Thanks to everyone who was reading and chatting on the communication post I started a few days back. Your comments have been really helping me through the past few hours. Those of you who were following it will know that it took a turn for the worse. I figured I'd start something more aptly named now as I'm in sore need of some advice and help working through my thoughts and keeping it together.
Quick background:
We've been together on and off for a year and a half but avoided getting into something official and exclusive because not only do we live on different continents but he is away at sea for months at a time.
Two months ago we made it official (in person, we'd been with each other for 3.5/5 months of the year) and finally exchanged 'L' words, which we'd both been feeling for quite some time. Then he left for his next contract. All good for the first month, plans to get together in the new year, even received a really thoughtful postcard. Then he started to get a little quiet on me. We saw each other briefly a couple of times and he said things were ok, he was just tired. Last saw each other about three weeks ago, he was being a little odd. Withdrawn. Then I left and have heard almost nothing from him since. Knew something was up....tried talking to him but just got 'Tired and a lot on my mind, yes things are ok with us'.
Then not a single word for three days until he left me last night.
He says the distance is too much for him and he hates not being able to spend more time with me. Assured me that he loves me but he is at a point where he needs so see where things lead him (sailing career) without 'strings' attached. Said he hated to have to do this but didn't want me to be waiting for him all the time and hardly ever seeing him or even knowing when I'd get to speak to him.
So apart from trying to keep myself together and remember that bodies are sustained by food and not wine....my dilemma....I honestly do not know whether or not this is the right decision. I'm completely torn between thinking he is making the right decision for us in the long term, or thinking that we had a chance to be happy and should fight for it. He never told me how he was feeling, just shut me out and made this decision for the both of us without a word to me that anything was wrong. I feel we've not had a chance to try and see if we can make this work together.
Any thoughts / advice would be greatly appreciated, folks. Do I simply let him go, or do I talk to him and see if he can be persuaded to give us a fighting chance to make it work? .....I just really don't know what to do. Or how either one of us is meant to get over this. 24hrs ago my world fell apart. Where does someone go from there?
Quick background:
We've been together on and off for a year and a half but avoided getting into something official and exclusive because not only do we live on different continents but he is away at sea for months at a time.
Two months ago we made it official (in person, we'd been with each other for 3.5/5 months of the year) and finally exchanged 'L' words, which we'd both been feeling for quite some time. Then he left for his next contract. All good for the first month, plans to get together in the new year, even received a really thoughtful postcard. Then he started to get a little quiet on me. We saw each other briefly a couple of times and he said things were ok, he was just tired. Last saw each other about three weeks ago, he was being a little odd. Withdrawn. Then I left and have heard almost nothing from him since. Knew something was up....tried talking to him but just got 'Tired and a lot on my mind, yes things are ok with us'.
Then not a single word for three days until he left me last night.
He says the distance is too much for him and he hates not being able to spend more time with me. Assured me that he loves me but he is at a point where he needs so see where things lead him (sailing career) without 'strings' attached. Said he hated to have to do this but didn't want me to be waiting for him all the time and hardly ever seeing him or even knowing when I'd get to speak to him.
So apart from trying to keep myself together and remember that bodies are sustained by food and not wine....my dilemma....I honestly do not know whether or not this is the right decision. I'm completely torn between thinking he is making the right decision for us in the long term, or thinking that we had a chance to be happy and should fight for it. He never told me how he was feeling, just shut me out and made this decision for the both of us without a word to me that anything was wrong. I feel we've not had a chance to try and see if we can make this work together.
Any thoughts / advice would be greatly appreciated, folks. Do I simply let him go, or do I talk to him and see if he can be persuaded to give us a fighting chance to make it work? .....I just really don't know what to do. Or how either one of us is meant to get over this. 24hrs ago my world fell apart. Where does someone go from there?
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