How do you cope saying goodbye

[Tooki]

I have been the one who has been travelling to the other person.

I end up sitting on my flight feeling really empty and I'm generally out of it for a few days once I'm back home, until I get back into my routine.

[Alsfia]

I dropped my SO off at the airport roughly 10 hours ago. For me it's easier now, but maybe that is because we know he'll be here for Christmas and I'll be over in January to spend more or less 20 months together... I do feel drained but not exhausted, like when I left after the summer. It does help to know the date though, a lot

[newrytoballymena]

For me, I die a little bit on the inside. I never find it easy. I think I could be with Shane 20 years and it would still hurt. I generally listen to some music which makes me think of him. Think of the good times which we shared. My mood is always a bit lower after saying good bye. So I guess, I just let myself, feel my feels.

[kria]

I mostly cry with him the day before either of us leave. The day of I usually am all cried out. I simply can't make anymore tears, so I really have to try to stay hydrated. If I'm doing the traveling, it's not as hard because I have to keep my mind on getting from flight to flight. If I'm the one left behind, I simply feel lost and just try to do activities to take my mind off of him until I can speak to him again. Usually, I'll make a countdown chain if we know the approximate time for the next visit. Either way, it's hard, and I hate it. However, I know that, in the end, it will be more than worth it.

[I&A]

I cried so much, a day before, at the airport, driving back home, in the night when I was alone in my bed... I miss him so much

[jana89]

That is exactly what we do We already came through quite a lot of goodbyes, and it gets more and more difficult every time, but we handle it better and better. I remember first time I thought Im gonna die, I cried the night before and like a week after and it was just making it all worse. Now we just hug and go. We focus on the day we are gonna close the distance and nothing else matters

[Alii]

This is my biggest fear, the day he leaves.
My SO will come to visit me next January and even if I am doing my best to stay positive thinking about how awesome it will be to have him here, there´s still this part of me thinking that I will hug him tight and won´t be able to let go on that last day.
Reading you guys helped and I don´t want to make him sad by being sad myself.
I need to process this and convince myself that everything is going to be ok

[emsimes]

I do not handle good-byes well :/
The last day that I'm with my SO before we part is hard because I know what's coming. Although, I try to stay positive and enjoy the time we have left together. The day we part is just awful though
Ive cried (ok, more like sobbed ^^) every time we're at the airport. I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest, because all I want is to be with him.
After about a week or two, though, I get settled back into my normal routine and keep myself busy. Then I feel much better. It's all a balancing act

[Monalisa]

This one is a tough one. I usually travel a lot (My work demands it and I love it), but my ex does not travel, and he has chronic depression and he spends most of the time in his flat, he has loads of problems going to the street or public places.
This is very worrying for me, I have tried to convinced him to get medical advice, but it's been impossible. I have seen him twice, the first time was around 2010, I was at his home for a month...there is no need to say that the goodbye was awful, we cried a lot, the whole bloody day before I left.
The second goodbye was about a month ago and it was very difficult for me, I tried to cry much less, because I knew that if I started I would not stop. That time I only managed to stay for a week, and I arrived suddenly, I told him on a wednesday that I would be in his flat on sunday. Seems it wasn´t the best election. Two days before I traveled back home, he started behaving in a distant way, he stopped talking and he said that he needed a person living with him, that he's been too depressed in the last 2 years and that he knew that in the short term I would not live with him. He said that he was so desperate that if his ex girlfriend accedded to go back to live with him he would accept her. That was pretty hard for me, but I said that if that was what he wanted...he had to go for it. In the end we had a hurried goodbye, he was very anxious. When I arrived back home I realized that he cut all contact with me through facebook and skype...he sent me emails though...he said that he loved me but he couldn´t stand the pain of knowing that he would not see me again. That I harmed him, that I abandoned him...that I left a big whole in his heart. I said that my intention was to have some time together and enjoy those days, that I never wanted to harm him. He didn't understand and his messages started getting heated up, in an angry tone, he asked me to send back the keys of his house (he gave me a copy).
It's really awful, sometimes I feel guilty, but I'm just asking myself what did I do wrong to be treated badly?

[Lucia97]

Aw, I hate goodbyes too, neither of us handle them well and they usually get worse everytime, I am so happy to have found this thread because friends who I talk to don't really understand. But the countdown has officially started, he is coming here for Christmas and new year, looking forward to the hellos, not so much the goodbyes!

