Have to wait almost a year

[Petals]

Thank you. Love makes you blind sometimes. I see good things for us, but I know relationships are hard no matter what the circumstances. Men are from Mars,women are from venus etc etc

I hope this post means that the responses in this thread are finally sinking in and you do plan to be a bit more cautious and just let time reveal all, instead of predicting the future. I have a friend who has just submitted her finance visa application for the US. They haven't had many visits, but they have known each other for a few years. Please be aware that immigration laws/procedures are ever-changing, so what applicants have done a few years ago may not apply now in its entirety.



Don't be stubborn and defensive...LISTEN

Goodluck!

[TwoThree]

Quite the contrary, only a complete idiot wouldn't see us as a legitimate couple that wants to be together. The US denies legitimate people and allows access to terrorists every week.

This is a very interesting thing to say. I assume you have evidence to back this claim that the US immigration authorities knowingly grant visas to people with ties to terrorist activities, right? I very much would like to see any data you have. Basically what I want is to make sure you just didn't state something akin to "the USA keeps letting all sorts of filthy Ay-rabs and Pakis in, knowing that they hate our freedom and are only here to blow shit up and destroy America". So please, enlighten me?

i COULD GIVE DR PHIL A RUN FOR HIS MONEY. FACT.

Holy mother of God. You did not just say that.

[Miasmata]

Dr. Phil is a scammer who literally only got a job as a TV life guru because Oprah liked him. He does have a degree in psychology, but he retired his license to even practice psychology in any legitimate fashion. He presents himself as a legitimate doctor, but on the other hand says he only provide entertainment, not actual psychological advice. If he's your role model when it comes to this, and you also think that very outdated, sexist sayings like "men are from mars, women are from venus" are accurate in any fashion, please look for better sources. Seriously, there is a lot of bogus for your buck out there, and none of it will help you lead a successful relationship. Treating women as individual human beings of equal worth and applying common sense goes a long way.

[fredwiggy]

I'm going back in September,she was thinking of us getting married in Thailand, I was thinking fiance visa,marrying here. I'm documenting everything,including what will be a year long facebook message, which if read by most people,will let them see we are a serious couple wanting to be together as a family, and not an arrangement. I've talked to three immigration lawyers and all have said you can do it either way,fiance visa being the easiest,and I can get a sponsor to take up the slack in my income. I've even considered moving myself to Thailand,where I'd be selling my house, and making enough profits so I can ship all my belongings including my truck,and having enough money for a large down payment on a decent house in Isaan, where I know she has to own 51% of it,which is ok by me. The marriage route would work,but I would have to leave and then work on her and her daughters visas,which would be granted a lot quicker since we would already be married legally in Thailand. They can't stop her from coming to the US if we are married, but it does take time also I understand this. Either way, either she will be living her or I'll be living there.

[Petals]

They can't stop her from coming to the US if we are married, but it does take time also I understand this. Either way, either she will be living her or I'll be living there.

You are 100% wrong on this! If THEY determine that your marriage is not genuine then they will prevent her from entering US. I know of cases where people are living in separate countries because their spouse visa has been rejected by immigration and they are trying to overturn the decision.

Gone are the days when marriage means automatic access/citizenship for foreign spouses. YOU have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that your marriage is genuine.

The way you talk about the Facebook messages that will be written in the future sounds so forced and contrived! It's like you are planning to do and say certain things rather than allow things to happen naturally...but go ahead...it is your life and...your mistake too!

Luckily for you it's so cheap to sponsor spouse for USA as oppose to the $7000 that my husband and I are paying for Australia. Cheap sponsorship for you, but probably an expensive mistake.

[snow]

I have a question, what language do you guys communicate in? Do you speak Thai or is she speaking English? I know of a couple that got rejected because they didn't have a common language = her English wasn't good enough to communicate in and he didn't speak Thai.

