How long do you stay?

[differentcountries]

Thank you for all your replies! I think I will go if I am sure I have the money for it. Right now I am trying to be sure I have money for his travel and accomondation in January. He said if I go to him soon I will only have to pay the picket price as he will fix accomondation. I am expecting some big money coming on but it could come tomorrow or in half a year, I do not know, so I have to watch my money.

haha, I am not the most romantic of girls, but this whole LDR thing is making me super sweet... My SO commented upon that last night; "Are you usually (aka with others) this romantic in a relationship?" and I was like: "NO!" I don't recognize myself (my sister was like that when she met her husband). He says the same has happened to him and that we are making each other more romantic. Ah, distance CAN be very romantic, but only up to a point. I think I will appeal to my bank account...

[aniay]

The first time I traveled there was for a weekend. But since then we've been visiting for a week, when I stayed for two weeks it just felt WAAAY harder to part.

[differentcountries]

We do weekend trips all the time. Well, I do as I visit more often - he tends to save his days off and then come for like a week at a time.
Mind you, we're relatively close, there's a direct flight with a low-cost airline and flight time is only 2 hours. However, flight schedule is not so good for us so the weekend visit is never just the weekend for me, I have to take at least Friday off too, and usually Thursday as well.

I figured out in the beginning that for us it's better to do shorter but more frequent visits than to wait for a while and then do a longer one. I think it's really worked for our relationship. However, the longer we're together, the more I think we should be having longer visits now even if it means not seeing each other as often. It's just that lately those 'love you and leave you' visits seem to make us both feel sadder than no visit at all.

I see where you are coming from. Well, flight is a little bit more than two hours... actially that part of Turkey is in Asia. And flight time depends on weather or not I can get a direct flight or if there are stops. A direct flight takes about 5 hours (plus shuttle time). I sure as hell do not want to stop for hours in Ankara just for a weekend visit Ticket fare/charter fare depends on time of year, right now I discovered that a low cost company has rejently started their own charter deals there... oh my

Since our relationship is quite new I thought it could be good to visit often (although breif) in the beginning, as so to feel that we actually HAVE a relationship. Later on it might be better to make stays longer if possible. I hope to be able to spend a lenght of time with him in summer, as I have at least 5 weekes summer holiday. Next year I also hope that he will be able to stay in my country longer for winter, maybe even stay here to study. But now that is so far away it might as well be just a dream! So my mind and money foucus on the next few monhts

[TwoThree]

When I visit him in Finland I usually stay ten days to two weeks. My longest visit was 17 days. I can't take more time off work, which is a shame.

When we go on short trips together (which happened once and will happen again in a couple of days) it's usually four or five days. But it's ok because so far tickets to Germany have been dirt cheap.

[differentcountries]

Oh I would love to go somewhere with him... I am not sure if there is any point as of now though. Uless we get very cheep tickets there is little money to save by meeting "halfway", that would only mean bying 2 tickets instead of 1 and possably having to stay at a very expensive hotel. At least in Turkey he will know what hotels are cheep and might even be able to borrow a room for some days. Anyhow, I just discovered that my favourite low fare flight company (that I usually use for national flights) have a low fare calander that also can be used for international flights as well. I never knew... We are such intexperienced travellers the both of us... I can not belive I found a boyfriend abroad, I hardly ever travel outside Norway...

[Phantomrose]

When we first started with the visiting, he would come to the US for about two weeks, and we would try to do it about once a year. Now, when we visit, we try to make it about a month or longer (4-6 weeks.) The last two times I visited England, I stayed for about a month. It was for the holidays from Dec-Jan 2013, and then from Aug 24th-Oct 1st 2013. Our next meeting will most likely happen in September. Hopefully, it will be more permanent though, if everything goes as planned.

[hopefulteapot]

9 days the first time and it will be 9 the second as well. We're not rich enough to afford more than that and my work is very strict with my vacation time so 9 days was the absolute maximum I could take during the holidays (he's coming the 30th of December). I wish I could have more time with him. I have severe health issues (depression and severe debilitating exhaustion from chronic insomnia) but if they ever go away, I plan to travel to him for 2 weeks each time even if he has to study/work.

[differentcountries]

Thanks for more replies I did go after all! I spendt a total of 4 days in Turkey (well, 2 whole days and then 2 days half travel, half stay). It was really, really good almost all the time and I don't regret going. I felt that I should have stayed longer, but I really had to be ready for work the next days and he was already behind on his studies (his first exam is in a week), so maybe it was for the best after all!

I was satisfied with the ticket price, I got a good price even if I bought less then a week before. I bought a single trip travel insurance that is quite expensive, but before next trip I will buy a year round travel insurance which will cost less for each trip. I also bought a visa that I can use for multiple trips until the end of May. I saved a little money (indirectly) on buying tax free stuff (stuff I would have bought here anyway). We was lent a room by his friend, which I think was super cute and all his flatmates were so nice so I never even thought of staying in a hotel instead (but when his work season starts I will have to get a hotel). Most nights we just stayed at home which was probably a good idea since he inisted on paying for everything (I did not even want to buy souvinirs since he would probably have insisted on paying for those too).

