I don't wish to derail that other thread so I thought I would make a new one on the related topic and my experiences with closing the distance in another country.
Take about life's interesting turns. We got here, it's been a over a week, and for me it is yet again another country outside of USA, already pretty homesick, for him, it is his first time leaving his country for long term. He was somewhat miserable this last week. Having been the one to mostly leave USA during our time, I have gone through this several times, it feels different when you know it is not just a vacation. He misses his apartment, his cats, and his family and friends. Life here has not been super since we got here. They keep moving us around hotels, and we are going to 2-3 viewings a day and the stress of new job plus being away from our kitties and he got sick and looked like a broken puppy. I am not instantly in love with another new place here either. I am so tired of being a "visitor" everywhere and living out of suitcases.
We stuck it out and took one day off from it all and just were "us" and I found a decent short term rental to relax and take our time to find our long term place. I bought a pay as you go UK smartphone and finally I have something that is mine and local. We found a couple really nice potential long term ones in areas we both like much more than where the hotels have been and a cute pub that serves excellent food for a reasonable price. We are greatly looking forward to having a kitchen again and cooking our own meals and a separate living space from the bedroom. We have applied to two long term ones and have our fingers crossed but having the short term means we have a bit more time. I think we made it through the worst of it.
It was hard to do, but in the end. We just would have been devastated by being apart so we were able to tolerate being pretty miserable to get to this point. In a few months, once the long term let is obtained, and he can then get a UK bank account, and he can get some time off work, I will leave here and we will get married. Once back we will stay here till one of us gets a solid enough job somewhere else in either NL or USA (or perhaps somewhere else) to meet immigration rules again. He knows that if he wants to go back to NL, all he has to do is work here until his obligations are fulfilled and then find a job that meets NL IND full spousal requirements.
I will go anywhere with him in the world because as sad as I might be to go through these changes, adjustments do happen and then you work through that and in the end the most important thing to me is, I will be with him. As hard as it is sometimes, we have learned to stop for a day when needed and just enjoy each other and try to remember this is all still a part of our adventure together making our life what it will become in the future.
I won't be changing my status here till after we get married, because until then I am here on a visitor visa and if something hits a glitch, I could end up in USA away again until we marry. I am watching my time closely and plan on getting out of UK before 90 days are up whether it is to go get married or go sit in USA and wait. If it all works out and he can get the time off work with next two months then we won't have to part, but if not, it would be for last time and hopefully not too long.
On a total Belfast note:
The people here are amazing. Some of the friendliest people I have ever met in any country in my life. Everyone, cab drivers, hotel staff, waiters, people on street you ask for directions from....everyone. They say the word "wee" a ton, and that is no stereotype, takes some getting used to. We have been nervous about picking where to live because the locals have warned us from certain areas and for various certain reasons. Taking a long term let in a problem area would greatly affect quality of life so we are trying to balance budget and location along with amenities. His new job has been great about putting us up in hotels and extending his hotel time here and letting him off early to go to viewings. He has met some very nice new international co-workers and I have met a few of them. The taxis here are abundant and quite cheap and Belfast is small enough if you are willing to walk a lot, you can get around on foot between several BT zones as well. We have looked at some neighboring towns that are close by train in Holywood and Bangor as well. I think we can make a nice home for ourselves here for awhile. We can't wait to bring our furry babies to our new place once we get a long term let. One the four of us are together, then it will really start to feel like home.
Take about life's interesting turns. We got here, it's been a over a week, and for me it is yet again another country outside of USA, already pretty homesick, for him, it is his first time leaving his country for long term. He was somewhat miserable this last week. Having been the one to mostly leave USA during our time, I have gone through this several times, it feels different when you know it is not just a vacation. He misses his apartment, his cats, and his family and friends. Life here has not been super since we got here. They keep moving us around hotels, and we are going to 2-3 viewings a day and the stress of new job plus being away from our kitties and he got sick and looked like a broken puppy. I am not instantly in love with another new place here either. I am so tired of being a "visitor" everywhere and living out of suitcases.
We stuck it out and took one day off from it all and just were "us" and I found a decent short term rental to relax and take our time to find our long term place. I bought a pay as you go UK smartphone and finally I have something that is mine and local. We found a couple really nice potential long term ones in areas we both like much more than where the hotels have been and a cute pub that serves excellent food for a reasonable price. We are greatly looking forward to having a kitchen again and cooking our own meals and a separate living space from the bedroom. We have applied to two long term ones and have our fingers crossed but having the short term means we have a bit more time. I think we made it through the worst of it.
It was hard to do, but in the end. We just would have been devastated by being apart so we were able to tolerate being pretty miserable to get to this point. In a few months, once the long term let is obtained, and he can then get a UK bank account, and he can get some time off work, I will leave here and we will get married. Once back we will stay here till one of us gets a solid enough job somewhere else in either NL or USA (or perhaps somewhere else) to meet immigration rules again. He knows that if he wants to go back to NL, all he has to do is work here until his obligations are fulfilled and then find a job that meets NL IND full spousal requirements.
I will go anywhere with him in the world because as sad as I might be to go through these changes, adjustments do happen and then you work through that and in the end the most important thing to me is, I will be with him. As hard as it is sometimes, we have learned to stop for a day when needed and just enjoy each other and try to remember this is all still a part of our adventure together making our life what it will become in the future.
I won't be changing my status here till after we get married, because until then I am here on a visitor visa and if something hits a glitch, I could end up in USA away again until we marry. I am watching my time closely and plan on getting out of UK before 90 days are up whether it is to go get married or go sit in USA and wait. If it all works out and he can get the time off work with next two months then we won't have to part, but if not, it would be for last time and hopefully not too long.
On a total Belfast note:
The people here are amazing. Some of the friendliest people I have ever met in any country in my life. Everyone, cab drivers, hotel staff, waiters, people on street you ask for directions from....everyone. They say the word "wee" a ton, and that is no stereotype, takes some getting used to. We have been nervous about picking where to live because the locals have warned us from certain areas and for various certain reasons. Taking a long term let in a problem area would greatly affect quality of life so we are trying to balance budget and location along with amenities. His new job has been great about putting us up in hotels and extending his hotel time here and letting him off early to go to viewings. He has met some very nice new international co-workers and I have met a few of them. The taxis here are abundant and quite cheap and Belfast is small enough if you are willing to walk a lot, you can get around on foot between several BT zones as well. We have looked at some neighboring towns that are close by train in Holywood and Bangor as well. I think we can make a nice home for ourselves here for awhile. We can't wait to bring our furry babies to our new place once we get a long term let. One the four of us are together, then it will really start to feel like home.
the first few weeks in a new country can be brutal if you don't have a place to call your own. The great thing is that you don't have to worry about learning a new language (apart from the occasional "wee", pun intended) and that means you can go out and find new friends and things to do! My advice would be to find a meetup or something, and preferably something that is not limited to expats. It might sound counter-intuitive, but wherever you are only surrounded by people who immigrated somewhere (and their local fan-club of people who hate their own country), it can get a little negative. On the other hand, if you find a group of people that share your enthusiasm for something - music, photography, crafts - that includes locals too, then the atmosphere is completely different. Good luck!
take a deep breath, you got this! Maybe it would help if you were to write down your plan - what you have to do, dates to keep in mind, etc. - and then take a few days off, just to walk around and enjoy. I might be wrong, but I am worried that you risk burning out if you don't give yourself a break!
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