But, I have been through the Fiancée Visa and the evidence you keep pointing at is not enough. What you need is pictures with family and friends, itineraries, plane tickets, letters, etc. etc. If a facebook chat would be enough to prove that I have a relationship with anyone, I could easily fake that with any of my friends and that is exactly why you need all kinds of other proof, because the people who work at USCIS know of all these tricks.

I've been through the interview and while it wasn't hard, because we have a legit relationship, anytime I would halt, the consul would make a mental notice that there might be something up and ask a follow up question.

I always feel like people who get engaged on their first trip and then want to go the Fiance Visa route are taking the easy way out without realizing that if you don't know enough about your partner, you might lose out on a lot of money. You keep saying the visa money you have covered, and yes, $430 for the visa is not a big deal, but that's only a portion of the fees you have to pay. Your SO going to have to cover the medical exam which is $225 + $200 for shots (unless she has them all) + a stupid amount of visa pictures (that you have to get over and over cause everyone needs 4 pictures) and once you're in the US, you have 90 days to get married and come up with $1010 to cover the Adjustment of Status fees that you have to file within 90 days as well.

[TwoThree]

You still haven't addressed my question about "Terrorists".

I'll wait.

[fredwiggy]

I was just saying that when they see the evidence I already have and will have, they should understand we are a legitimate couple trying to have a family. Yes, a lot can fake things, but a smart agent can decipher all the evidence and would see that the conversations we are having, yes she speaks ok english and is going to school to learn more, as is her daughter, are two people in love and not some bogus contrived thing just to get someone in the country. And, I know that thousands of people are allowed into the US every year and some have ulterior motives, and it isn't easy to see which are which. But a woman with family ties (like me) to her country,that has a child, a job.school evidence, plane tickets,emails,facebook messages for a year(by then), flowers and gifts sent monthly, money transferred to help out, hundreds of pictures of us together,including daughter,friends and us taking a trip to Kanchanaburi, truly looks to most people that we are legitimate. To a smart person, yes I did say smart, what we have is real, you can't fake love between two people forever. And like I also said, if they turn her down, I will go higher up the ladder until I can convince them them we are real. She wanted to get married around relatives, and we are talking about doing that when I come the next time, going to Bangkok and going through the procedures to get a license, which is recognized here, then marrying in a recognized ceremony,christian. What else does a person have to do to prove a marriage? A lot of marriages are a farce anyway,everywhere, so who's to say what will and what won't work? I've been researching this for a long time now, and talking to immigration lawyers on how it works. Thousands come here from all countries ,including Thailand, are are granted visas, yet I know every situation is different. She knows enough english to answer most questions,and the person doing the interview will speak Thai anyway, so,knowing a lot of women that are wanting to marry a faramg can't speak a word of english, and this doesn't matter to the couple, are granted visas anyway.

[fredwiggy]

In any event, I will be married to this wonderful woman someday, and someday won't be longer than next March, no matter where we are married or where we will live. This is one relationship that will happen no matter what. True love finds a way, and God sometimes puts what you need right in front of you. This time I recognized it quickly.

[differentcountries]

a woman with family ties (like me) to her country,that has a child, a job.school evidence, plane tickets,emails,facebook messages for a year(by then), flowers and gifts sent monthly, money transferred to help out, hundreds of pictures of us together,including daughter,friends and us taking a trip to Kanchanaburi, truly looks to most people that we are legitimate.

you helping her out financially is not neccesarily strenghtening your case with a hasty marriage. it may come off as if you are buying her, if she needs your money just to stay afloat.

[TwoThree]

Aww you are still ignoring me, Freddie This makes me sad.

I'm glad you don't realize how bad your story looks from the outside (which is how immigration officers will look at it) if it helps you sleep at night.

So you met this lady less than two months ago, dumped your then girlfriend and spent a handful of days with this new one, then went back to the US. You are planning on marrying her in September, which is less than six months after meeting her. You say this lady is educated, has a job and strong ties to Thailand (her child) but you know, that doesn't mean anything. All sorts of people are willing to do what it takes to leave their native country, whatever their qualifications and history are.