[conejita_hada]

Goodbye isn't easy. Tomorrow will be the third time I'm saying goodbye and getting on a plane. I'm leaving him equipped with pictures, recordings of my voice, chocolate, and tissues for if breaks down the man-wall and cries but it's going to suck for both of us. I tried singing to him tonight and couldn't get past the first part of the song without tearing up since it referenced distance. But, I'm going to try doing what I did last time and get super busy the next few days with spending time with friends and family then transition to something I need to do. Last time it was easy because I was finishing my degree. This time, I'll devote my time to grad program and job applications while also searching for jobs in his country even though it's (1) a long shot and (2) not nearly enough money to be realistic. I figure as long as I hang on to the hope of seeing him again really soon it'll be okay.

[hopefulteapot]

Wow, I'm so sorry! That must be 10x worse as you were with him longer. My guy stayed 9 days and I thought that good bye was tough! I actually had a lot of sleep walking attacks where I woke up in the middle of the night sobbing not knowing where he was. It was the weirdest thing I ever experienced in my life. It took me a week for my subconscious to realize he wasn't there and even now after several months, there have been nights where I wake up from a dream thinking he's next to me and breaking into panic when I realize he's not. It's SO hard because I love him so so much and I don't know how much more my heart can take. He can't permanently move here for at least another two years.

[mellif]

Surprisingly, when my SO and I parted for the first time on our first visit, I didn't get depressed right away-- I was just super thankful that I even got to meet him, and share that time with him. I cried a bit 3-4 hours later, when I realized how long it might be til I see him next. But it was only a little. I actually cry less from missing him now-- before it hurt more since I didn't know what his embraces or kisses felt like.

The love, excitement, and spark we felt in our first visit still encourages me now. It makes me think about the great future we have waiting for us, and the patience our love will provide for us, as it has for the past month since the visit. I can say that since the visit, our love has deepened a lot as well, and I have confidence that future visits will only solidify our feelings for each other even more.

[differentcountries]

Surprisingly, when my SO and I parted for the first time on our first visit, I didn't get depressed right away-- I was just super thankful that I even got to meet him, and share that time with him. I cried a bit 3-4 hours later, when I realized how long it might be til I see him next. But it was only a little. I actually cry less from missing him now-- before it hurt more since I didn't know what his embraces or kisses felt like.

The love, excitement, and spark we felt in our first visit still encourages me now. It makes me think about the great future we have waiting for us, and the patience our love will provide for us, as it has for the past month since the visit. I can say that since the visit, our love has deepened a lot as well, and I have confidence that future visits will only solidify our feelings for each other even more.

I did not cry much after departing from him the first time (I met him on holiday, so there was no time when I did not know what his kisses felt like). I was just thrilled and thankful. I think I got a little upset when I got home and realized I was falling in love with him, and also I felt it took too long before I could see him, but when I ordered tivkets I felt happy and thrilled again. And our next visit was so so good. What could be the problem? I was not prepared for any heavyness. If anything, I should be more prepared, right? Well, for one thing, my boyfriend started getting melecolic already a day before. I could feel him dreading that I should go away, now that he had me. The morning I left, he was swinging between happy and sad. He was way sadder than me in the airport cafee, I was not looking forward to going but stilll savouring the last of our time together like the last drop of a good wine. We were civil at saying our goodbyes. And then... once I passed the security check (and could no longer see or hear him) it was like being hit by a brick. I could not understand all the stupid people around me being happy (or rude), just going about with their "holiday" travel when I felt I had JUST LEFT BOYFRIEND, WILL NOT SEE HIM AGAIN IN FLESH IN MONTHS written on my forhead and all over my heart. It was the strangest feeling, I think last time I cried like that was when I left my home town (from which I had moved) as a little girl, not knowing when I could be back. And he was so sad he even complained to my husband about it. Our first three days apart have sucked big time. Now were are finally relaxing a bit, going into regular mode and not resenting "the screen" so much. And for me it helps to have my husband back tomorrow, though I will still need to go without bf for 4+ weeks.

Yes, our love for each other has grown stronger, and that is also the problem - we know exacly what we are missing out on and how easy and good life really could be. I guess the only positive thing one can say about goodbyes is that it makes me want to buy plane tickets and more plane tickets! I am sure I will give the airline some good income in the year to come.

[SwissIndian]

Well, This was the second time we saw each other. And he was spending 3 weeks at my place. And I must say staying back is sooooo much harder. Last time i had no other choice but to go on that plane and get home but now letting him go seems impossible. I start crying every now and then. Cause inside I hope he's coming back, walking through the door and says joking i am staying with you. I feel like someone took all my energy away. All my heart. I feel like a dead person right now. Just waiting for him to land which apparently takes another 8 hours . I hope with the time it gets easier to say goodbye or see you soon. Because this just hurts so bad