoughts and I know that we're both still young and things can change, but it's really hard for me to not think about the future. I'm so in love with him and no one can make me so happy and laugh so much. He's always there for me and things just feel so perfectly right when I'm with him. I don't want to be without him. And I don't want to end things because it SEEMS impossible.
Also, it's hard to find times that we can see each other. Our holidays don't match, except summer and winter break. And other breaks seem too short anyways, one week is not a lot since it takes at least two days to travel -total. Plus it's so darn expensive. I'm trying to distract myself by looking at tickets and stuff for Christmas, where we could be together for 14 days. But it's 20 weeks until then. 140 days. How do you do that? I was without him for a little more than a month before he came here, and I felt okay - but I guess that's because there weren't any memories of him here that could haunt me, like now.
I don't know. I just feel terrible. Skyping makes me both happy and sad. Sometimes I start crying when we talk about random stuff. He wrote so many sweet things on my whiteboard in my room (surprise) that I smile at, but then I feel so alone just a couple seconds later. My mom is worried about me because I don't eat much. Or barely anything at all. I just have this lump in my throat. I keep smelling his shirt and deodorant that he left. I even deodorant my bed so that it smells like him and I feel really pathetic. Also, it really sucks to sleep alone. Yesterday I fell alseep quickly since I was exhausted from barely sleeping for two days (we didn't wanna waste time sleeping the night before he left early in the morning and I couldn't sleep afterwards because I was just crying). I don't really feel like hanging out with my friends either, I don't want them to ask questions and then risk crying like a baby in front of them. But I need distractions. I miss him so much it hurts
I don't know whar you guys have to say about this, but I really need some kind of advice/support. Please don't write that it would be better to end things or something like that because I really can't do that. I love him and I know he loves me. I don't want to let him go.
I'm new to this forum and I'm beginning to realize that I'm not all alone in the LDR world. Feels a little bit better that way.
Anyways, my boyfriend just left Sweden yesterday morning and it feels like I'm going to be sad and close to tears forever. I was an exchange student in the U.S. where I met him, and we've been together for 7 months in a week. It was really hard to leave then, in June, but not even close to how I feel this time. I had so much that I missed about home after being away for 10 months and nothing at home really reminded me of him. But now after spending 3 weeks here with him by my side 24/7, there are memories everywhere. I know he had a tough time when I left too, but now he seems to be more okay than I am. It seems like it's harder to be left than to leave.
Wherever I go now I just feel like crying. I see him everywhere. I can barely eat, which is unusual for me. I keep thinking about the future and how things just seem quite impossible. He has one year left of High School and I have two years, since I missed one at home. He's undecided for college still, but he's been talking about medical/science and would like to study for about 7 years. He's very ambitious. I just can't stop thinking about how that's going to work, since it's very expensive to study in the U.S. and I basically have free education where I live. And long distance for 8+ years? I don't think I could do that. I don't want to have these thoughts and I know that we're both still young and things can change, but it's really hard for me to not think about the future. I'm so in love with him and no one can make me so happy and laugh so much. He's always there for me and things just feel so perfectly right when I'm with him. I don't want to be without him. And I don't want to end things because it SEEMS impossible.
Also, it's hard to find times that we can see each other. Our holidays don't match, except summer and winter break. And other breaks seem too short anyways, one week is not a lot since it takes at least two days to travel -total. Plus it's so darn expensive. I'm trying to distract myself by looking at tickets and stuff for Christmas, where we could be together for 14 days. But it's 20 weeks until then. 140 days. How do you do that? I was without him for a little more than a month before he came here, and I felt okay - but I guess that's because there weren't any memories of him here that could haunt me, like now.
I don't know. I just feel terrible. Skyping makes me both happy and sad. Sometimes I start crying when we talk about random stuff. He wrote so many sweet things on my whiteboard in my room (surprise) that I smile at, but then I feel so alone just a couple seconds later. My mom is worried about me because I don't eat much. Or barely anything at all. I just have this lump in my throat. I keep smelling his shirt and deodorant that he left. I even deodorant my bed so that it smells like him and I feel really pathetic. Also, it really sucks to sleep alone. Yesterday I fell alseep quickly since I was exhausted from barely sleeping for two days (we didn't wanna waste time sleeping the night before he left early in the morning and I couldn't sleep afterwards because I was just crying). I don't really feel like hanging out with my friends either, I don't want them to ask questions and then risk crying like a baby in front of them. But I need distractions. I miss him so much it hurts
I don't know whar you guys have to say about this, but I really need some kind of advice/support. Please don't write that it would be better to end things or something like that because I really can't do that. I love him and I know he loves me. I don't want to let him go.
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