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    why have i changed

    Me and my SO just spent a amazing six weeks together, this was our second visit, first time was in December for four days that was our first meeting but this time after six weeks I've become bitter and angry I still love him more then anything but I can't seem to stop being angry/sad depressed when ever he goes out , I have no clue what's wrong with me because I do love him. I just seem to get mad because he handles being away from each other better then me. Maybe I'm a nutcases. He is in Canada and I'm in Australia so we have a huge time difference as well

    #2
    Some just deal with distance in different ways. To him going out is probably away to distract himself and takes his mind off it. Maybe that might help you too. In saying this, it doesn't mean he's not finding this distance hard too. Are you fighting over him going out? It's ok to feel sad when he goes out.

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      #3
      Originally posted by Redheart14 View Post
      Some just deal with distance in different ways. To him going out is probably away to distract himself and takes his mind off it. Maybe that might help you too. In saying this, it doesn't mean he's not finding this distance hard too. Are you fighting over him going out? It's ok to feel sad when he goes out.
      we argue a lot he has been home only two weeks and we have almost ended us at least ten times already mostly because of me arguing or being mad, I feel as though he doesn't care or doesn't hurt (wich I know is silly) when he can just be happy every day while I'm broken and sad and we mostly argue when he goes out, I'm becoming a horrible person

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        #4
        You are just in morning. It was the first time you spent more than a weekend together and you feel sad you are not together. You are looking for someone to blame, and there he is. It will pass once you get into the routines of your old life.
        I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
        - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



        "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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          #5
          Originally posted by missaussie View Post
          we argue a lot he has been home only two weeks and we have almost ended us at least ten times already mostly because of me arguing or being mad, I feel as though he doesn't care or doesn't hurt (wich I know is silly) when he can just be happy every day while I'm broken and sad and we mostly argue when he goes out, I'm becoming a horrible person
          You recognise your actions as negative so the next step is to take control now or your worst fear will be realised. Control your thoughts and actions. Tell him lovingly that you are having a hard time dealing with the distance and ask him to be patient with your unreasonable behaviour as you are adjusting to being away from him. Get busy with friends, hobbies (make new ones), work/study etc. He's living his life...go live yours and be happy that he's chosen to be with you. Nobody likes to be nagged or to be made to feel guilty when they've done nothing wrong.

          All the best
          Met Online : July 2013
          Met in person : April - May 2014 (3 wks)
          2nd visit : June - August 2014 (2 months)
          3rd visit : December - Jan (2wks)
          Proposal : December 2014
          Closed distance : February 2015
          Married : April 5, 2015


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            #6
            It's normal to get a bit low after a trip. Although everyone handles it differently. I had a really bad down spike I won't say I got depressed, but I was close to it (I have had medical depression in the past). The first month after I came home I was really low and cried a lot. I'd even cry when he said goodbye. We never argued, but he dealt with it much better than I did because he deals with things in a different way. As time has gone on it's gotten easier in some ways and harder in others. But I know we are only 2 months from seeing each other now. We are halfway through our wait.

            You can't blame him for wanting to go out and do things and you know what the problem is. Just apologize to him and explain you are having a hard time as Petals said, that was really good advice.

            What I am saying is I understand how hard it is, but you really need to pull yourself together and get out and do things that make you feel better. Time zones are a nightmare but you did it this far, you can do it until you can next see each other. Good luck.
            Engaged Dec 2015!! Visa approved June 2016 . Married July 18th 2016 <3

            Home is where the heart is and my home will always be with my love.
            All the way from England to the USA.

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              #7
              Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
              You are just in morning. It was the first time you spent more than a weekend together and you feel sad you are not together. You are looking for someone to blame, and there he is. It will pass once you get into the routines of your old life.
              Exactly, because of the time difference when he is going out at night, its morning there and you wish you could be out enjoying the night instead of having to get up for work while its still party time there.

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