She changed somehow...

[Assad]

Hi this is my first post and first thread. I hope u guys can help me out on this because it hurts me alot .

So to start my story; I met her at the end of July 2013 when I was playing a videogame (kinda a childish game but so what), we started talking (chatbox) and in the beginning I wasn't sure if she was a girl because a year before I met her, I'd met someone in the game and that person claimed to be a girl, but I found out that person was a guy and I was just devastated...

Anyway, this girl told me she really was a girl and so I believed her and after a week or two we talked on Facebook, things got interesting and she gave me her number, and we just talked everyday on whatsapp, now since mid August we started skyping and videochatting (though we live 6000km from eachother and live in different timezones 6+ to me to be exact), in the time that we skyped and talked we talked about everything a couple can imagine; our thoughts about: life, work, hobbies, friends and family, babies, houses, dogs, cars, anything there is to talk about, and mostly we think alike and we have fun when we skype.

So have been seeing eachother for like 4 months approx. and to make a long story short, she has changed, she acts differently somehow, like one month before she was all open to me, and even wanting to share facebook passwords, and a few days ago I did, and now she doesn't want to and I said I thought u wanted this, she's like saying no I never said that...
I really don't get her at times why she acts like that, okay I know females have that time of the month thing, no offence, even respect they can go through that kind of stuff, but it isn't that time of the month and she is all weird, she used to say alot of 'I love you' and that she misses me and wants to skype and see me, nowadays she doesn't text me that much and to be honest,
she is 6 hours behind in her timezone, and I stay up real late even till 3-4-5 sometimes 6 am to just be able to get a glimpse of her, everyday... until it drove me cranky, and she said I was cranky because I stay up for her... eventually she said she was tired of skyping me all the time, she is tired of skyping because we did it so much, though yesterday we skyped for 3 hours straight with her xbox one (she games sometimes) and I know she had fun and still she says she's tired of skyping...

I told her I do so much effort to actually see her, also I just die inside when she doesn't say I love u back or doesn't give kisses back on skype in front of someone, she says people make fun of her when she does, but if she loves me, that all doesn't matter right?, she said she really loves me, and I really don't know whats happening with me, I'm so much in stress and just thinking all day, not knowing what to do or think, I do love her alot and don't want to lose her because she has so much love for me only its like her environment is holding her back from showing love in the public or in front of someone else, I'm kind of going crazy and this is the first time I had this kind of relationship.

I hope u guys have some thoughts about this, anything is welcome, for additional information PM me, because I don't like to just post private information publically.

Thanks alot for reading and I hope u guys can read what I wrote down, I did my best as English is not my maternal language, sorry about the grammar or punctuation though.

Thanks in advance!

[differentcountries]

First of all, don't give away your passwords for anything. Please. It is just not a good idea.

Second, it sounds like a good idea to skype less if you get tired physically and she gets tired mentally. That does not mean that you care less for each other, it can even mean that you care more, because you realize that the other person has got a life beside hie/her love life with you.

I would probably not kiss on skype in front of someone. A kiss is intimate, and it seems strange to an outsider. Don't hold it against her that she is uncomfortable. Why not send a virtual kiss?

Get some sleep. If you have lots of things to say to her, make it into a video, then she can watch it when she is awake and perhaps give a reply.

[Assad]

First of all, don't give away your passwords for anything. Please. It is just not a good idea.

Second, it sounds like a good idea to skype less if you get tired physically and she gets tired mentally. That does not mean that you care less for each other, it can even mean that you care more, because you realize that the other person has got a life beside hie/her love life with you.

I would probably not kiss on skype in front of someone. A kiss is intimate, and it seems strange to an outsider. Don't hold it against her that she is uncomfortable. Why not send a virtual kiss?

Get some sleep. If you have lots of things to say to her, make it into a video, then she can watch it when she is awake and perhaps give a reply.

Thank you so much for replying!!

So now, should I change my password? What if she's like why did u change it now? I don't know what to answer to her then.
And I guess its true about the kissing part... I'll keep that private and instead send a virtual one.
And probably making a video is nicer than staying up real late.
Thanks for helping, I appreciate it alot! I will use the tips.

Thanks!

[squeeker]

Hey there! I just wanted to add that I agree that I wouldn't take it personally if she doesn't want to send a kiss to you in front of other people. I still get kind of nervous "kissing" my boyfriend on video call if someone else is in the room. Though sometimes I do it without thinking because I'm so used to talking to him without thinking of that because usually no one else is around now.

I wouldn't worry about changing your password unless you feel she would use your account maliciously. But if you trust her, it's okay. Though just make sure you 100% trust someone before sharing passwords. My boyfriend knows some of my passwords and I know some of his but we only use them if we need to access something for some reason, and usually it's always when the other person knows.

I think it's a good idea to cut the video calls back a bit if you are getting cranky. I know my boyfriend often stays up late anyways so I get to talk to him more even though he is 8 hours ahead of me. He doesn't really get cranky, though I sometimes do if I was thinking he was going to go to sleep earlier so I put off doing things til after he went to sleep but now I need to get them all done! lol

It might be why she feels you talk too much.. she might feel like she doesn't have enough time for the things she has to get done. I wish you luck!

[Fretboard_Magic]

So now, should I change my password? What if she's like why did u change it now? I don't know what to answer to her then.

