How many times have you met before tying the knot?

[Dziubka]

Actually in some countries there are. Like here for example, you have to give the government a month's notice before your intended date of marriage. You can't just rock up to the registry office and get hitched like it's vegas

And I'm not judging you Andy, I'm sorry if it came across that way.

Poland is the same (in case anyone planned on getting married there).

I think getting married for a visa is perfectly fine, but getting married on the first visit does definitely sound like a bad idea. Like the others said, even if you two work out, then it's still going to look fishy on your visa application. Do you want to risk that?

[lucybelle]

Btw, to a lot of you saying - we lived together for x number of years before that... Well, like I said, none of us could just simply "move in" together because visa laws won't allow it for over 1-2 months each half a year, if lucky.

On second note, I work as much as I can, however there are certain circumstances out of my control. Please guys, don't try to make it sound like I'm not working hard enough before actually knowing anything about me. It also sounds very conceited when at the same time you write: "we worked hard, but we were lucky parents helped out etc...".

I understand however, if it is 100% going to lead to a refusal for residence then yea, there is no point to risk ruining everything.

My parents didn't help out with money, but they were supportive of the idea.

Look, I would never get married before living with someone. So we made it our priority to live together. Not all couples can do that, and some couples simply chose not to. And that's whatever. But getting married on the first visit is not only a bad idea relationship wise, it's also a bad idea visa wise. I'd recommend at least 3-4 visits before getting married. And go the full 1-2 months! It will build a better relationship and better proof for the visa down the road. I'm currently applying for my SO's visa to the USA, one of the goddam hardest countries to get into, I know a lot about building proof. You don't want to get caught short-handed. Would it be a 100% no? Probably not. But why risk it?

[differentcountries]

I think in my country you could theoretically get married on the first visit. You would have to bring documents from your home country to prove that you are not already married, and your fiance would have to provide those as well (could take a couple of weeks), and you would have to announce/apply for marriage in advance as well. That being said, I bet the immigration people will not like the look of it, and perhaps deny marriage because they think it is just a pro forma relationship - an "mail order bride" to get acress to a richer contry.

It sound very hard with your money. I would say make your darling pay! If she has the money it takes for the two of you to see each other, let her do it. Get practical.

[snow]

I don't think there is a minimum visit requirement to make a relationship seem real, but I do think that getting married on the first visit is going to look very suspicious. I don't really know much about the visas in Europe if you're a non-EU member, so I can't really help you on that, I just know that it's not easy to get into the country if you're not already a EU member - especially in Austria, some people live in the country for several years without knowing if their stay is approved and then they get declined and have to leave the country. It's pretty awful.

I get that you don't have money, I do, but you have to understand that being with someone in person is so much different than being with that person through the internet. You really get to know someone when you spend time with them in person. Some people on here have to save money for YEARS until they meet each other and you shouldn't get discouraged about that. Save what you can and share the expenses.

For us, we're going to get married on my 4th visit. First one being 11 days, second one 2 and a half months and the third one 3 months, so we know what we're getting into and have plenty of time to collect proof that this relationship is real.

[Engel]

We were a little over 3 years together when we got married.
We met online october of 2008, in person december of 2008, with me returning to my country in february of 2009. -1st travel to see each other
I visited him middle of 2009 for a month. - 2nd travel to see each other
I moved to Germany begin 0f 2010, when we had been dating for one year. - 3rd travel to see each other, only this time it wasn't just a trip, I moved countries
In 2011 I had to spend 3 months in brazil in two occasions (totalling 6 months) and he visited me there both times. - between me and him there were 4 more trips to see each other during that year.
We got married in february of 2012, after lots of time spent in person.


I would not recommend you getting married on the first visit. My friend did that, after dating the guy for 3 years (!!!) online. After one year married they are divorcing.

Each case is a case and you know your relationship better than any of us, but I highly recommend time in person before such an important decision. You only truly get to know someone after living together for a while in my honest opinion.

I wish you the best of luck.

[Phantomrose]

My SO and I got married on our second visit, but we were together for five years before that. We met online around the beginning of October in 2007, met in person in February of 2010, and got married in February of 2012. Before we got married, we had a long discussion about marriage, and how we both felt about it. My SO and I agreed that it felt like the right time to get married, and that we were fully committed to the relationship. After we got married, I visited him in December 2012, and then around the middle of August of this year. Both visits were about a month long, and I stayed at his house during that time. Now, we came to an agreement that I would be applying for his green card to live in the US, hopefully by around June/July next year.

However, with that said, I think it is a bad idea to try to get married right away on your first visit. It does sound a bit suspicious to be doing something like that, and you will need a lot of evidence for the visa, after you get married. You will have to provide a lot of proof that you are in a legitimate relationship, and that it is not just for purely getting a free pass into the country. I also agree that you have to understand that being with someone in person can be different than being with them online.

[kria]

I have a friend got engaged to her SO after the first visit, which was about a week long. At the time, they had been dating for about a month, and had known each for approximately a year. By the time they get married, they will have dated for a year, known each other for two years, and have met around three times (the wedding will be the fourth time). I think it's crazy, as do many others, but as long as she is happy. She also plans on moving to his country, which she has never been to.

[Lucky]

Andy, it would help if you mentioned your ages and which country you are from. All I know it's that your girlfriend is american and you have yet to meet her for the first time but you want to marry.

First of all, do you already have a visitors visa? if not, make sure you meet the requirements to get one, depending on your situation this might be easy or nearly impossible. IT IS CONSIDERED FRAUD IN THE USA if you enter on a tourist visa with the intention of getting married, that is what the fiance visa is for. Depending on your age and background you might be able to get a student visa or work visa instead if tourist visa is not possible.

I am mexican and my husband is american, we met in person once and we moved in together on the second visit while we were planning the wedding. I know it sounds very fast but that is how it happened for us, feel free to ask anything about our relationship, I will be happy to share.

Does she has the option of visiting you? it might be cheaper on you both even if you pay for the expenses together, depending on your country it might be easier to marry over there too.

I will not judge, but do keep in mind that the fact she is from a wealthy country and you from a poor one doesn't necessarily mean she is rich and you are poor, so just make sure you guys are being realistic with what you can afford.