Hey guys,
I am really torn up at the moment and don't know what to do!
We have been in a LDR for 1.5 years now, seeing each other about every 2 months. He is coming to visit in 2 weeks and we have been planning to move together in 2 months. Our relationship began like a sweet love story, we were friends for several months before we got together and we felt like we were soulmates because we were so similar. We were both surprised and excited to have found our soulmate and got serious pretty fast (maybe in part because he was leaving my country 2 months into the relationship). But now it all changed… We had a huge, destructive fight for the past days, have been saying mean things to each other and shown a side the other person didn't know before. I feel like even if we decided to stay together, we couldn't love each other anymore because of how we treated each other these past few days.. He said "you were just hiding your faults from me for the past 2 years" and told me all the personality traits he doesn't like about me, so I am not even sure he loves me. I feel like he was just holding this image of his dream girl in his head and trying to project it on me and now he sees that I am not this image. I still love him, but there are also some things I don't wanna deal with anymore. He goes out to party a lot, and I'm fine with that, but I want him to text me throughout the night and tell me what he's up to and with who! I don't know, it just eases my worries or makes me feel closer to him even though I have no clue what he's doing! He says this is controlling, jealous behavior. But the past few weekends, he has kept a few things from me and came clean after feeling guilty or after me specifically asking! (nothing like cheating, just about what he was up to) So of course I will become a bit more suspicious and then if he doesn't reply to my texts or isn't online for hours, yeah of course I wonder what he's doing!
So we have been having all these issues and I am wondering whether this is intensified by the distance or whether we would be having these problems if we were living together too! If we would live together and he was out partying, I wouldn't want to hear from him every hour- as long as he comes back home to me, it's fine! But he is halfway across the world, so technology is all we have right now. I felt so hurt to just be ignored- like he only texts me when it's convenient. And I kinda feel like we wouldn't have had this fight if we were living together.
Now we are "on hold", already half-way broken up, but we are waiting to see how we feel when he comes to visit in 2 weeks.. It's just soo devastating that we were once so in love and thought we were soulmates and now all we see are our ugly, flawed personalities.. Is this just how relationships go? I really don't want to break up- I would fall apart.. But I don't know if we can go on after this
I am really torn up at the moment and don't know what to do!
We have been in a LDR for 1.5 years now, seeing each other about every 2 months. He is coming to visit in 2 weeks and we have been planning to move together in 2 months. Our relationship began like a sweet love story, we were friends for several months before we got together and we felt like we were soulmates because we were so similar. We were both surprised and excited to have found our soulmate and got serious pretty fast (maybe in part because he was leaving my country 2 months into the relationship). But now it all changed… We had a huge, destructive fight for the past days, have been saying mean things to each other and shown a side the other person didn't know before. I feel like even if we decided to stay together, we couldn't love each other anymore because of how we treated each other these past few days.. He said "you were just hiding your faults from me for the past 2 years" and told me all the personality traits he doesn't like about me, so I am not even sure he loves me. I feel like he was just holding this image of his dream girl in his head and trying to project it on me and now he sees that I am not this image. I still love him, but there are also some things I don't wanna deal with anymore. He goes out to party a lot, and I'm fine with that, but I want him to text me throughout the night and tell me what he's up to and with who! I don't know, it just eases my worries or makes me feel closer to him even though I have no clue what he's doing! He says this is controlling, jealous behavior. But the past few weekends, he has kept a few things from me and came clean after feeling guilty or after me specifically asking! (nothing like cheating, just about what he was up to) So of course I will become a bit more suspicious and then if he doesn't reply to my texts or isn't online for hours, yeah of course I wonder what he's doing!
So we have been having all these issues and I am wondering whether this is intensified by the distance or whether we would be having these problems if we were living together too! If we would live together and he was out partying, I wouldn't want to hear from him every hour- as long as he comes back home to me, it's fine! But he is halfway across the world, so technology is all we have right now. I felt so hurt to just be ignored- like he only texts me when it's convenient. And I kinda feel like we wouldn't have had this fight if we were living together.
Now we are "on hold", already half-way broken up, but we are waiting to see how we feel when he comes to visit in 2 weeks.. It's just soo devastating that we were once so in love and thought we were soulmates and now all we see are our ugly, flawed personalities.. Is this just how relationships go? I really don't want to break up- I would fall apart.. But I don't know if we can go on after this
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