Webcam, is it mandatory ?

[Benni]

Not mandatory but it sure makes a huge difference!
B and I were together for 4 months before we got cams/Skype. What a difference it made! We were both shy at first, then we started relaxing and having so much fun on skype! I wouldn't want it any other way.

[jana89]

If you meet online, than it is necessary to webcam. But I met my SO personally and we only Skyped once in the whole time we have been together and we have no problem with that.

[snow]

I think if she doesn't want to video chat with you she should tell you and not just ignore your request.

[Blaine]

Blaine i am ok with you, webcam is not 100% reliable but i think it is the best way we have without meeting.
Personnaly, I have no doubts about my gf sincerity but i think, webcamming is a way to feel closer of the personne than you love and to know more about her. Photos are nice but they are not natural, she click them herself, on webcam attitude is more relaxed so you can capture expressions, gestures and foibles of the other.

For sure. Webcam can definitely help strengthen a relationship and provide more feelings/experiences than simply texting or talking on the phone. I can definitely agree to that, however, I wouldn't classify it as "mandatory."

[BagOfPenguins]

I think you should definitely do it, like the others said, to make sure she is who she says she is. I understand the problem with the english though, so maybe if it gets too difficult you could write instead of talk while still on cam. I do that with my SO a lot when the internet connection is acting up and the voice quality is too bad for us to understand each other.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

It makes it more real, and a lot more fun! The first time we got on cam, we were shy for a minute or so, and then we started getting playful, comparing our hands, making faces like kids, blowing kisses to each other, and giggling and laughing (we sound alike), and we couldn't stop smiling. Web cam is also fun in other ways, such as eating lunch together, watching sports or movies together, even going to the mall. The article on this site, 103 Fun Things for LDR Couples, has some great ideas for using Skype/web cam and other technology. Of course many couples who have been together online for awhile, find more intimate ways to use web cam, too.

[TwoThree]

My own experience: I had been talking online with my SO for a couple of years before we officially got together, and from that date to the day we met in person, nine months had passed. Not once did we video chat. We talked on the phone plenty of time, we even skyped a couple of times though neither of us owned a webcam, we exchanged several pictures, and he sent me one in which he was wearing a scarf I had sent him as a Christmas present. Basically I flew to Finland to stay for ten days with a guy I had never seen except in picture.

In hindsight, that was very, very stupid of both of us. If my daughter would pull crap like that I'd probably take away her passport until she she does the right thing and demand a video session.

I don't think video chatting is important for an online relationship to work, not at all. We worked just fine without it. But we live in a world where people are out to get other people, and it's only reasonable to just make sure that people are who they say they are.

OP, you trust your girlfriend to be who she really says she is, which is awesome. But I think you need to figure something out in order to see her before you fly to her. If only for two minutes.

Also something people don't necessarily want to think about: Pictures are not reliable to assert physical attraction. It's easy to just send "nicer" pictures to someone. And then what would happen if upon meeting you realize that the other person doesn't really look like that and you don't like how they look? It works both ways. I know that love is not based only on physical appearance, but I think it's an important part of it. Video chatting would give each other of you an idea of what the other looks like in the flesh.

[François]

It is my first LDR, I have never travel out of France alone before and I flew only one time. I am already stressful about the travel logistic and I think I wont go their without seen her in webcam before, even if it is during 2 minutes, cause that should give me more stress. So I agree with you TwoThree, even if I have no doubts, zero risk does not exist and all confirmation ways should be used before going alone in the other side of the world.
I really think it is a good way to feel closer each other, and this is my first motivation, but if she wont, i wont obligate her, and if she really love me, i think, she will understand and allow me those two minutes.

[kittyo9]

If your SO is considering getting a webcam then it sounds like she's open to the idea and I would definitely try to do it (maybe remind her some day soon that you'd love to see her over video chat). I don't think it's necessary, per se, but I do think it's a great way to connect and to ease some uncertainties. I think it does bring another element of life to long-distance relationships.

My SO did not have a webcam until I sent him an inexpensive one about a year into our relationship. I used to ask him to take pictures with his cell phone, though, so that I could see him and verify that he was who he said he was.

[François]

This is a last post to close the thread.

As you may have noticed, whatsapp was not working saturday night. It was an opportunity for us to test a new chat application (to continue our conversation). So we installed Line and we had the fantastic surprise to discover that this application allows you to make worldwide audio and video calls for free. What we tried immediately and since we call several times a day cause it really help us to feel closer.

Thank you for your advises and comments.

Be happy
François