Update:
We're on a break for a few days I guess. I understand, we've been in constant contact and it's sucked the balance out of both of our lives. Maybe this will push me to focus on getting my shit together and make him feel better too. I just really hope it's not the end. I have a horrible feeling that it is. So close to seeing eachother again, too.
-------
First off, hello everyone! I used to have an account here but I have no idea what the username was, so it's time to start over!!
I'm 26, female, living in the states, dating a 22 yo guy in Australia. So far things have been pretty good, he's visiting soon! We met in the states, but he's never been to my state. We're both excited and nervous.
The biggest issue right now is that I have been unemployed for 3 months, and it's been a massive drain on my mental health which is putting a strain on our relationship. He's been insanely supportive but it seems that I get overly defensive with him now over EVERYTHING. It's really affecting our communication. He's the one who called me out on it.
I feel like he's attacking me constantly, even though he assures me he isn't. He has a very dry sense of humor which I love, but not when I'm already in a bad place. I think it's low self-esteem on my part. Any time I don't spend looking for jobs I feel guilty for "wasting." including time talking to him. Today I sent him an article which he poo-pooed and it made me feel like shit. Over a difference of opinion on a stupid science article! My knee-jerk response to any level of disagreement is to lash out defensively and it's immature as hell.
I haven't been out much because I can't face people knowing that I don't have a job. Even for free events. This means lately I really don't talk to anyone but my SO. I think this is the main issue because it's creating a lot of pressure on our convos.
He does his best to be understanding. Today he'd had a bad day at work and instead of me being there for him we had another stupid fight because I couldn't push my own guilt over NOT having a job aside in time to empathize with him and didn't know what to say to make him feel better. I honestly don't even know why he sticks this out. He's 22, he could find someone with way less baggage, in his own country, even.
I just don't know how to deal with this. I have an interview next week and just the prospect of being employed again is giving me a huge relief, but I think that also made me realize how depressed I've really become in contrast. I want to be a source of support to him, and instead I'm dragging him with me.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice on tackling this?
We're on a break for a few days I guess. I understand, we've been in constant contact and it's sucked the balance out of both of our lives. Maybe this will push me to focus on getting my shit together and make him feel better too. I just really hope it's not the end. I have a horrible feeling that it is. So close to seeing eachother again, too.
-------
First off, hello everyone! I used to have an account here but I have no idea what the username was, so it's time to start over!!
I'm 26, female, living in the states, dating a 22 yo guy in Australia. So far things have been pretty good, he's visiting soon! We met in the states, but he's never been to my state. We're both excited and nervous.
The biggest issue right now is that I have been unemployed for 3 months, and it's been a massive drain on my mental health which is putting a strain on our relationship. He's been insanely supportive but it seems that I get overly defensive with him now over EVERYTHING. It's really affecting our communication. He's the one who called me out on it.
I feel like he's attacking me constantly, even though he assures me he isn't. He has a very dry sense of humor which I love, but not when I'm already in a bad place. I think it's low self-esteem on my part. Any time I don't spend looking for jobs I feel guilty for "wasting." including time talking to him. Today I sent him an article which he poo-pooed and it made me feel like shit. Over a difference of opinion on a stupid science article! My knee-jerk response to any level of disagreement is to lash out defensively and it's immature as hell.
I haven't been out much because I can't face people knowing that I don't have a job. Even for free events. This means lately I really don't talk to anyone but my SO. I think this is the main issue because it's creating a lot of pressure on our convos.
He does his best to be understanding. Today he'd had a bad day at work and instead of me being there for him we had another stupid fight because I couldn't push my own guilt over NOT having a job aside in time to empathize with him and didn't know what to say to make him feel better. I honestly don't even know why he sticks this out. He's 22, he could find someone with way less baggage, in his own country, even.
I just don't know how to deal with this. I have an interview next week and just the prospect of being employed again is giving me a huge relief, but I think that also made me realize how depressed I've really become in contrast. I want to be a source of support to him, and instead I'm dragging him with me.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice on tackling this?
Comment