really need advices ,i don't know what to do :(

[gyaru]

it's been 3 months after he said he wanted to break up with me,i'm still mourning and struggling.

i've known him for ages,met him on irc in 2004 for the first time and we got close after some months then i finally met him in person in 2009 and 2010 (we travelled together),then he changed job in 2011 and so did i,he couldn't meet before i joined my new company at that time.

then finally i decided to dump my job cause it made me exhausted for years and asked him to spend holiday again (been dying to spend time with him really),was talking about me visiting him but then again my sister suggested me to ask him come to visit me instead so she could meet him as well to make sure he's a good guy before he took me to his country.i didn't mind both,all i wanted just to spend time with him but he told me he didn't mind if he visited me.i was so excited about it

then after some weeks of planning. we had a big fight ,he decided to take a break and saying he didn't really look forward to meet up and it broke my heart into pieces ,i have taken pic for visa requirement and asked travel agent about applying uk visa.

he didn't asked me to give him space,i tried but ended up with looking for him again,he didn't like it.but then when i finally stopped it,he looked for me.but then he decided to break up with me after some weeks,he said he was unhappy and it didn't work and etc etc etc

the sad thing is a girl came to his life right after we broke up.she's his coworker.they spent time a lot,after office hour and during weekend.i was sad and jealous every time he said he would spend time with that girl.he said nothing happened between them.but they spent time together a lot,well with others too (that's what he said),spending time at her place playing game or go out for a drink together.

i know we have broken up but i do still hope we can get back together again.somehow i think he still loves me and wants me,i told him i still love him and nothing changed until now.i asked him if he still loved me well he did say yes but that's few months ago,he got annoyed when i tend to ask that question again.
i just wanted to make sure he does still love me so i didn't give myself a false hope

last night i asked him about him playing game at her place on saturday and he said yes and asking about sunday and he told me that girl wanted to do something to spend time together.i asked if she wanted to spend time with him only or with others too he said no idea and i got all upset cause she kept being around in his life.he said nothing happened and he has said it over and over again.but i feel insecure and so afraid that they would fell each other cause they spent time together a lot.he got annoyed at me for asking that a lot.he said he has no interest in anyone and she won't think him more than a friend.


i did try to not contact him but turned out he would contact me if i tried to not talk to him,and i was so happy everytime he messaged me,i know it's not good for me but i love him so much

what should i do? a good friend of mine asked me to forget him and move on but it's really hard for me to do it should i forget him?

is that girl really just friend or she might like him ?

[MariaEx]

Listen to your friend, move on, try to be happy, find another interest, enjoy yourself! I am pretty sure that if he decides to come back, he would like to find a happy, healthy, stable version of you. If you act like that and you let him know how miserable you are, there is no chance he will come back. We tend, as humans, to seek for happiness, comfort, pleasure in our relationships. No one is deciding to enter a relationship where the other party is mainly sad, needy, clingy, jealous. Move on for your own sake
As for his co worker, there is no way, you can predict whether she is interested in him or not, so try not to think about it. Start thinking about yourself and your happiness, be a little selfish

[gyaru]

Listen to your friend, move on, try to be happy, find another interest, enjoy yourself! I am pretty sure that if he decides to come back, he would like to find a happy, healthy, stable version of you. If you act like that and you let him know how miserable you are, there is no chance he will come back. We tend, as humans, to seek for happiness, comfort, pleasure in our relationships. No one is deciding to enter a relationship where the other party is mainly sad, needy, clingy, jealous. Move on for your own sake
As for his co worker, there is no way, you can predict whether she is interested in him or not, so try not to think about it. Start thinking about yourself and your happiness, be a little selfish

hey,maria,really thanks for your comment. i did try a lot to move on and try to be happy but sometimes i found myself feeling depressed and down and started to cry again.

did tell it to myself if he still loved me much he would ask me to be with him,didn't need to try so hard to get him back,but sometimes i just forgot that :/

i did try to not think about that girl.but it irritated me really when he mentioned about spending time together with that girl.i mean why it's so easy for him to be so close to a girl who he just knew for 3 months and forgot his love for me? while i'm here, have no any interest in any guys right now cause i'm still not over him :/

[Unicorn26]

You are never going to get over him whilst you are still in contact. As hard as it is I think you really need to forget this guy. You deserve better than this.


I would delete him from your life and give yourself time to heal. Delete his number, email, any social media accounts, just delete him. I know it sounds really terribly harsh but you need to take care of you. He doesn't seem to share your feelings and really I think it's too early to turn off your feelings and just be friends. It may happen, it may take a year or more or if may never happen at all. It will be really tough for a few months but one day you will wake up feeling a whole lot better and realise you e gone for a whole day without thinking about him.

Take care of you first. You deserve someone who is totally dedicated to you and you only.

[gyaru]

You are never going to get over him whilst you are still in contact. As hard as it is I think you really need to forget this guy. You deserve better than this.


I would delete him from your life and give yourself time to heal. Delete his number, email, any social media accounts, just delete him. I know it sounds really terribly harsh but you need to take care of you. He doesn't seem to share your feelings and really I think it's too early to turn off your feelings and just be friends. It may happen, it may take a year or more or if may never happen at all. It will be really tough for a few months but one day you will wake up feeling a whole lot better and realise you e gone for a whole day without thinking about him.

Take care of you first. You deserve someone who is totally dedicated to you and you only.

i'll keep that in mind.thanks anyway

[R&R]

I'm going to be totally honest with you on this. He ended it. You are no longer his girlfriend. If he spends time with other women, it's honestly none of your business any longer. Whether it took him 3 days, 3 months or 3 years after the breakup, it is his choice, his right and his decision to be with any other person of his choosing whether platonic or romantic. He does not answer to you. What his relationship is with this other woman doesn't matter because he is single and can do whatever he wants.

