Stuck, love sick, my bf loves me and I can't find a way out

[stormy]

That is a lesson I will remember and apply! I don't want to feel like that again ^^

Hm... So there is a possibility for me to visit my boyfriend tomorrow where he stays, for the day. He is asking me if I really want to do that, if I feel confident and if I will not be sick. I told him I can't promise anything and I can't say that... I am extremely anxious about seeing him. It doesn't make me feel confident and happy, it stresses me out.

He came to Europe to visit me so I feel even more guilty, stressed. He doesn't want to be sad, hurt again and I don't want to do that to him either. I don't know what to do... Should I visit him taking the risk to be sick again in front of him and hurt him?

If I don't visit tomorrow it means that his stay is ending very soon and that he will either have to come back to with me, either stay at his friend's. His friend start working and will let him alone in the city and here I will have my classes. I don't know what's best ! I haven't figured things out perfectly I am scared I don't see him and I regret that forever, or seeing him and be sick and depressed again...

I feel the need to be direct... Are you sure that you are not just using this as a way to get rid of him? Are you sure that your are not over exaggerating this some how? At first I was not sure how others could think you were trolling, but I must say this part is more suspicious.
You're in a LDR with someone, who is right now in your country, but you have chosen to not see them... I am not sure why you or he would even bother at this point? From the outside looking in this just seems like a really messed up way of breaking up with someone once you see them face to face and realize that what you thought was there isn't and it is freaking you out that he traveled so far to be with you.

Of course I could be wrong, but if I were him, that's exactly what I would think. Especially if you didn't see me again while I was there.

[Sole]

Thanks for the answer,

I just want to be completely honest : I am not a troll. Now I don't know how to prove this. I'm real. My situation is also real, and I don't mean to bother anyone by posting. I'm just lost.

"Are you sure that you are not using this as a way to get rid of him?"
Hmm what exactly is 'this' ? I guess I am making excuses to not see him cause I don't really want to. I guess being all sick for a week made me afraid that it happens again.


PS. I'm sorry do you mind editing and erasing the city name that I wrote ? I didn't pay attention I wrote it. I'd like to remain somehow anonymous.

[lilcupcake]

i think it's possible that the awkward feeling of finally meeting him overwhelmed you and made you sick, and you feel like you dont want to see him again because it stresses you out.

However, if you can honestly say you just don't want to see him, break up with him. If you really just don't want to be around him, I'm not sure why you haven't broken up with him. I don't think you're a troll, i just think things didn't go as planned and you aren't sure what to do now.

[stormy]

Thanks for the answer,

I just want to be completely honest : I am not a troll. Now I don't know how to prove this. I'm real. My situation is also real, and I don't mean to bother anyone by posting. I'm just lost.

"Are you sure that you are not using this as a way to get rid of him?"
Hmm what exactly is 'this' ? I guess I am making excuses to not see him cause I don't really want to. I guess being all sick for a week made me afraid that it happens again.


PS. I'm sorry do you mind editing and erasing the city name that I wrote ? I didn't pay attention I wrote it. I'd like to remain somehow anonymous.

City? What city? ;-)

I guess my question was reffering to what lilcupcake just said about not wanting to see him, so break up. I does really seem as if it just was not what you were expecting and now it feels all sorts of out of hand. It happens, I think the best we can do is just try to end things without causing more pain than is necessary. (If that is the case.)

[lilcupcake]

It's important to remember not every relationship lasts, even if you go through the trouble of an LDR. Sometimes it just doesn't work.

For a cheer up, you could try listening to my break up song. It helps. "another one bites the dust: Queen" Although my current SO is the first person ive actually been attached to in years, so ive always shrugged off break ups in this playful way lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC1xJJpwlu8

[Sole]

Thank you for all that support. Thank you very much.

I finally ended things. I skyped him because I was not confident about going to see him at all. He preferred this way, he didn't want me to force myself to go. I cried a lot and he did a bit. We had a good conversation and we talked and he ended up being rational and me emotional, we talked about how much it was difficult since he was very good to me and I was to him and we didn't have any couple problem except that I just happened to lose my feelings. He left with a smile on his face and he looks like he is going to be alright. I just made him suffer too much by making him wait but he is released. And so am I.

Thanks again, I found comfort in all of your messages. I like getting help on forums from strangers with other perspectives because my friends and family were giving interesting advices but they were usually not well adapted (some told me to force myself and stay with him anyway) except for few of them.

And thanks for the words and the cheerp up lilcupcake that's lovely.

[lilcupcake]

I'm glad things went smoothly :] best of luck with the next one! but don't rush into it ;]