Is sharing passwords with your partner a necessity? Like, is there a specific reason for it? Being open with each other is a really good thing, but that doesn't mean you have to make every aspect of your life accessible to your partner. Complete transparency doesn't necessarily mean there's a high level of trust because, really, in that case everything's already out in the open so there's no need for trust, only acknowledgement. Trust means that you trust the other person even when some aspects of their lives aren't clear. I'll go so far as to say, ESPECIALLY when they aren't clear. How you achieve this kind of trust is through quality communication where you two really bond with each other. It's not about making every piece of information available to your partner so they'll trust you; it's about not having to do that to gain trust. So, if you change your password and she says something about it, you can just tell her that, I suppose... *shrugs*

[Assad]

Hey there! I just wanted to add that I agree that I wouldn't take it personally if she doesn't want to send a kiss to you in front of other people. I still get kind of nervous "kissing" my boyfriend on video call if someone else is in the room. Though sometimes I do it without thinking because I'm so used to talking to him without thinking of that because usually no one else is around now.

I wouldn't worry about changing your password unless you feel she would use your account maliciously. But if you trust her, it's okay. Though just make sure you 100% trust someone before sharing passwords. My boyfriend knows some of my passwords and I know some of his but we only use them if we need to access something for some reason, and usually it's always when the other person knows.

I think it's a good idea to cut the video calls back a bit if you are getting cranky. I know my boyfriend often stays up late anyways so I get to talk to him more even though he is 8 hours ahead of me. He doesn't really get cranky, though I sometimes do if I was thinking he was going to go to sleep earlier so I put off doing things til after he went to sleep but now I need to get them all done! lol

It might be why she feels you talk too much.. she might feel like she doesn't have enough time for the things she has to get done. I wish you luck!

Thanks for replying, yeah the kissing part I got that right now, I know its something personal and hard to do in front of other people. And yeah I'm trying to cut back some video calls and as differentcountries said, making a video is what I'm going to try now. And I trust her, she went on my facebook to change my profile picture to a picture she liked the most and she even said look how many likes your getting and such, so I'm not going to change my password, she is not going to do anything malicious.

Thanks for the response!

[Assad]

Is sharing passwords with your partner a necessity? Like, is there a specific reason for it? Being open with each other is a really good thing, but that doesn't mean you have to make every aspect of your life accessible to your partner. Complete transparency doesn't necessarily mean there's a high level of trust because, really, in that case everything's already out in the open so there's no need for trust, only acknowledgement. Trust means that you trust the other person even when some aspects of their lives aren't clear. I'll go so far as to say, ESPECIALLY when they aren't clear. How you achieve this kind of trust is through quality communication where you two really bond with each other. It's not about making every piece of information available to your partner so they'll trust you; it's about not having to do that to gain trust. So, if you change your password and she says something about it, you can just tell her that, I suppose... *shrugs*

I guess sharing passwords isn't a necessity, I just wanted to change her profile pic like she did to my profile, but I don't care about it anymore, we are really open but yesterday night she acted even more distant to me =( a month ago she wanted to send something for christmas, and I replied hold on I got to think about it ( which was very stupid, I didn't want her to spend money on me), yesterday I asked if she wanted something for christmas and she said no, and it sucks so much to hear that...

[Lucky]

a month ago she wanted to send something for christmas, and I replied hold on I got to think about it ( which was very stupid, I didn't want her to spend money on me), yesterday I asked if she wanted something for christmas and she said no, and it sucks so much to hear that...

Personally I don't feel comfortable receiving gifts unless it's from a relative or friend who is as close as family, accepting a gift from a man interested in me is like accepting his advances, in my country at least. Yes she is a woman and you are a man, but you did not grow in the same environment, are you in the same country? is there a language barrier? this could lead to misunderstandings.

Another thing is, a gift doesn't necessarily has to cost anything. Maybe she was not planning on spending any money on you and you hurt her feelings, could have been a letter for all you know. Asking what does she want specially when things are not going so well might put her in an awkward position, don't make her feel like you are buying her!

I think you need to give her some space, relax and try to distract yourself reading or doing something you used to do before you met her, that way next time you talk you will have something to talk about and it will not feel like a chore. If she is already a bit cold on you, pressure will only push her away.

[Assad]

Personally I don't feel comfortable receiving gifts unless it's from a relative or friend who is as close as family, accepting a gift from a man interested in me is like accepting his advances, in my country at least. Yes she is a woman and you are a man, but you did not grow in the same environment, are you in the same country? is there a language barrier? this could lead to misunderstandings.

Another thing is, a gift doesn't necessarily has to cost anything. Maybe she was not planning on spending any money on you and you hurt her feelings, could have been a letter for all you know. Asking what does she want specially when things are not going so well might put her in an awkward position, don't make her feel like you are buying her!

I think you need to give her some space, relax and try to distract yourself reading or doing something you used to do before you met her, that way next time you talk you will have something to talk about and it will not feel like a chore. If she is already a bit cold on you, pressure will only push her away.

Hi Lucky,
I think ur absolutely right about this, I'm so happy that I can get advice like this... I never had a relationship like this before so this is so helpful... Thanks for helping me out!

[alli.efeelink]

Distance may create beauty,yet distance may also a real barrier between two hearts. Just communicate as often as you can ,it maybe a good helper!

[Assad]

Yeah, its all much better now thanks alot all of u, and its true it creates beauty. I'm so happy
Wish everyone alot of happyness !