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    #1

    ...wanting me to choose him over a guy I've been dating?

    Hi everyone,

    I recently ended a LDR almost two months ago... at the beginning of this month, a guy asked me out. I said sure and have been casually going out with him since. Nothing serious, but I have enjoyed it so far.

    Last week, I received a message from my ex and he explained how he was surprised how I could move on from him so quickly and how he never specifically said we were over. He said that I never felt what I did for him due to the face that I was hanging with a new person. He and I have gone back and forth and he keeps saying how we would be good together and that distance isn't that great of a deal (he's in Morocco). He expected me to stop talking to the new guy and just be back in relationship mode with him again.

    This passed Thursday night I got a message from the guy ive been out with and he asked me, "Who is Sammi Benn?" I know no one with that name, but he said that this guy on Facebook was asking him about me. My ex was using a fake Facebook account, trying to get information from him. -_-
    I explained to the new guy my situation over the phone and he was cool, said that I needed to figure where I stand with my ex and then talk to him.

    My ex has tried sweet talking me and telling me he will do everything he can for me... sad to say I can feel old feelings welling up and I feel absolutely torn.
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    #2
    You broke up for a reason. I would say if that reason is still valid, then I'd stick with it. Also, the fact that he created a fake persona to contact the man you have been dating, that's just downright wrong. To me, that would be a dealbreaker. The fact that he's trying to control who you are talking to or are dating stating that you never broke up - serious control issues.

    You ex showed up when he saw you were happy with someone else. If you hadn't posted anything that he had been able to see about this new guy, do you think he'd be trying to get you back? Probably not. Don't let his pretty words convince you of one thing when his actions quite clearly show something else.
    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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      #3
      Originally posted by R&R View Post
      You broke up for a reason. I would say if that reason is still valid, then I'd stick with it. Also, the fact that he created a fake persona to contact the man you have been dating, that's just downright wrong. To me, that would be a dealbreaker. The fact that he's trying to control who you are talking to or are dating stating that you never broke up - serious control issues.

      You ex showed up when he saw you were happy with someone else. If you hadn't posted anything that he had been able to see about this new guy, do you think he'd be trying to get you back? Probably not. Don't let his pretty words convince you of one thing when his actions quite clearly show something else.

      THIS!!!!!

      Seriously, he contacts you after a few months when you are happy and says you never broke up?? Wth... So did he even contact you want to do anything with you during your time you were "not broken up" ?

      Meh. Walk away.
      Actually, I just read your history with this dude. Don't walk away, run away. He has played you and hurt you before.
      Last edited by sasad; April 30, 2016, 08:42 PM.

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        #4
        No, he didn't. He said he didn't talk to me to give himself time because he was accusing me of cheating on him.

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          #5
          He has not been nice to you in the past. He has ignored you and treated you like a non-person you deserve a lot better than that and you deserve respect.

          Comment

            #6
            Thank you for your advice, it's just really frustrating.

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by Jessic93 View Post
              No, he didn't. He said he didn't talk to me to give himself time because he was accusing me of cheating on him.
              Oh, so he thinks you cheated on him and so he "gave you the silent treatment" but now wants to get back together? No, just no. He was out doing his own thing because he was single and now because he sees you can be happy without him, he wants to come back in and control things again.

              Allow the distance to be a huge blessing to you right now. Block him on your phone and all social media. Make a 100% clean break. You don't need the drama or the narcissistic actions of this man.
              To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

              ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

              Comment

                #8
                I agree with the other posters..sasad and R&R...walk away...trust your self and leave him in your past
                Really immature to be stalking on FB and using a fake name.

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                  #9
                  Also by the way telling you that his feelings were stronger than yours because you moved on and are seeing another guy is incredibly manipulative.
                  So, here you are
                  too foreign for home
                  too foreign for here.
                  Never enough for both.
                  Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Diaspora Blues

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Ejoriah View Post
                    Also by the way telling you that his feelings were stronger than yours because you moved on and are seeing another guy is incredibly manipulative.
                    He is an asshat.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Your ex uses a fake Facebook account to stalk the people you date and ask them questions about you? And is not even ashamed, but wants you to know these are the methods he will use to woo you back? After you two breaking up over him accusing you of cheating?

                      That is either very creepy, or.... yes, that is just creepy.
                      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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                        #12
                        Sorry, but he seems like a scum bag. Controlling, manipulative...yay. All signs of a narcissist and probably a future abuser (I haven't read your history with him, but I don't doubt he emotionally abused you already). Like it's been said, block him completely. Run away from him.

                        If you get back together with him, you'll regret it.

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