New here :)

[Jessic93]

Hello everyone! I am so excited to be a part of the site.

I am a 22 year old named Jessica and I have been in a relationship with a 26 y/o man from Morocco since the end of September. His name is Hassan and he makes me feel as if I am the only girl in the world for him; I honestly couldn't see myself with anyone else. We try to talk often on Skype/Whatsapp annnd I have already met his mother and sister over Skype.

The issue I have is that I have not told my mom about him, but have told my brother who has met Hassan on Skype and approves of him. This causes tension with us and I keep telling him that I will talk to my mom about him, but have no idea how to go about it. My mom is fairly new to social media/technology and is very critical of the internet due to the fact that all she has heard about online relationships are the crazy stories from the news. I was hoping a few people would have ideas on how I could approach this? Hassan feels that if I do not tell my family and friends about us, that there is no point of even trying to be together. With that, I want to be able to tell my friends and family that I am happy with him, but am afraid they will think we both are insane.

With that being said, as of late he has told me that he feels it is impossible to be together. At the beginning of our relationship, he went and talked to someone at the Embassy about being able to visit me in the United States. They basically shot him down and said it's difficult to get a visa to come to the US. I have not looked into anything considering since I know nothing about it and don't know where to start. I would be more than happy to travel and would honestly love the experience in itself. Would anyone have anything to say considering travel?

I appreciate all who read and those who reply, happy holidays
Jess

[RichardMaxwell]

Hi, I think you should confront the issue directly and tell your mom about your rel. You are an adult and can make your own choices, if people support you or not is outside your control entirely, but it is better to be open about what you're doing. If you go to Morocco it's a must obviously. I have known people who have gone there and lived to tell the tale and in fact loved it. You could consider going to a tourist area like Marrakesh, instead of holing up with your SO straight away, but you alone can decide if that's approrpiate. I suspect he'll be insulted if you don't stay with him but you can again make a choice.

[Jessic93]

Thank you for replying! I will definitely go on ahead and just tell her. I feel bad about not telling people about he and I.

As for the traveling, I have no problem and would definitely love to go. I'm quite excited just thinking about visiting. He's in Casablanca and is willing to let me stay with him (and family) when the time comes for me to visit. We talked about these things yesterday and he just acted like it would never happen. I want to make it happen.

[RichardMaxwell]

It sounds like you're really serious about him, so it's probably fine to tell the family.

You're very brave to stay with someone you've never met before in Morocco, but I hear it's a lovely country with excellent food and I know people who loved it there. If you feel like you want to make it happen, then you should go for it. May I ask, how did you two meet?

[Jessic93]

He's amazing to me and accepts me for who I am. I honestly think we could make it work, but he's second guessing it.

And I know! I love the culture and he's trying to teach me Arabic. We met on this social app where you could talk to people around you or anyone around the world, I wasn't looking for a relationship... but, he messaged me first and we just clicked.

[RichardMaxwell]

This all sounds great and really promising. Looks like you're the one who'll have to make it work to get it to happen. I really hope it works out and wish you the very best of luck. If you do come he'll be sure to be impressed and he'll know you're serious. What's the name of this app, btw?

[Lille]

Hey Jessica!
Welcome to the forum!
I think you should try to tell your mom about your relatonship as soon as possible, because it will just get harder the longer you wait.
especially before you visit him there, i think your mom should know about him. Maybe you can just introduce them in a skype call?

I know a lot of parents are scared, when it comes to their kids leaving the country (My bf's parents are constantly afraid of him being kidnapped, during his visits ) so its best to give them some time to get used to the idea, maybe contact his parents briefly, just so they dont have to worry.

I think if you have the opportunitiy to spend time in both your countries together you should really do that. seeing and experiencing the country your SO grew up in and lived all his life can help you understand his backround better and helps you understand the cultural differences in a way that you cant from affar.

applying for Visas can be stressy and seem impossible, but i think its absolutly worth it. (im so glad that atm me and my SO dont need Visas to visit eachother!)

About the Visas: (im asuming he has Moroccon citizenship) he would have to aply for a B2 visa and for that he needs to proove, that he's not intending Imigration and has to show:
- That the purpose of your trip to the United States is for a temporary visit for pleasure etc.
- That you plan to remain in the United States for a specific, limited period of time (usualy owning a return ticket should be enough)
- Evidence of funds to cover your expenses while in the United States (bank account balances etc.)
- That you have a residence outside the United States, as well as other binding social or economic ties, that will ensure your return abroad at the end of your visit (sozial or economical ties could be a secure job, a college program he's attending, some familymember he has to care for etc.)

for you visiting Morocco for up to 90 days you should be fine with a valid passport.

good luck with talking with your mom and making it all work

[MissingMyDutchLove]

I don't have much to say other than to reiterate this point. Please be careful if you decide to travel to him to meet. Although you may feel like you know him well, you have only been dating a couple of months and you have never met in person. There is definitely a need to proceed cautiously as far as visits go. Please be smart and make sure that others know where you are. It might even be wise to have a hotel room lined up for while you are there in case things don't go as planned. Remember that you will be in a foreign country and if things go wrong (or even you two just don't get along in person) you'll want some place safe that you can go back to.

[Jessic93]

I apologize for not answering everyone so far, have been sort of busy after the holidays. Someone asked what app I was on when I met him, it's called SKOUT.