You need to step away. You need to realize it's over. You need to not put false hope into something that is no longer there. Dragging it out and putting yourself through all this mental anguish and what if's is doing nothing to help you. Sometimes things don't work out as planned and don't end up how we want them but we have to deal with the reality and move forward with our lives.

[bartinkopl]

I think you should simply get over it. He ended it and he had a right to do it, no matter how harsh it sounds... You deserve better than him and you cannot be stuck in that. Take care of yourself, spend time with friends and I am pretty sure that you will find a perfect match really soon. Move on and take care. Wish you lots of luck!

[differentcountries]

You have told him you still love him, after he broke up with you. you are still not together and he gets annoyed when you bring up the subject. Honestly, you are out of options. This is not going to end with him thanking you for your patience. It doesn't even matter if he still has feelings for you, because he wants to be without you more than he wants to be with you.

Of course you feel insecure. It is not easy to be replaced. First time my ex went out on a date I thought I was going to be physically sick. But the thing is, I stopped discussing our lovelives. I realized we did not share a love life any more.

It is going to take time, and it is going to hurt. But the best thing you do is stay away for a while, and find out who you are without him. It could be an interesting person.

[gyaru]

You have told him you still love him, after he broke up with you. you are still not together and he gets annoyed when you bring up the subject. Honestly, you are out of options. This is not going to end with him thanking you for your patience. It doesn't even matter if he still has feelings for you, because he wants to be without you more than he wants to be with you.

Of course you feel insecure. It is not easy to be replaced. First time my ex went out on a date I thought I was going to be physically sick. But the thing is, I stopped discussing our lovelives. I realized we did not share a love life any more.

It is going to take time, and it is going to hurt. But the best thing you do is stay away for a while, and find out who you are without him. It could be an interesting person.

yeah maybe you're right.a good friend of mine told me that i love him more than he does.that if he loved me that much he wouldn't get so irritated with my acts being pokey and clingy,i told him that it's because we're far apart and yes i always wanted his attention and i always gave my attentions to him,i told him i wouldn't get annoyed if he poked me around and did the thing like i did to him cause i loved him too much to get annoyed at those things like that.

i found myself losing my sleep after the break up and losing some weight too.2 weeks ago, he made me promise him to go to bed early and no checking phone if i awoke by midnight and i listened to him and finally i got some sleep after the break up. it made me think that he still cared me a lot but *shrugs* try hard to not put my hope that high sometimes he acted like we're still bf/gf thingy when we talked but then the next day he would be colder and only answered when i asked him things.i got confused by his acts sometimes :/

i did try to stop talking about our lovelives but sometimes i just forgot it when he's acting like he's still my bf :/

i will try harder to stay away for a while this time...

[sasad]

It is hard to let go. It's hard to just switch off love..Especially if he broke up yet still maintains contact and says or does things that shows he cares.
He is seeing another woman. It could be just as friends, but doesn't sound like it.

Bottom line is he did break up. You need to stop answering him etc. until you are in a better place or he wants to be back together, which doesn't look promising at the moment. I would cut contact, and start living your life. There are plenty of people out there. Start with friendship for now. Find yourself, be yourself.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

You are never going to get over him whilst you are still in contact. As hard as it is I think you really need to forget this guy. You deserve better than this.


I would delete him from your life and give yourself time to heal. Delete his number, email, any social media accounts, just delete him. I know it sounds really terribly harsh but you need to take care of you. He doesn't seem to share your feelings and really I think it's too early to turn off your feelings and just be friends. It may happen, it may take a year or more or if may never happen at all. It will be really tough for a few months but one day you will wake up feeling a whole lot better and realise you e gone for a whole day without thinking about him.

Take care of you first. You deserve someone who is totally dedicated to you and you only.

^^^^ very much this!! To echo some of the others, you will NEVER get over him while you are still in contact. That's not to say that you cannot ever be friends again, but you need some time away to move on without the constant reminder of him. Delete everything. Save pictures in a folder and then delete them. Delete his number, facebook, whatever. You cannot have a reminder of him staring you in the face everyday. Even more than that, you cannot have his dating flaunted in your face. That's a shitty move on his part and he clearly doesn't care about your well being. I got dumped and started dating someone new 3 months later. Even though I was the one who was dumped, I was still overly cautious to not flaunt my new relationship online. If you ask me, he's over compensating for something and it's extremely tacky.

[differentcountries]

yeah maybe you're right.a good friend of mine told me that i love him more than he does.that if he loved me that much he wouldn't get so irritated with my acts being pokey and clingy,i told him that it's because we're far apart and yes i always wanted his attention and i always gave my attentions to him,i told him i wouldn't get annoyed if he poked me around and did the thing like i did to him cause i loved him too much to get annoyed at those things like that.

i found myself losing my sleep after the break up and losing some weight too.2 weeks ago, he made me promise him to go to bed early and no checking phone if i awoke by midnight and i listened to him and finally i got some sleep after the break up. it made me think that he still cared me a lot but *shrugs* try hard to not put my hope that high sometimes he acted like we're still bf/gf thingy when we talked but then the next day he would be colder and only answered when i asked him things.i got confused by his acts sometimes :/

i did try to stop talking about our lovelives but sometimes i just forgot it when he's acting like he's still my bf :/

i will try harder to stay away for a while this time...

Loosing sleep and weight after a breakup is very normal. Your body and mind needs time to adjust to the new situation. You may consider getting some help if it continues. It is NOT your boyfriend's responsability to help you through the breakup, it might even make things worse because you get hopeful that he will be the one to mend your wounds.

[gyaru]

yeah i know and i'm struggling right now...and i try so hard to ignore the thought that we will be together again *sighs*