New here :)

[Moon]

May I ask why in the world you're putting up with this type of behavior? Love isn't a good enough excuse, either. You deserve better treatment than these stupid kiddie games, actual men don't act like this. Just sayin'.

[Jessic93]

Yeah, I know. I told him it seriously hurt and he said I'm sorry, it was a stupid joke. And earlier he said he felt bad for everything that has happened, but I feel like my feelings don't matter in most of these occasions. When I say I'm hurting or upset he tells me to cheer up and smile... and I'm like who the hell is going to be happy after that goes down?

[Moon]

OK, so why are you still with him? There's a million guys out there who would cherish you and treat you kindly, why stay with someone who's clearly an asshole? I think you need to find some respect for yourself, then find someone who will be nice to you, and give you respect. I can't figure out why you're allowing yourself to be treated like this

[Jessic93]

I know it sounds really stupid. I guess it just that I haven't had so much luck with people around me or even with dating apps. And I guess it's just the fact that I'm with him, I keep holding on, hoping he would be better.

[Moon]

I know it sounds really stupid. I guess it just that I haven't had so much luck with people around me or even with dating apps. And I guess it's just the fact that I'm with him, I keep holding on, hoping he would be better.

Sweetie, he won't. I can practically guarantee you that, though I wish it were different. Believe me, as someone who has been in a ton of relationships in my life, it's ultimately better to be single than be with someone who treats you like shit. Being single can be really lonely and scary, but you can use that time to work on yourself, to be the best person you can be for yourself, and in turn be ready for someone great to come along. Have you considered joining other forums for things you have interests in, or going to local meetups for things that you like? Don't join for the goal of meeting someone to date, but to enjoy shared interests with a variety of people, that will help you get out there, and possibly even meet some guys on the interesting side. Don't make it a goal to have a boyfriend, because then you'll end up settling again. Make it about getting out there and meeting all kinds of people. If nothing else you'll gain both friends and confidence, which would be great.

[whatruckus]

He's manipulating you and thinks it's fun to mess with your emotions. He only says mean things to you to see what your reaction is? What?

I'm sorry, but you need to break it off with him completely. If he doesn't trust your word, then what's the point?

I kept hoping that things would change between me and my former SO as well. I was really hoping that he would. But, it didn't. And, we ended up breaking up over the weekend because things weren't getting better. Albeit, our situation was much different than yours, but it takes a lot for someone to change and get better. And, they're not going to do it for you, or your relationship. They're going to do it for themselves, because they want to. It doesn't matter what you say or do, the change needs to come from themselves.

It doesn't look like your SO cares about you and your feelings. He has you blocked on Facebook, and then he's outright mean to you. My actual Ex (not my former SO), was like that. He was outright mean to me and hurt my feelings all the time. He didn't care. He never changed. And, he just kept on doing it to me. I stayed with him for 5 years. And, I was with my former SO for 3.

Let me tell you as someone who's been in toxic relationships like yours, it drains you. Completely. I don't even think I'm going to date for a very long time, and I honestly don't care about being in a relationship any more.

Don't become like me and lose hope just because you're letting one A-Hole walk all over you.

[C.C.]

When I say I'm hurting or upset he tells me to cheer up and smile... and I'm like who the hell is going to be happy after that goes down?

I am talking about this from a bitter experience. I had a friend who used to tell me that (when they were the reason I was upset mostly). Keyword there: I had.
That either means that someone is not considerate of you or that someone completely misunderstands you.
Like how the hell do you say to someone close to just cheer up when they are feeling down. Is feeling sad or any negative emotion a sin or what? Everyone is entitled to what they feel, especially when it comes to quite rational feelings like in your case. It'd be okay for him to tell you that he finds your reaction exaggerated and for you two to discuss it together, but just telling you to "cheer up and smile"? That exact phrase upsets me SO much.

P.S. I have yet to read the whole story and others' replies, I just couldn't help responding to that
P.P.S. I read it and well, what others said XD You know, some people have talent of masking something outright mean and saying it so casually that they make you feel bad but you can't really argue against it, because they always have excuses, and even blame you for it. So you just keep going, because you are optimistic an hopeful, probably. But don't. Love is not a race and neither people change so easily.

[Jessic93]

Thank you everyone, he and I are no more. We talked everything out from previous issues and ended up just trying to stick with it. Well, that lasted a few weeks and we are just done. He's accused me of cheating and has been arguing with me in circle for two days about it, he's addamit that this whole relationship was a waste of time and that I do bad things because I'm American. Whatever that means.

So, I'm here to say that it's over. I have given up and I'm tired of hurting. Maybe this just wasn't meant to be (at all) and this will give me time to settle down for awhile.