Stale communication

[amamai]

This is probably one of many communication topics.. however my issue is not so much lack of communication..

We talk everyday..but it's just so boring now.. It's the same sort of conversation..Unless we talk about stocks and the price of gold.. or paleo (things he's interested in..where i have to be enthusiastic)..then the conversation blows..

I'll start conversation about something random and all i'll get is "oh" "i see"..
something big happened the other night .. i told him a bit..not much (expecting him to ask me further) he never did..
There's no banter either.. we rarely laugh together.
In some situations i'll tell him something and he'll take it the wrong way.. so when we do talk i struggle to know what i can/cant say without some reaction.

The most thrilling the conversation gets is when we argue.. and that's a terrible thing to have.

A long time ago I found this 1000 questions thing for couples.. but then during a fight he said he didnt give a **** about the questions so that put me off too..I can ramble on for days about something stupid but then when he only replies with "oh" i feel deflated..

I've got to the point now where I'm replying like him.. I've lost enthusiasm for even trying to talk because its never anything interesting.

I thought in these situations where communication is all you have..that you'd have the ability to talk about anything and everything.. instead i seem to talk more to people i see daily.

Any suggestions would be great..how to relight that conversation spark..Or even to know anyone else has been thru this and got out the other side.

Many thanks.

Ama

[differentcountries]

Talk about stuff he likes to talk about, or something he didn't even know he would be interested talking about. Explore. Have him ask you questions, I am sure he has stuff he wants to know. Flirt and talk about sex if you are comfortable doing that. Talk about when you first met and how that felt. Talk about the details you miss or long to explore. Plan your next meeting. Exchange pictures. Make him meet your friends online and meet up with his. Make up a joke or a fantasy (one of mine is I am inventing a machine that will make me crawl out of Skype to see him, he asks me with a smile why I take so long inventing). Check the advice given on the main Page. My so yawns at the idea of a Skype sleepover and we don't game, but he loves scented love letters, the 52 compliments/deck of cards and other ideas I got from here. There is something for everyone.

We have all been through stale conversation, and it may be worthwhile to do something new. You can both cobtribute with suggestions, and then try them out and see what you like.

[Kitten_mittens]

I think talking less often can help with that greatly. And this thread could be useful > https://members.lovingfromadistance....unication-Tips

[piratemama]

Try this article I posted in this thread: https://members.lovingfromadistance....unication-Tips. It's got great ideas. Also, find some questions online for couples or dating. There are many out there. My SO and I love asking each other questions. We'll try to find something in the news and ask the other's opinion. Try playing games together, too.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

With mine, it never fails to get his attention when I send him a photo and quote from the Facebook pages I like, sometimes one of the flirty ones, and personalize it with a message for him. I like to do that with our first chat of the day. I also send him links to articles on things we are both interested in, and that will start a discussion, or sometimes, a debate between us. The game, 20 Questions is fun, and we can share things we haven't talked about before. I've bookmarked the List of 103 Fun Things for LDR Couples, from this site, and have started doing things with that. I also send him selfies from my web cam, and he enjoys that. And he sends me photos of places he goes during the day. We enjoy just talking about our days and bantering back and forth.

[Alsfia]

Tell him how you feel. You are right in that since communication is about all we have we should be able to talk about anything and everything. Be careful with how you bring it up though so you don't sound accusing, focus on "I feel"-statements and don't gelt carried away into a fight.

[amamai]

Thank you everyone, I had a talk with him.. and he seems serious in trying to better communication.. so we'll try these different things.. again in some cases.

Thank you all x

[ukusa]

Try asking him more questions... like have you seen this movie? how do you feel about... or send him a link to a funny youtube video that may spark conversation about something random, and hopefully get you away from having the same predictable conversation.
That happens with me and my bf a lot, i've recently been trying to spark things up :P
good luck!

[stormy]

Have you tried just telling him how you feel about this? This week I was a bit like that with my SO... one word answers and the like. It was because of my own personal issues arising insecurities in me/our relationship. Once he pointed out that he noticed and was worried, I opened up, which has led him to be very sensitive to how I was feeling.
To me, it has shown me that he's will to work to keep us together. We're still working through it but I feel it has brought us closer.