She is scared.

[Smnsn]

I finally was able to get through to my SO and got some real answers. My SO and I met online and haven't met in person yet. Things have been pretty rough the last few weeks but they're a little better now. She told me she is worried that I won't like her in person and that she stresses out just thinking about it. She suffers from anxiety and and recently it has gotten worse because of these thoughts I guess.

There is a possibility that we may not like each other when we finally meet but I highly doubt it. There's also the risk on my end that she may not like me when we meet in person but I figure I'll deal with it when that time comes but that fear is deeply rooted in her mind I guess.

Is there anyway I can reassure her? It's hard when it's only words and I can't show her with actual affection how much I care about her.

[R&R]

There is a possibility you won't have that connection in person on one end or both. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. Honestly, the only way to know for sure is to meet. Have you set a date or started working on when that will be?

[Smnsn]

Originally she was going to come here this summer but she doesn't know if she could afford it. So then I had planned to go in the beginning of March but she has since had problems with anxiety and other things that have made talking about it rather difficult. I'm hoping we can set a date when we can meet soon though as she still wants to she's just worried she'll have a panic attack.

[R&R]

Are you required to get a Visa or anything to go visit her? If so, then maybe you can start working on that stuff in the background so you can feel like you are at least working towards something.

[Smnsn]

Luckily I don't require a visa to visit if it's less than 90 days. I do still need to get my passport so I can get that. I guess I can just keep saving money until she is ready to meet. I'm planning on sending some "open when" letters just as another way to show her I care and that way if she ever doubts she can open one or something.

[Miasmata]

Does she have recurring, severe issues with anxiety? If yes, she might wanna try seeing a therapist if she hasn't already, and finding other means of support and selfcare. It's wonderful that you want to be there for her, but that burden can't be all on you - You are no therapist or doctor. Obviously, getting counseling doesn't magically whisk away issues, but it can generally relax the situation and give your partner more confidence, and the relationship benefits from that, too!

[Smnsn]

She has been seeing a therapist for a few years which I'm really glad she has been. She hadn't gone in a while which is why I think it may have gotten worse all of a sudden. I realize that I simply can't help her, all I can do is be there for her when she needs me. I'm also starting to think it may be due to her having her heart broken before. I think it's hard for her to open up and let me in because she's afraid it will happen again. I wish there were some way to show her but I guess only time and my actions can do that. It's even more difficult in a LDR I think.

[Miasmata]

She has been seeing a therapist for a few years which I'm really glad she has been. She hadn't gone in a while which is why I think it may have gotten worse all of a sudden. I realize that I simply can't help her, all I can do is be there for her when she needs me. I'm also starting to think it may be due to her having her heart broken before. I think it's hard for her to open up and let me in because she's afraid it will happen again. I wish there were some way to show her but I guess only time and my actions can do that. It's even more difficult in a LDR I think.

You are approaching this very reasonably and maturely, kudos! It's never fun to see where your personal limits are but they are so, so important. You are an important support, never forgot or devalue that. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, so beyond gently encouraging her to try the therapist again and being there for you, keep doing what you're doing!