Ladies: any of you traveled to see your SO first?

[crownmequeen]

Hi there,

My bf and I are discussing who will be the one traveling to see the other. I would love to go to England and I have family there. I'm just a little afraid going to a brand new environment alone.

Any thoughts, opinions and advice would be more than appreciated.

[kittyo9]

I did. We wanted him to come here first, but the embassy wouldn't give him a visa, so we had no choice. I ended up going to Peru by myself. I'd traveled on a couple international trips before (in Europe), so I was kind of used to that, but never alone. Everything turned out fine or better.

[snow]

I was the one who did the travelling! I never had a problem with it and I knew it made more sense, since he has his own apartment and that meant I had a place to stay, without having to pay for it.
I have to admit that it was a big step for myself! I have never done anything that big by myself, but it was well worth it and I grew from it

So if you have family down there and therefor a place to stay I would suggest you go first :P

[TooFarAway]

Haha that's funny xD I was just talked about this with my SO.
Most likely I'll be sneaking over to my bae hopefully this summer ;I
I'm scared too ;-;

[innocentbutterfly]

I did. Tho that LDR has ended now...

anyway, at least I conquered that fear of flying and I proved to myself I can go alone somwhere. It was 1st time for me. (tho there were talks with my ex he always excused it, paying ticket for me in the end kind of throwing all on me) I was too nervous. But I'm glad at least for that experience, tho I wouldn't do it again. I promised myself if I start another LDR the guy will come 1st , because that 1st time also proved me that I was the one who was in relationship 100% when he was like 60% and by the time I went back home everything changed leading to breakup. Not to mention he didnt even have intention to visit me like ever, only if we married (his words)

[squeeker]

I flew to see my boyfriend first. It was a big step for me because I had never been on a plane really (except a small one for a field trip when i was younger, but it only flew over the city lol!) and I had never been very far by myself, probably could even say I hadn't been out of the city by myself. I was 20. I got myself a passport around my 20th birthday, and saved up money that summer, and bought a plane ticket for 2 weeks to meet him. It was SO WORTH IT! We were both so nervous. I remember feeling nervous and excited and the excitement was winning out and I just wanted to meet him.

He has an even more intense fear of flying, which went further than my fear that I had simply because it was new and I had never done it before. He has (though is currently over halfway through some counseling/CBT to help him) OCD and PTSD so these have affected him so he gets scared of the flight, especially since a direct flight is 9 hours and he has to sort of give control over to the pilot. We have discussed other ways he might come to Canada in the future.. and as said, he is currently also getting help for his anxieties.. so one day he will be able to come to Canada and meet everyone here face to face in person and I can show him things around here.

But in the mean time, I have traveled there, and I really do love the UK. I think a huge part of that is because of him. But also just the general interest in England/British things even before I met him. I get so excited over anything related to the UK really... even if it is just London! lol

I think you should try and fly to him.. you even have family there so that should help relieve some of your anxiety, that small nagging part of your brain that tries to tell you that something might go wrong. And it is a real fear, because I don't know how much you have talked to your SO and how long you have been together, and how often you video chat/etc, but things do happen and you have to be careful. But you also would have to be careful if he came to see you. I think that you should pick the one that is easiest/makes the most sense. If they are both equally as attainable, then maybe go by which has the cheaper tickets when you want to go, or best airline, or roll a die.. either way.. the main point is that you get to meet him! So.. good luck trying to decide and have a great first meeting! I hope everything goes well.

[Moon]

I did! I'd always wanted to travel to Europe anyway, and I'm the bolder, braver one in the relationship, so why not? If I'd waited for him, I might still be waiting (kidding, sort of). I still do most of it, I love to travel, whereas he finds it annoying.

Yes, the UK is a bit different from the US, but it won't be a completely strange place, we have plenty of similarities, you'll be fine.

[differentcountries]

I went to se him first. Granted, I had visited the area before because I met him there on holiday. But then I travelled in a group. It was my second travel out of Europe alone trip. For some reason I had not asked for his adress, which made me nervous a couple of times. Apart from that I felt fine. They say all you really need on a travel is passport /visa and money. I was a bit nervous about staying with his friends, and thought if things went sour I can always get a hotel room, but they were very sweet to me the entire stay. If you have not been to the UK before, you might get a travel book or a travel app or read up on it online. And talk to your so about details, that will make it easier to plan and to travel.

[NerdyChick]

I flew to see him first. Flying to England was a bit scary the first time, it was the first time I had ever been on a plane, let alone to another country. My only advice is plan, not just the ticket, but packing too. Also have his address (or hotel address) for the customs form and be ready to answer customs questions like how long youve been together, how you paid for the ticket, what you do for a living, and bring your itinarery with your return ticket to show you have intentions to head home after. The truth is, the flight was always the hardest part, but once I was back with my SO it was all okay. Even through it was a different country, he was there and that made me feel much more comfortable and more at home. He was home from University, so we actually stayed with his family on my first visit. That was comforting too, his family made me feel so welcome. Don't worry, traveling to England may seem overwhelming, but it's just the flight and customs, after that it's a wonderful place to be and experience. I had a fantastic time and I hope you do too. That first visit was overwhelming, but being able to hug my SO for the first time made it all worth it The visits after that won't be as frightening because you'll know what to expect. Good luck!

[BabyGund]

I flew to see him in Canada and I'll be going again in April. But I travelled a lot for business in a previous career so I don't really have a huge issue with it.

[folclor]

I traveled to see him first ^^ I'd only flown once before (and that was before 9/11 so security was super freaky) so I was very nervous ^^; I actually didn't tell them I was there to meet someone. I said I was there to visit a university and see if I wanted to go there. That was true, but each subsequent time I haven't told them I was seeing a boyfriend, I told them I was visiting friends. Customs gets oddly angry if you mention a significant other ^^;

[Ejoriah]

I did for my first LDR (not this current one). I was 17 and went alone on a 12h flight to the UK, then took a train for another 6h. It was so worth it! Gave me oodles of self-confidence.

[80anthea]

I did but I'm the one who has done the most travelling, before I met my SO, he hadn't even been out of his state for more than a day; in contrast I went on my own to Uganda age 22 and have a global family so was used to the jet set lifestyle

[Steph89]

I did... I was the one who suggested we meet up first so I think it's only right that I went. I'm so glad I did though, I was absolutely terrified of flying, a 2 hour flight to Spain was bad enough for me so going 8 hours and then having to get another connecting flight for an hour was horrible(especially when they lost my luggage when I got there!!) However now I can say I have overcome my fear of flying and I was so proud of myself. I think it really takes guts to be the one to make the first trip!

[Verojoon]

I visited him 4 times before he came to see me once. Living arrangements wise him visiting me should be easier, but he has all sorts of issues with his passports that just makes it more practical for me to visit him most of the time...