Hello there! 
After googling "How to deal with a long distance relationship" (yes, I'm really desperate sometimes) I found this website and decided to make an account. The imagination of talking to people who go through the same pain of missing their partners, etc. and being understood really made me happy.
So I'm not quite sure why I am making this thread in the first place. To be honest, I just really want to write down my story, my worries and problems and hope to find someone with similar thoughts to talk about it, get reassurance or maybe even solutions. I'm gonna try to keep it short, but I can't promise anything!
I am 19 years old and met my boyfriend on a video game. Neither of us was looking for a relationship. I was in a deep depression, staying home from school and spending my days on the internet and in my own thoughts. We started talking, first about the game, then we exchanged Skype and started talking some more, first only on chat. After a month or two, we called each other for the first time. I am a very shy person, and the first call was super awkward - but the second one was already wonderful. We just "clicked" and it was so much fun to talk to him. Another month or so later we started talking about me visiting him. He lives in the USA, I live in Europe. My family had planned a trip to America later that year and I thought we could meet up. But the more we talked (daily for hours, for months), saw each other on webcam, met our parents on webcam etc (haha), the sooner we wanted to meet. And so I booked a flight to America in the Summer, three months earlier than my family's trip. I have relatives in America that I could have stayed with if there would have been nobody on the airport, huge catfish etc.
But when I arrived on the airport, my boyfriend (he had asked me out about 3 weeks earlier), his friend and his mom were waiting for me. A few hugs and some sweaty-hand holding later we were sitting in his car, on the way to his house.
However, I have realized that I can't write down our story in such detail :'D What I can say though - in those two weeks we were together, we grew a strong bond. After a really depressing year, he really was my little light. When I was back in Europe, we kept talking. The distance was already hard then, but nothing compared to now. Looking back, I fell in love with him somewhere between my first and my second visit, which was two and a half months later. He met my parents and my brother and i spent another wonderful two weeks with him. In December, i went to visit him for a third time, this time for two months! I am starting a new school and therefore had some long holidays. It wasn't an easy two months - he's struggling with his mental health, too, and we had quite a few breakdowns which ended in us holding each other crying. I have often said that it would be better for both of us to have a mentally stable partner, but now it's too late, we're already in love. Even though we had our downs - we also had some awesome ups. New Year's Eve was the best I've ever had. We had so many adventures and I am really sure that I have found my soulmate. I don't trust any person in my life like i trust him, and there is nobody that understands me blindly like he does.
Going back to my home, my depression hit again. Whenever I'm with him, it stays in the background. I can do stuff, I have energy, a healthy sleeping schedule, I laugh a lot and I don't drown in thoughts. Without him, that is really hard. I miss him extremely. Sleeping alone is hard, and I can't deal with it very well. I get mad at my friends who complain about seeing their boyfriend once a week, when I wont be able to see mine for god knows how long (at least 4 months).
What really bothers and depresses me the most, is our future. You've probably started to wonder why he's never visited me. He's an illegal immigrant in the USA and can't leave the state. Even though he has been living there for almost his whole life, pays taxes, and went to school, he has no green card or anything. That he hasn't met my friends, seen my house, or even seen where I grew up makes me so sad sometimes, but I can't change it. He's also financially struggling. Growing up with his mom and younger siblings, his mom works every day in a low paid job to be somehow able to get them food and a roof over their heads.
We don't know what our future looks like. My boyfriend can't work, since he has no work permit. He's currently applying for the Deferred Act, which will give him that, but it required lots of documents and also money which he doesn't have, but I'm positive that he will be able to get it sometime this year. Then he'll have to work to be able to afford college. I have another 1.5 years of school left, then I can go to University. I've thought about going to his city for Uni, but I honestly don't know if I want to be educated in English, because my English isn't perfect. Also, my roots are in Europe, and I would miss my family horribly. The main point though is, that here I would get college for a fraction of the prize that American education costs. We've looked into him coming here, but as an illegal, getting a visa would be super complicated. He also doesn't speak the language of my country, so going to University here would be even harder for him. Immigration laws are super complicated and he couldn't even become a citizen of my country by marrying me (yes, we're so desperate that we've even considered marriage at this young age).
Do any of you have experienced something similar? I just feel like life is so unfair. The only good thing that has happened is me getting to know him (which is unbelievably wonderful). But it seems that I have to "pay" for that luck now in obstacles and "spits in the face".
Other than that, I also have the "normal" long distance relationship worries - what if we grow apart, what if this is all just too hard to handle, occasional arguments...
I would be extremely thankful for some responses!) If you took the time to read all this, you're really awesome.
After googling "How to deal with a long distance relationship" (yes, I'm really desperate sometimes) I found this website and decided to make an account. The imagination of talking to people who go through the same pain of missing their partners, etc. and being understood really made me happy. So I'm not quite sure why I am making this thread in the first place. To be honest, I just really want to write down my story, my worries and problems and hope to find someone with similar thoughts to talk about it, get reassurance or maybe even solutions. I'm gonna try to keep it short, but I can't promise anything!