He is coming for 10 days in January, hopefully in the begining, but he is only coming in the beginning of the month if his exam next Saturday goes well (otherwise he will have to study more to take it again). If he is coming by the end of January I am considering going over there in the beginning myself (unless that will kill his studying).

For the cheap tickets I am getting, the thing seems to be to go on a Saturday and come back on a Tuesday. Saturday is not a problem, but I am not sure I can continue to get 1-2 days off from the work week. Another option is going on a Thursday - then the weekend will be longer, but I would still need to go back on a Tuesday which will only enhance the problem. There are other tickets, more suitable for a "real" weekend off, but they are more expensive. I think if I had lots of money I would not think twice about it, I would consider even changing flights in Istanbul.

Still, the problem with having SUCH a nice time together is also getting used to having to leave. It really kills you to go from total intimacy to having to communicate in front of a screen. Especially that is when he has to focus on exams. In a way, it is better when he is working because his days then are very predictable (and he has more money). But when he is working I will have to hang at his work place if I want to have some time with him before the evening.

I am really looking forward to him coming there, it will be the most days we have ever had together (10 days) and I guess we will be making some decitions about the future in that time...

[differentcountries]

I am wondering, has any of you gotten suspicous looks in the customs of your so's country for going there too often? Because of work I can not stay so much at a time, apart from the holidays, but I may negotiate with work so that i can go every 4-6 weeks. I worry a bit that customs may se a pattern. It will maybe not be believable if i say i am visiting friends...

[conejita_hada]

I get questioned by US customs every time I go to Guatemala now (the Guatemalans don't seem to care) but there is a high-rate of drugs/money transfer between the two countries so I constantly get questioned by the US customs as I am leaving for Guatemala. I figure I'll just be honest with them and I let them know I am visiting my boyfriend, he's a university student and planning to be an engineer and then I laugh at their question about if I am carrying over $10,000 in cash, tell them I wish I had that much, and they tell me to have a good trip. It's happened the past 2 times since over the course of this year I had 4 different trips to/from Guate (starting with my first ever in January, so I understand the suspicion).

Just be honest and candid, like with all suggestions for customs. At this point, visas aren't in the mix and I don't know about specifics between Norway and Turkey but I'll guess that Turkish customs don't expect you to overstay illegally and if they do question, are probably worried about other activities.

[differentcountries]

I will expect Norwegian customs to be the most suspicous, of my so that is. He has to deliver a detailed visa application to show he does not intend to stay etc. I just have to pay a visa fee and show my passport! Still I guess questions can be asked.

[differentcountries]

Now we are looking at monthly visits (me going to Turkey), very likely we will live together (our own little flat) and hopefully I will get to stay a week or more each time. The direct flight is back, which costs less and makes the trip shorter. Things are changing fast... In the fall, after his season ends, we will try to get him here on tourist visa by invitation. Then hopefully we can spend December together in my country.

[Sanja]

The first time I went to visit my SO, it was a three day weekend trip. The second time, it was 9 days. Both trips went by too fast, especially because of delayed flights that had me arriving several hours later than scheduled. I enjoyed both of my visits and wouldn't mind doing it all over again, even if only for a weekend.

[Suuz]

Im glad you had a good time when you were there!
As you know, my boyfriend lives in Turkey too, and we did some weekend visits sometimes. But in the end, it was only making it harder for us, so we decided to stop that. It was so hard to arrive there, and knowing you will have to leave again in 2 days. We always had an amazing time, but it was twice as hard to say goodbye again, after such a short time! Now we just save our holidays and see eachother every 3 months for 1 or 2 weeks!

And about the questions, i dont think they really care. I travel to Turkey every 3 months for almost 2 years now, and they never ever questioned me. As long as you have a valid visa they dont really care And same for him when he's coming to Norway. He visited me 4 times in Holland, with the same visa issues as you have in Norway, and they always ask him the same questions. He is just answering them, without lying, and they always let him pass. They know that he wouldnt have a visa if there would be something suspicious about him

[differentcountries]

Thanks, Suuz! It is exactly because the weekend trips are growing harder that I want to make them into weeks, instead! . I will still have the usual public holidays that I guess I will use to see him, too, but then I will try to bring my husband as well, otherwise me and husband get no holiday together and the boys don't get to see each other. My boyfriend does not really have a holiday, he is just layed off when the season ends (October/November to February/March) and then he does odd jobs, studies and sees his family. The holidays (1 week in February, 1-2 weeks in April, 4-5 weeks in July, 1 week in October and 2 weeks in December) are fixed in my job; we close whenever people go away on public holiday, since we run a centre aimed at the public. The week a month will be in additon, but it will also be real working/studying time for me - he will be working, too (including weekends), so it will be very "daily living"; time will tell if we like it! It will be a test of living together, 1/4 of the month (plus holidays).

I worry a bit more about the visa now that I plan coming every month for a week or more, but if they ask I will just tell them it is for my studies, which it will be. My boyfriend was supposed to come here this spring, but his visa application got denied - we will apply again in fall with my husband or myself giving a gurarantee.