Feeling 'empty' when I'm at home...

[Stellasman]

It is so tough loving someone who lives so far away, I find the biggest thing is that you can't talk to that person whenever you want.

"Empty feeling" is the most accurate description of how it feels, in my opinion.

[BFG]

I don't think there's much any one of us can do but agree and sympathize. It's hard. I haven't seen my SO in just over 2 months since she left the country and I've got another 5 months until i get to see her again.

The "in limbo" remark is very poignant, since she's left I've worked really hard to make myself available for when she one day comes back to me (I hope) and we can start a life together but you catch yourself every now and again thinking "I've done all this for little box on Messenger who I don't get to see until next year. And she isn't coming home for a couple of years" and you think "Why have i done this? Who's dumb idea was this?" but at the end of the day, love finds a way. It always does. But when you don't know what the next move is, you don't know what happens next, it takes it out of you. There's only so much space up there in my head and it's hard to squeeze in that constant worry about what the future holds....will she come home? Will i have to give up everything I've worked so hard for recently (and professionally, in the last 5 years) and move there just to be with her? My industry doesn't even exist where she lives I would have to start again doing something else. if she comes home, will she join me where i live (remote, in the middle of the desert) or will I have to move back to a city to satisfy her urban nature?

You're in limbo 24/7 for an indeterminate amount of time. All you people who have been doing this for years have my utmost respect for keeping your shit together - does it get easier?

We agreed to not say goodbye when she left Australia because it wasn't goodbye it was "See you next year". I desperately wanted to say goodbye when I dropped her off home for the last time but i didn't.

[Stellasman]

I will be leaving Australia too to return to NZ and finally start my life with my girl.

[Stellasman]

Hey SquishyTacos,

How are things with you today are you feeling any better because believe me I am right with you, the "missing your SO" is really tough and I am no where close the even getting a grip on it.

[SquishyTacos]

u r not alone for sure with this. i have visited my bf 5 times and everytime i leave i feel empty, and it doesnt go away until i am back with him.
we r planning on getting married next year but then we still have to wait after marriage to close the gap as i need to find a permanant home for him to live in the uk and my money doesnt stretch far enough to save much each month.

if u get to talk to him on skype etc then count your blessings babe. i am only communicating via fb messenger at the moment cos we hardly have time to talk cos we both work different work patterns, and that is hard for me cos i miss seeing his face and hearing his voice.

How does that work out, aren't the visa requirements to get him into the UK pretty tough? I hope everything works out for you both~

Hey SquishyTacos,

How are things with you today are you feeling any better because believe me I am right with you, the "missing your SO" is really tough and I am no where close the even getting a grip on it.

I haven't been on here for so long to check replies! The missing has gotten easier to deal with, He is visiting me in the UK at the beginning of March so we are counting down to that... I think the fact that his visit is coming up closer than the day I last left him is what makes it easier. But it still sucks, you know?

[Ella85]

My SO is also coming over in march for his first visit. I've been to the US 3 times last year and just came back January 9th. Every time I come back it takes me at least a week or so to get off my feet and sort my emotions out. We are planning on closing the distance in July so yes, I feel like my life is on hold. I feel like everything I do here is pointless and just dragging it out. But we applied for the visa so there is that.

[beckyrm]

I think it's worse when you have already left so many times and said so many goodbyes & then when you have to do it all over again you know what's coming, and you know how empty your about to feels. So counting down them last days together and then knowing that for the next however many months you will be in such a dark place is the hardest thing. I've been with my (now husband) for 3 years, I'm in the UK and he's in Zambia. I moved out there a few months back to try and get a job and settle down but that didn't work out so I decided to get married, come back and then we will apply for a settlement visa after I have 6 months pay slips. (6 months is a long long time!) Last time we were apart for almost a year whilst I was finishing my degree. All I can is you kind of get used to being apart, you get used to having a relationship over the phone, and your day evolves around looking forwards to that one call every day. For me that can be a challenge because power in zambia is off for 12 hours a day and calling rates are so so expensive, so communication can be a huge challenge. I know everybody always says it's about the final goal, and what your working towards, but when you have said so many goodbyes and each time you think it's the last, you start to wonder when the pain will ever end. However, on the up side, I genuinely think that mine and my husbands bond would be no where near what it is now if we hadn't felt the pain of being apart. I have never valued another person's smell, touch, feel, voice etc. etc. so much in my entire life, I've never known such a distinct smell (I think I could smell him from miles away!) I've never treasured the sound of somebodies voice so much, and I think if you had never felt the pain of losing somebody, or being away from somebody, those small things all not something you would even think about. So when that final moment does eventually come and you do get to physically be together, I think all those small things that you learned to appreciate will come in super handy and make you such a strong couple. I know right now everything might feel completely out of place, your not bothered about seeing anybody, or going out anywhere, or even really been awake, you would rather just sleep it all out until the day you are waiting for arrives. But the worst thing you can possibly do is dwell, and cut of your entire life because of it, the only way to keep each other going is if you are both positive, and when you talk at night it's not all I miss you and I'm depressed, rather if you keep your self active and busy you have active things to talk about on the phone which puts both of you in a better mood. I'm not going to say it will all be worth it in the end, because you don't know if it will. you don't know if all this pain will be worth the relationship you may or may not have in 3 or 4 years time. What I can say, is that if you get through it and you both reach the end, you will definitely hold something magical between the both of you that most couples don't have.