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**alizee** · August 31, 2013, 02:20 AM

I think you two need to have a break! How many times a day or a week do you speak???? For how long???? Maybe he is just not in the mood to talk to you anytime, and that is why he doesn*t seem so present in the discusion. LDRs can be hard on both parts, because the distance takes its toll on both people. Everybody*s got a life and problems where they are. Maybe that*s the best way he can manage the distance ... I believe if you two will have a break (2-7 days) maybe he will get himself together and will be eager to talk to you!!!! Maybe he will also be willing to tell you about his problema ... just stop suffocating him, because guys can feel like that more than we girls do!!!
Hope my advice helps!!!!

**LadyDaemon** · August 31, 2013, 02:31 AM

Ok,so this is like the 3rd post I've seen from you in the last 3 days about the same issues. I'm starting to see that maybe you're nip picking at him and it might be getting on his nerves. I've noticed that everything he does or doesn't do you have a problem with. If you two are talking a lot all of the time and you're constantly getting upset at him and suffocating him with your complaining then maybe like alizee said,you need to take a break from each other. You go your own way for about a week and him go his. As much as communication in a LDR is important,sometimes to much of it can cause rifts. I think you just need to give each other some space for a little bit.

**lea22** · August 31, 2013, 11:55 AM

Originally posted by LadyDaemon View Post

Ok,so this is like the 3rd post I've seen from you in the last 3 days about the same issues. I'm starting to see that maybe you're nip picking at him and it might be getting on his nerves. I've noticed that everything he does or doesn't do you have a problem with. If you two are talking a lot all of the time and you're constantly getting upset at him and suffocating him with your complaining then maybe like alizee said,you need to take a break from each other. You go your own way for about a week and him go his. As much as communication in a LDR is important,sometimes to much of it can cause rifts. I think you just need to give each other some space for a little bit.

Agreed.

Pull away, and he'll come back if he wants to be in this relationship.

You can only talk so much in a LDR, it's not like when you're together and you can go silent for a while, on the phone/skype you're in a forced talking situation which can get difficult if you run out of things to say. And running out of things to say isn't bad, it just means it's time to go for now! Know when to call it quits with the calls and remember - it's quality not quantity.

**cheese_cakeblue** · September 1, 2013, 10:15 AM

HI ALizee

thank u for taking the time reading my thread

everyday, 3x a day..like 30 min each...actually. i suggested before to have a space, since were not have anything much to talk about and it always leads to argument.. but he said "is that what you want? sorry for being in low spirit"

i wanted to open up the idea of having a space again,i just dont know to start. i dont want him to feel bad about it..

**cheese_cakeblue** · September 1, 2013, 10:21 AM

I agree with you LadyDaemon

like what i've said to alizee, i suggested before to have a space, since were not have anything much to talk about and it always leads to argument..

i wanted to open up the idea of having a space again, i just dont know to start...

**cheese_cakeblue** · September 1, 2013, 10:25 AM

thanks Lea22

Iagree with everybody

having a space for a week is the best solution, i just dont know how to open up the idea.

**Swederica** · September 1, 2013, 05:52 PM

It's pretty simple really. If you're the one that usually starts the conversations, then just don't. Let him be the one coming to you. Let him keep the conversations going, the questions and stuff.
Be there, but only if he starts talking to you. If he doesn't, then essentially a break is happening.

**alizee** · September 2, 2013, 12:53 AM

Originally posted by cheese_cakeblue View Post

HI ALizee

thank u for taking the time reading my thread

everyday, 3x a day..like 30 min each...actually. i suggested before to have a space, since were not have anything much to talk about and it always leads to argument.. but he said "is that what you want? sorry for being in low spirit"

i wanted to open up the idea of having a space again,i just dont know to start. i dont want him to feel bad about it..

That*s good that you realise you both need to take a break or some days off from your communication. This will calm down the spririts and will make you excited for the coming communication. And please, don*t talk everyday and 3 times a day!!!! I believe it*s way too much and it will stress you out. I mean you said that you don*t have everyday (or each 3 times/ day) what to talk about and I am telling you from my experience that this is making you feel awkward... Just limit yourselves to talking every 2 days for about 15-30 min. I always do this with my boyfriend - and when the conversation gets lagging and we don*t know what to say I finish it to leave it in a happy and interesting note!!! Remember it matters the quality not the quantity of the conversation!!! Maybe that*s why your boyfriend feels uninterested because the conversations gets boring ...
And tell him that you both need to rarefy the conversations because it will do you both good and you will be more revived in the relationship!!! Hope this helps!!!

**Kiyama** · September 2, 2013, 02:25 AM

Originally posted by cheese_cakeblue View Post

My SO is uber moody

sometimes he's ok sometimes not...its very tiring

i dont know how to start a conversation if he's always like that... this morning, we end up having question & answer type of conversation.. feels like he's just forcing his self to answer..lunch time, still the same..i asked him if he want to discuss something he just replied no thanks.. told him that i feel there still a wall between us..he just said sorry that he cannot contribute anything..just like that??? God, i just wanted to disappear! im sooooo clueless.. im not a mind reader. He won;t say anything..i feel so exhausted in this relationship! im so stress..i dont want to think of giving up, but i feel were leading up to that... he doesnt want to help himself to grow...he always say sorry for hurting me but i cannot see the effort... and what's funny, he has always the right to have a feeling of being ignored...

there was a time i asked him what i will do if he's like that to avoid misunderstanding..he got mad at me! saying my timing is perfect to make him feel bad about his own problem... i should not the one asking for the solution to his problem!! Argghhh!! pls. help me

It sounds to me like you're creating your own drama. Your whole post is about the problems in your relationship but there is never a problem mentioned apart from that you seem to go on each others nerves.
My advice: don't sweat the small stuff. Relax, take a deep breath and stop creating issues in your head by over analyzing each other. If there is nothing to talk, there is nothing to talk. That's just how it is. Then talk about the news you just heard on the radio or give yourselves a virtual kiss and say goodbye and talk later

**cheese_cakeblue** · September 4, 2013, 08:40 AM

Hi All

sorry for the late reply..been busy at work

Thanks for all your support, understanding and concern

SO and I are okay

We managed to have a heart to heart talk without any fights

Love you ALL

BIG XOXO to everyone

**Goyangi** · September 4, 2013, 10:40 AM

This might seem silly, but I wanted to share because it's worked well for my SO and I.
Texting is one of our primary means of communication, and since he recently bought me an iphone, we imessage a ton. Of course, with text messaging, it's easy to misunderstand, and of course, like many people, sometimes we're grumpy, and sometimes that comes off wrong in text. I was frustrated with his texting when he was grumpy because it made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

So we came up with this "emoji signal" (and in case you don't know, and emoji is just like an emoticon) where he sends me his designated emoji when he's grumpy, and a few words on why he's feeling that way. So instead of pestering him further, I react accordingly: by giving him space. Sometimes he'll want to talk about it, sometimes he doesn't. But what I've come to discover, most of the time he' grumpy about situations unrelated to me. It's also made me aware of my own grumpiness, and instead of taking it out on him, I can let him know how I'm feeling and why.

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Arrgghh! How to deal with moody SO :(

Arrgghh! How to deal with moody SO :(

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