This morning he and I got into it. Well, more or less he went off on me. He recently just came back home to Casablanca because he went to another city for four days with some of his family to meet his brother's fiancé's family since they are getting married soon.
Apparently the fiancé's family kept talking about how my SO wasn't married and that his brother's and sister are married and happy, so why isn't he? He just let me know about this yesterday and I assured him that yes, marriage is important in each and every culture. But, he shouldn't worry what other people have to say, it's his life. Plus, his brother's are older than him and got married passed my SO's age. (I hope that makes sense.)

Well, I didn't hear from him last night after he got off work and I was getting worried. I text him before I went to go to bed and said I hope you're ok. He text me in the morning and said I'm ok. And that was it. :/ so, he didn't message me because he said he had been thinking. And I asked what about and it was about the fiancé's comments toward him not being married. All of the sudden he asked me if I talked to my mom, I told him I have talked to her about some things. Then he would never answer. So I then get a long message about how I don't need to talk to my mom and such... I would copy and paste it, but I don't want this to be an even longer post than it already is. So, if anyone wants, I can copy and paste.

Next thing I know, he blocks me on Facebook, whatsapp, skype. I can't talk to him anymore and I feel absolutely lost. I have contacted his sister-in-law and she is willing to talk to him. Part of me wants to say screw it due to the fact of how he dealt with that and then the other part wants to try hard. I love him so much and I've never felt this way before about someone.

[RichardMaxwell]

Hi Jess. Thank you for disclosing the name of the app, and no worries, everyone gets busy around this time.

I am so sorry about what happened. It must be an extremely difficult time for you. For someone to end it out of the blue like this is just a very hard thing to accept I guess. I would emphasize that it appears to have nothing to do with you as a person, but all to do with the circumstances this boy is living in, so I really hope you can accept that it is not about you, but rather about him and where he is in life. If someone does this my advice would be NOT to chase them, but to give them the space they want. IF they love you they will return to you, but if they do not you wouldn't want them around anyway. You can't lose here really. I know it's hard to see this, when you love somebody so much and all you want is to be with that person. However, you are so young and I am quite sure you will find many others who will appreciate you. If it's not meant to be, don't force it. I hope you get over this soon, it's an awful thing to go through, I'm sure.

[Jessic93]

Thank you, it's really tough and I feel like there's this barrier that I can't break no matter how hard I try. He's the type of person who gets so upset that he doesn't want to talk at all and be alone... I don't know if that's what this is. Or what. But, it hurts me terribly. It wasn't a thing I wanted to go through after being really sick for several days and the fact that we barely talked while he was away due to connection issues on his end.

I just hope he answers his sister in-law... I want it to be like before. Having someone there for you always, to talk to and lean on them- and then they just decide to cut off all ties is utterly painful. This is how my last LDR ended also.

[Perthgirl1]

Thank you, it's really tough and I feel like there's this barrier that I can't break no matter how hard I try. He's the type of person who gets so upset that he doesn't want to talk at all and be alone... I don't know if that's what this is. Or what. But, it hurts me terribly. It wasn't a thing I wanted to go through after being really sick for several days and the fact that we barely talked while he was away due to connection issues on his end.

I just hope he answers his sister in-law... I want it to be like before. Having someone there for you always, to talk to and lean on them- and then they just decide to cut off all ties is utterly painful. This is how my last LDR ended also.

Hi
I realise this thread is a couple of months old now. I was wondering if you have heard from him since you posted this? My SO is in UK and I'm in Australia. We have been together on and off for almost two years now. Most of our communication is online. Through Facebook and such. He has completely cut me off a few times. The longest was 6 months. But then he comes back. He says he loves me and cant stay away from me. I'm hoping your SO has come to his senses and contacted you

[RichardMaxwell]

Hi
I realise this thread is a couple of months old now. I was wondering if you have heard from him since you posted this? My SO is in UK and I'm in Australia. We have been together on and off for almost two years now. Most of our communication is online. Through Facebook and such. He has completely cut me off a few times. The longest was 6 months. But then he comes back. He says he loves me and cant stay away from me. I'm hoping your SO has come to his senses and contacted you

Yes, I second those feelings. My SO also goes cold, sometimes 4 days or 3 days, but she always came back, so far anyway. I hope you heard from him as well.

[Jessic93]

I have heard from him. I had to end up talking to his sister in-law and she convinced him to talk to me. He basically told her that he wasn't going to talk to me until he knew I was serious about this relationship-I felt I was being quite serious about it. He basically made it like I was the one who forced him into not talking to me.

Along with this, two weeks ago he went off on me about how I said I was better off without him to a friend of his right after that blocking fiasco took place. We argued all of Valentine's Day, he then said he was done with me. And I asked him why would he even say such a thing? I kept telling him that my feelings were true and that he's made me feel like no one has ever made me feel like before. He told me that he said that to see my reaction and said he would never actually say that to me seriously. After that he sent me a message and said, 'Today is Valentine's Day? Im supposed to tell you I love you.' With my feelings hurt, I just said its not that important and he said ok. He then tried to make everything better and I just went with it, even if it didn't work.

We are still talking, but he still has me blocked on Facebook. He also freely talks to his one friend about me. I guess I'll see how it goes. We haven't really been able to skype and barely get to talk through whatsapp calls because his wifi is crap. So we've been trying our hardest to talk to each other as much as we can.

[RichardMaxwell]

You know I don't think it's cool for him to play with your feelings like saying he's done just for kicks. It sounds almost like he enjoys torturing you a bit.