Facebook conversation is not proof enough that the relationship is genuine. If anything, it could prove that you are gullible and are being played by this woman. And you know how people might get to this conclusion? What you said about sending her flowers and gifts and MONEY regularly. I mean did you even stop to think about what this means? You barely know the woman (even though you believe you have this deep connection with her) and she's already bleeding you dry, when you said yourself you don't have enough income to cover the financial requirements for the visa.

I don't think a person who would deny you a visa is not "smart enough" as you put it. I'd think they would be reasonably cautious. And you should be, too.

[fredwiggy]

My God the negativity I've encountered here. First of all,I want to thank those that have honestly tried to help me. I came here to ask for help trying to keep the relationship strong from a distance. Now her and I are more determined to see this through because of our love for each other, our hurts from past relationships and our desire to have something better for our futures. Anyone here that doesn't realize we are a legitimate couple trying to have a family either has been hurt before by someone elses bad decisions,or is just a negative person in general. Why do you think I came here in the first place? My story would look legitimate to anyone with any common sense. I know what I have to do,like everyone else, to prove a legitimate relationship. That's what we are trying to do. There are workers who have allowed people with ulterior motives to enter other countries, and those that have denied legitimate people from having a family. These people have no business having that job in the first place. If I get a smart worker who grants her the visa, then good. If I get an inept worker that denies it, I will then go above his or her head to their supervisor, then to their supervisor, as far as I have to, to have them see that we just want to get married. If I have to go to the media,then that will happen also. We are here on this planet for one reason only. To love one another ,have a family and serve God. Period. Anyone can see what others have done to this planet and to others will know something has gone wrong for a long time. It's because of crooked politicians and others that don't give a damn about anything but profit. This is one reason I have been thinking about moving to Thailand, besides the fact that I would be with her. Peace for once in my life. I didn't "dump" my ex. I left because I've been tired of the way I've been treated here by women. Unrealistic expectations and constant complaining over nothing genuine has made me a tad jaded. I've seen others who have Thai wives say they have never been treated this well before. Maybe this is what I'd like also? That and the fact I see this woman through educated eyes from what I've been reading about relationships for years. When I was there, I offered to pay her lost wages for the trip we made together for 5 days. She didn't want the money. Instead she asked me to give it to her employer so she could find another to cover for her those 5 days,and to pay her for it. Bleeding me dry? I think not. I send her things because I love her and her daughter unconditionally. All I expect back is her love. They need a good man to love and protect them. They'll have this. I want a good woman that will love me for who Iam , for once in my life. You can marry someone and never know them for a long time. Then it ends. You never know. You trust that they won't hurt you and they either do or they don't. Time will tell. I'm making a choice,hoping it works out for all of us. From what I've seen and heard, I think I'm making the right one. I've never been gullible. I've just trusted the wrong people. Like we all have. I'm willing to wait and let others see what we're trying to do here. But I will not let incompetence decide our fate. I would love support here. I love this woman and her daughter. I hope others can see this now. There isn't anything that will stop us from being married but our decision. And we have made that already.

[whatruckus]

