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    #16
    Originally posted by Freebird View Post
    My relationship is still new, and I've only really told my mother about my long-distance boyfriend. She called him a "pen pal" and didn't take me very seriously at first. After a few weeks I told her he was planning on visiting in a few months. She was a bit baffled... I don't think she really comprehended how strong I feel about him. She asked if she could meet him. We haven't really created official plans so that's still up in the air. I told her, if we were nearby when he visits, we would have lunch or dinner but the rest of the time would be for ME AND HIM. My dear mother, love her to death... I had to make it clear this wasn't going to be a "mom, daughter, oh and that 3rd wheel boyfriend guy" visit!

    I've not met by SO in person yet so I'm not sure I'm ready for the family to meet him either. A short visit with my mom might not be too bad though... maybe.

    I've not told anyone else in my family, but to be honest I'm not as close to anyone else except my mom. As time goes on, they will eventually know. But right now it's not a pressing issue. I imagine they won't take me very seriously as well either.

    To you, good luck. I can imagine how frustrating your situation is. But I must say, this is YOUR life. Not your stepfather's. You are in charge of your own life. You do what you feel is right with your SO.
    thanks for sharing! Maybe you could spend a few days with him alone and then decide if you want him to meet your mom or not I wish you the best of luck! when will you meet your SO for the first time? Have you written down your story somewhere?

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      #17
      My situation is a bit different, due to my age what my parents think has no direct affect on my relationship, but having their support means a lot to me anyway. It was more my daughter that wasn't so thrilled about me running off to foreign countries. She didn't want to hear about it, see my pictures and didn't care to get to know my guy. I think she was afraid I'd up and move to Finland. As time has passed, she's gotten much better about it and is pretty cool with the whole thing. (in case anyone doesn't know, she's an adult, I'm not talking about abandoning my child here )

      I guess she figured out that after more than 4 years of this, that everything is OK after all.
      Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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        #18
        Originally posted by USofSam View Post
        thanks for sharing! Maybe you could spend a few days with him alone and then decide if you want him to meet your mom or not I wish you the best of luck! when will you meet your SO for the first time? Have you written down your story somewhere?
        Thanks! If all goes well, the plan is to meet in February.
        I've not written a story but that might be a good idea!

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          #19
          I actually met him the day of my divorce (i was married prior for 15 long years). Therefore, for obvious reasons, I waited nearly two years before I even mentioned him to my mother (I wanted to make sure we were long term serious first). My mom is extremely overprotective and has to live within 5 miles of me...it seems (has for the last three moves anyway). Though I am in my mid-thirties, I am the only daughter (several brothers) and I am also the youngest of my siblings. I just knew my mom would be judgemental! I've often heard her talk to her friends about various subjects, how online relationships never work out, how LDR's have no chance for survival, how any age gap of 4+ years is too much (opinions out the wazoo). On top of that my parents are divorced and my mom despises anything about my dad. So as it turns out, the love of my life is someone I met online. We live in neighboring countries. He happens to be 21 years my senior, and ironically enough, he has the same occupation AND the same first name as my dad, mom's dreaded ex. I honestly do not have any father issues by the way. I just happened to fall in love with the man meant for me. As it turns out, they treat him genuinely better than me most times. He won them over by being his awesome self, not being afraid to show me affection around them, and by being honest with any questions they asked of him. I'm so glad he's no longer a secret!!
          Last edited by Freespirited; August 24, 2013, 05:25 AM. Reason: Rough flow- ease of reading

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            #20
            Originally posted by Freespirited View Post
            I actually met him the day of my divorce (i was married prior for 15 long years). Therefore, for obvious reasons, I waited nearly two years before I even mentioned him to my mother (I wanted to make sure we were long term serious first). My mom is extremely overprotective and has to live within 5 miles of me...it seems (has for the last three moves anyway). Though I am in my mid-thirties, I am the only daughter (several brothers) and I am also the youngest of my siblings. I just knew my mom would be judgemental! I've often heard her talk to her friends about various subjects, how online relationships never work out, how LDR's have no chance for survival, how any age gap of 4+ years is too much (opinions out the wazoo). On top of that my parents are divorced and my mom despises anything about my dad. So as it turns out, the love of my life is someone I met online. We live in neighboring countries. He happens to be 21 years my senior, and ironically enough, he has the same occupation AND the same first name as my dad, mom's dreaded ex. I honestly do not have any father issues by the way. I just happened to fall in love with the man meant for me. As it turns out, they treat him genuinely better than me most times. He won them over by being his awesome self, not being afraid to show me affection around them, and by being honest with any questions they asked of him. I'm so glad he's no longer a secret!!
            wow yeah I can totally understand why you waited that long to tell your mom! I'm glad it turned out well

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              #21
              I come from very religious family. My divorce was 'end of the world' for them already so when I started dating Adam they got very unhappy.


              My mom told me point blank that she'd rather I was alone and unhappy for the rest of my life and not 'sin' with other man that by happy with Adam.

              My dad come to terms with the fact I have good man way quicker than i expected him, he told me he likes seing me happy. My mom is still against it.