I am 19 years old and met my boyfriend on a video game. Neither of us was looking for a relationship. I was in a deep depression, staying home from school and spending my days on the internet and in my own thoughts. We started talking, first about the game, then we exchanged Skype and started talking some more, first only on chat. After a month or two, we called each other for the first time. I am a very shy person, and the first call was super awkward - but the second one was already wonderful. We just "clicked" and it was so much fun to talk to him. Another month or so later we started talking about me visiting him. He lives in the USA, I live in Europe. My family had planned a trip to America later that year and I thought we could meet up. But the more we talked (daily for hours, for months), saw each other on webcam, met our parents on webcam etc (haha), the sooner we wanted to meet. And so I booked a flight to America in the Summer, three months earlier than my family's trip. I have relatives in America that I could have stayed with if there would have been nobody on the airport, huge catfish etc.
But when I arrived on the airport, my boyfriend (he had asked me out about 3 weeks earlier), his friend and his mom were waiting for me. A few hugs and some sweaty-hand holding later we were sitting in his car, on the way to his house.
However, I have realized that I can't write down our story in such detail :'D What I can say though - in those two weeks we were together, we grew a strong bond. After a really depressing year, he really was my little light. When I was back in Europe, we kept talking. The distance was already hard then, but nothing compared to now. Looking back, I fell in love with him somewhere between my first and my second visit, which was two and a half months later. He met my parents and my brother and i spent another wonderful two weeks with him. In December, i went to visit him for a third time, this time for two months! I am starting a new school and therefore had some long holidays. It wasn't an easy two months - he's struggling with his mental health, too, and we had quite a few breakdowns which ended in us holding each other crying. I have often said that it would be better for both of us to have a mentally stable partner, but now it's too late, we're already in love. Even though we had our downs - we also had some awesome ups. New Year's Eve was the best I've ever had. We had so many adventures and I am really sure that I have found my soulmate. I don't trust any person in my life like i trust him, and there is nobody that understands me blindly like he does.
Going back to my home, my depression hit again. Whenever I'm with him, it stays in the background. I can do stuff, I have energy, a healthy sleeping schedule, I laugh a lot and I don't drown in thoughts. Without him, that is really hard. I miss him extremely. Sleeping alone is hard, and I can't deal with it very well. I get mad at my friends who complain about seeing their boyfriend once a week, when I wont be able to see mine for god knows how long (at least 4 months).
What really bothers and depresses me the most, is our future. You've probably started to wonder why he's never visited me. He's an illegal immigrant in the USA and can't leave the state. Even though he has been living there for almost his whole life, pays taxes, and went to school, he has no green card or anything. That he hasn't met my friends, seen my house, or even seen where I grew up makes me so sad sometimes, but I can't change it. He's also financially struggling. Growing up with his mom and younger siblings, his mom works every day in a low paid job to be somehow able to get them food and a roof over their heads.
We don't know what our future looks like. My boyfriend can't work, since he has no work permit. He's currently applying for the Deferred Act, which will give him that, but it required lots of documents and also money which he doesn't have, but I'm positive that he will be able to get it sometime this year. Then he'll have to work to be able to afford college. I have another 1.5 years of school left, then I can go to University. I've thought about going to his city for Uni, but I honestly don't know if I want to be educated in English, because my English isn't perfect. Also, my roots are in Europe, and I would miss my family horribly. The main point though is, that here I would get college for a fraction of the prize that American education costs. We've looked into him coming here, but as an illegal, getting a visa would be super complicated. He also doesn't speak the language of my country, so going to University here would be even harder for him. Immigration laws are super complicated and he couldn't even become a citizen of my country by marrying me (yes, we're so desperate that we've even considered marriage at this young age).
Do any of you have experienced something similar? I just feel like life is so unfair. The only good thing that has happened is me getting to know him (which is unbelievably wonderful). But it seems that I have to "pay" for that luck now in obstacles and "spits in the face".
Other than that, I also have the "normal" long distance relationship worries - what if we grow apart, what if this is all just too hard to handle, occasional arguments...
I would be extremely thankful for some responses!
) If you took the time to read all this, you're really awesome.
My SO has never gotten to see where I'm from either and it does suck. Luckily, his country has pretty lax immigration/visa laws so I moved here to be with him. After some time, we got married and now I'm a citizen of his country. Eventually, we'll be moving to my country (USA) on a spousal visa. My situation is also complicated because my SO spent much of his childhood as an illegal immigrant in the US and he has a small juvenile criminal record. It (hopefully) won't make the spousal visa impossible for us, but it does add some extra hoops to jump through. 
Nothing you can do about it though. Just have to try to be strong and plan your next visit. Or make him something you can send over the post to suprise him!
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