My God the negativity I've encountered here. First of all,I want to thank those that have honestly tried to help me. I came here to ask for help trying to keep the relationship strong from a distance. Now her and I are more determined to see this through because of our love for each other, our hurts from past relationships and our desire to have something better for our futures. Anyone here that doesn't realize we are a legitimate couple trying to have a family either has been hurt before by someone elses bad decisions,or is just a negative person in general. Why do you think I came here in the first place? My story would look legitimate to anyone with any common sense. I know what I have to do,like everyone else, to prove a legitimate relationship. That's what we are trying to do. There are workers who have allowed people with ulterior motives to enter other countries, and those that have denied legitimate people from having a family. These people have no business having that job in the first place. If I get a smart worker who grants her the visa, then good. If I get an inept worker that denies it, I will then go above his or her head to their supervisor, then to their supervisor, as far as I have to, to have them see that we just want to get married. If I have to go to the media,then that will happen also. We are here on this planet for one reason only. To love one another ,have a family and serve God. Period. Anyone can see what others have done to this planet and to others will know something has gone wrong for a long time. It's because of crooked politicians and others that don't give a damn about anything but profit. This is one reason I have been thinking about moving to Thailand, besides the fact that I would be with her. Peace for once in my life. I didn't "dump" my ex. I left because I've been tired of the way I've been treated here by women. Unrealistic expectations and constant complaining over nothing genuine has made me a tad jaded. I've seen others who have Thai wives say they have never been treated this well before. Maybe this is what I'd like also? That and the fact I see this woman through educated eyes from what I've been reading about relationships for years. When I was there, I offered to pay her lost wages for the trip we made together for 5 days. She didn't want the money. Instead she asked me to give it to her employer so she could find another to cover for her those 5 days,and to pay her for it. Bleeding me dry? I think not. I send her things because I love her and her daughter unconditionally. All I expect back is her love. They need a good man to love and protect them. They'll have this. I want a good woman that will love me for who Iam , for once in my life. You can marry someone and never know them for a long time. Then it ends. You never know. You trust that they won't hurt you and they either do or they don't. Time will tell. I'm making a choice,hoping it works out for all of us. From what I've seen and heard, I think I'm making the right one. I've never been gullible. I've just trusted the wrong people. Like we all have. I'm willing to wait and let others see what we're trying to do here. But I will not let incompetence decide our fate. I would love support here. I love this woman and her daughter. I hope others can see this now. There isn't anything that will stop us from being married but our decision. And we have made that already.

Okay, now you're just starting to irritate me with these ignorant statements about getting a worker who is "smart enough to see you are a legitimate couple" and that whoever thinks otherwise about your relationship is negative and nasty. And, also with your statements about politics.

Guess what? Those people you keep saying are stupid that work for immigration are also the ones that are going to grant or deny your visa, which from your attitude and general way of thinking, as well as how fast your relationship is progressing, it'll more than likely get denied (at least the first time). Do you understand, and realize, how many couples on here have been with their SO's for YEARS and still have been denied? EVEN WITH PROOF.

I've tried to be nice and be respectful, but I'm sorry, you are downright rude, ignorant, and immature about this whole process. You're 58 years old with the thought process of a hormonal 14 year old.

Stop complaining about the women in your life as well, because the only constant in all those failed relationships is you and your attitude about women in general.

I've never been outright mean to a poster before, but your condescending and irrational posts are unnecessary.

[Moon]

I, for one, am NOT here to serve your ridiculous, fairy-tale god. Keep your dogma to yourself, please and thank you.

You sound a bit like a typical MRA'er, but whatever, man.

While I do think you're getting a bit of a raw deal here, you come off horribly. Do what you want, it's not our business really. If you get a visa for her, great. If not, have a nice life in Thailand. I've known older men who go for much younger Thai women, for all the same reasons you're doing it. It's a nice arrangement for both I guess, and if love creeps in there somewhere, more power to ya. If you're happy, then you're happy, it's your life.

You wanna know how to keep love strong while separated? Good communication, fun conversation, paying attention to what she says and remembering it, video calls, OCCASIONAL cards and small things in the mail, not over-emphasizing the distance, and commitment. That's really it. Just be a good and decent guy, and be involved in what she's telling you. There ya go. There's no magic to it, it's mostly that common sense stuff you keep going on and on about. There are so many sub's in here full of great ideas, go read them.

[snow_girl]

So He's from texas and thinks he he's a big shot that can go over everyone's head to get what he wants... based on my sleuthing skills I believe we are talking to this guy