              She met Adam, liked him very much (He is impossible to not like - kind of guy) and slowly, very slowly starts accepting the fact that I am in new relationship and she can't do anything about it.

              For my parents my ex husband will be my husband for the rest of his life.

              Time is needed but I'd also ask your father why exactly he doesn't like your SO, sometimes dads see way more than we do, and sometimes they are just overprotective parents that need to come to terms with the fact their kids are growing up.
              “We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.”
              ― Robert Fulghum, True Love

              Met UK 3.08.2012-5.08.12 ->UK 1.12.12-3.12.12->PL 8.02.13-16.02.13->PL 1.06.13-9.06.13->UK 3.08.13-17.08.13->UK 26.10.2013-02.11.2013->PL 30.11.2013-08.12.2013->PL 22.03.2014-29.03.2014->UK 31.05.2014-07.06.2014->PL 06.09.2014-13.09.13->UK 20.12.2014-03.01.2015
              Closed the distance >21.03.2015
              sigpic

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                #22
                My father passed away a couple of years ago, and without going into details, for legal reasons I have no relationship with my mother.
                However, his parents are very supportive, as are the rest of his family They're so supportive in fact, that his mum has already mentioned to him that she likes the idea of us living together! We haven't even met yet! I guess it helps that I've spoken to her on facebook and have won her over
                Counting the days until we close the distance.
                EmmaCupcake Loves JoshehSlayzZombiez

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                  #23
                  I told my parents about my SO before he was my SO. I don't think they were surprised when I informed them when he became my boyfriend.

                  My parents aren't the type to be overly involved. It takes time for them to really open up to people. That being said, they've met my SO every time he's visited. He talks and gets on well with my mother.
                  My father is a little more withdrawn with him. But that's my father being a father, I think. He'll get used to him, although it may take some time xD
                  He was the same way with my brothers girlfriend.

                  My brother and sisters on the other hand LOVE him.
                  and he's very fond of them

                  I think you should have a word with your step-father. I know it wont be easy.
                  Just try explaining to your father that you love your fiance and you need both men (father and SO) in your life and his support would mean the world to you.
                  Ask him to try and get to know your SO, for your sake

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                    #24
                    Mine are! When I said I couldn't make my flight because there was no train that early they immediately offered to drive me to the airport!
                    His mom... Said I was over-staying once when I was staying at their house for 2/3 days So no.
                    Pretty disappointed about that
                    Last edited by SJ22; September 9, 2013, 02:54 PM.
                    "If you say you can't, you just don't want to"

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                      #25
                      My dad isn't happy about it at all but he never says anything bad about it. My mum is though even though she s upset at the thought of me moving to another country
                      ~Shaunna~

                      *Distance isn't an obstacle when it comes to love, but rather a great reminder on just how strong true love can be*


                      We're engaged 2014 - save $$, 2015 - get married, 2016 - make the big move!

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                        #26
                        My mum and my youngest brother absolutely loves my SO, to the point when we got of the train the first thing my brother did was shout 'Alex!!!!!!!' and ran straight into his arms, ignoring the fact I hadn't been home for 2½ months... I didn't mind too much though Mum has been thrilled that my SO will stay here for 2½ weeks instead of one in October and was in fact the one pushing hardest to make that happen As for my other brother... He seems to like him, they've got a strange relationship with sending eachother pictures of cows on WhatsApp.... My dad's spoken English isn't the best, which accounts for most of my family on my dad's side, it's way better on my mum's side. His mum really likes me and we get along really well, his brother likes me too I think. I get along really well with his sister as well, even if we don't have a thing in common His dad is the only one I don't really know about, it's hard to tell... He doesn't seem to mind me as much as the fact that my SO rather stay here on holidays than go somewhere else
                        We part only to meet again ~ J.Gay

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                          #27
                          That sounds harsh and blown out of proportion! Don't get why he has to be like that with you!

                          My parents have been great, honestly I'm really lucky, they know me and they know I never do anything the easy way, including love, they also know I've loved and been hurt many times and they don't want to see that happen again, they were skeptical at the start, for more reasons than one, but they came around, they've spoken to my SO on the phone and seen her on skype etc, they get on good and they have helped me all along the way, even paying for things like paint when I re-did my room recently and paying for the curtains I bought to have backing, I didn't ask, they just did that, and they are letting my SO stay with us when she is here for the next 5 months, literally giving us half the house when she's here so we don't have to bump into each other all the time! Which is great,they know our plans to marry in Thailand and insist we have a party back here after, they won't come into any of the rooms they've "allocated" to us. Even given us the front door key and they'll use the back!

                          "Buddha made you for me" - My SO



                          1st Met/Visit: Nov 2012 - Thailand
                          2nd Visit: May 2013 - Thailand
                          3rd Visit: Jun 2013 - Thailand
                          4th Visit: Sep 2013 - Thailand
                          5th Visit: Sep 2013 - Jan 2014 - UK
                          6th Visit: Apr 2014 - Thailand - Marry
                          7th Visit: Sept 14th 2014 - Thailand - Wedding Ceremony / Party
                          Close the distance - Sept 21st 2014 - UK
                          UK Wedding Party: November 8th 2014

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