Sitting and Waiting

[BabyGund]

We're in the same time zone and yet we do it. I'm waiting now. I know he's napping because he had an exhausting day with his mom (she exhibiting early stage Alzheimer's) and I missed his message earlier (so he was waiting on me then) because I was getting my daughter ready for school tomorrow. He'll be up soon, but in the meantime, I'm listening to music, looking for a new job near him and hanging out here.

[snow]

Sundays are the worst!
He leaves at 8PM my time to play D'n'D with his friends and comes back at 3:30AM my time and I usually stay up to talk to him which means 6 and a half hours of waiting.
On all the other days he comes home between 6 to 8 PM my time.

[MiMoSeTH]

That's what I'm doing right now, wait...
My SO is in a time zone 7 hours ahead of me, 8 hours soon. When she wakes up we can barely text for a little while before I have to go to sleep.
But the worst is in my afternoon. She has a 2 year old daughter that keeps her busy and drains all her energy, so by the time she puts her daughter to sleep she's so exhausted that many times she falls asleep while texting, mid-convo. She usually awakens 2-3 hours later to apologize and sometimes stays for a while. And if she manages to keep herself awake, she loses hours of sleep just to talk with me. I feel really guilty but we both want to talk to each other so much...
And, of course, she has to wait all the time I'm sleeping...

[CHEL]

True. Been doing this myself for a long time even though we have a time schedule to make ourselves available on line. I just cannot help myself wanting to wait and talk and see his face again. Love him lots! ... but I always think all of these will pay-off someday and be together for the rest of our lives.

[TravelingSolider]

I'm so glad I found this thread. I'm fairly new to this site and hesitated starting a new thread. This is exactly my problem! I'm new to LDRs, actually today marks our 1 month. Anyway, the relationship/friendship is very new and this time is very precious to me because it's the discovery stage. It's so important to me that we talk daily, so that I know this is for real and not some game or fantasy. I need to feel that I can trust him. But I always seem to be waiting to hear from him. Today, it'd been almost four days since I heard a word from him and finally he sent a text telling me he'd have time next week. However, that's the exact thing he'd told me last week. I understand he travels a lot (for leisure) and he's busy, but I don't understand why he can't take a moment to text a hello. It's very frustrating and it makes me at times doubt that he's serious. Again, this is a new relationship but he says he's very serious. I just find that hard to believe. I didn't even know he was traveling because he never said a word about it to me. So even when we talk he does not seem to be sharing much information with me to ease my mind. He's a man of few words. It's just driving me crazy. I hate checking my phone constantly for messages, especially when it indicates he's "online". It doesn't help that we have a huge time difference between us too. I feel so foolish. So very foolish.

[differentcountries]

We sometimes have been waiting for each other. Now we negotiate how we will have a set time each day or make apppointments each day. I will have a hard time working out before we manage to get more organized. Luckily he has a bit of time and freedom now that he is studying. When he works we only have the window between his work/working out session/dinner and midnight. And a lot less privacy. Sometimes he will be able to contact me from work though, and I love that because that is where we met.

There is never enough time with our so's...

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

I sit and I sit and I wait and wait some more...I know he is busy with family issues but why do I still wait for him to show up online? Sometimes we spend weeks before we can actually have a convo...not just leave random messages and by the time I wake up he's asleep..lol
Does anyone else find themselves just waiting for a message?

Happens all the time! I have to force myself to get offline and go to bed so I don't turn into a zombie. LOL For a long time, I turned my schedule upside down to match his, with the result that I was sleeping days and up all night. My daughter was rather upset with me, didn't know her mother had become a vampire. I'm trying now, after 4 years of this, to find the balance in my life, and still have time with him.

[infamy21]

In the past 3 months I've only chatted with my other half twice for a span of 5 mins each time. She is really busy and it doesn't help that out time zones are so different. I feel you. Just be patient.

[differentcountries]

10 min in 3 months? OMG... If it was me, I would not be impatient, I would end it.

[TravelingSolider]

In the past 3 months I've only chatted with my other half twice for a span of 5 mins each time. She is really busy and it doesn't help that out time zones are so different. I feel you. Just be patient.

Wow, after reading this I'm not going to complain anymore. Plus, my SO sent me a message today while I was away asking me if I was free to talk. Happy days!

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

Wow, after reading this I'm not going to complain anymore. Plus, my SO sent me a message today while I was away asking me if I was free to talk. Happy days!

I don't think I'll complain anymore, either. I'm pretty lucky, actually. We usually chat a few times a week, sometimes off and on for most of a day, and Skype once a month. If we could find a less expensive way than Skype, we might talk more. We went to Skype in the first place because mobile calls between Australia and the US is 0.50 per minute. With his calling plan, even Skype costs too much, and it uses a lot of data, and broadband width, especially with video calls, and we have problems with dropped calls and Internet connection being too slow. One of the joys of being in an International LDR. But I wouldn't trade him, or this experience, for anything.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

If it helps, this past year has had its major ups and downs for my SO and I. I'm a nut when it comes to "our time" each day.. I am VERY protective of what time we do have *chuckles* you can ask him too.... Being in the military as he is i know there are times 'work' will interfere.. That's when i hate it and am basically a basket case.. (it's bad when even the dog won't come near)..
Even at these times we always have yahoo and or fb msngr.. Some how some way we do talk.. One thing i know that has helped is yahoo webcams, (i know many use skype or google).. There has only been maybe three, four days at most in the past year we haven't "seen" each other.. On average we cam for about 4 hours or so each night HIS night.. I have more or less adopted into "existing" in mostly his timezone or as i refer to it as "our time".. Its really a mix of the two time zones leaning more to his.. I know this wouldn't work for everyone, but it might help some figure out what works best for them and their SO.. Of course it's not as easy as it sounds but as i said it works for us right now.. Feel free to msg me if you like..

AussiesPet

It's good to know I'm not the only American girl who turned her life, and her schedule, upside down and down under for her Aussie man. My family thought I was crazy, and they didn't like it, because I was often sleeping when they wanted to just stop in for a visit because they were in town. I have tried to get back strictly on my time zone, but it never works, so, like you, I'm blending our time zones, so I have time for a life in my zone, and OUR online life. Sometimes I still stay up chatting with him when he gets off work, and go to bed when he does, which is nice. That works fine if I know I have nothing planned for the next day, and can sleep late, but sometimes, when things come up unexpected or unplanned, I lose sleep and feel like a zombie. Thank goodness I'm retired, and don't have a job schedule to worry about. Oh the things we do for LOVE in an International LDR. But he's worth it.

[CanadianGirl]

Since I'm three hours ahead of him and he works full time (whereas I'm a student until May), I'm almost always online before he is. We always save the big/important/interesting conversations for Skype, so if I have something I really want to talk about, I'll catch myself checking if he's online pretty often. And yeah, sometimes I feel like a sad puppy dog at home alone.. Once I graduate, things will even out some.

[rj506]

(sigh) the things we do for love ...

[aojeda50]

My situation isn't as hard as yours. Right now he's been studying so much for his upcoming exams, that him and I aren't talking as much as we used to.
FOr me it was a big problem in the beginning since I was used to talking to him 24/7.
Now I have been trying to teach myself not to be so impatient with that. I don't want to feel selfish when I get angry with that. I just miss him a lot.

The good thing about that though is things go by, and soon enough you guys will be talking again.
It's temporary right?