1 Week trust issues, is this it already?

[zallen239]

So me and the SO had a really good chat 2 nights ago and she said there might be a job with her working overseas, and now I wish I could just go out and work with her. We chatted by text yesterday and she asked how my day was and stuff and I told her that I want to do is go out on season with her. She now says she may of being a bit hasty and i've replied saying if you say something like that it just really makes me want to do it with you, but she hasn't replied and now I'm left feeling like utter shit. I left it and will speak to her today and see how I feel. That said why would she say something like that to me if she didn't mean it, and why change her mind so quickly? I'm just a mess of emotions at the moment and any help would be so greatly appreciated we've only been apart for a week but I can't help but feel that I'll drive her away. I also got quite drunk last night and did something largely regrettable, she left her facebook logged on on my laptop and I looked at her messages I found a chat that went something like this:

Guy: Hope you're alright
SO: yerr fine
Guy: Can i come see you?
SO: not at the moment
Guy: Come to my room if you want?
Guy: (next day) Speak to you today? I'm really confused?

This has sent me crazy. I'm so disappointed in myself for looking but I'm also disappointed to read messages like this. I don't even begin to know how to talk to her about this i'm feeling that even though it's gone just a week this relationship isn't going to last. I love her to bits and we've had a few trust issues before but nothing major and she'd come talk it out with me everytime but at the moment I can't help but feel unmissed, unwanted and unloved.

[Honour]

When I was like... 18, I did something like this to my now-ex. I regretted it because I found out all sorts of sordid things I didn't want to see or know about. Needless to say, I made a grave mistake, but was it for the best? Probably. Doesn't mean what I did was stupid though. Bottom line is, you find yourself looking, you'll more than likely find things you don't want to see. In your case, you did, which means you now have hard options you need to consider: you mistrusted her and yourself, so do you come clean? Do you keep it to yourself? I think you're vastly overreacting, your mind is making you think things that are probably not true, and the fact you were drinking when you looked didn't help matters. It's a topic I see coming up time and time again: it's OK for ladies to have male friends, and male friends to have lady friends, that they hang out with and are friends with. But that's all they are: FRIENDS. Relationships can only thrive if individuals involved can trust the other, and when that trust is broken, it's like a broken mirror, you see the reflection but there'll always be the crack there. Trust isn't easily repaired. I think you should come clean, because if you're anything like me, keeping a secret like that will just make you feel worse and worse the more you keep it to yourself. It may not be what you want to hear, but you're gonna have to either bare the consequences of coming clean, or let the secret stagnate and cause problems between you both. What do you honestly believe is better?

[zallen239]

You raise some great points, i'm really not sure on what I want to do about it. I'm a very honest person and don't keep secrets at all so it might make sense to come clean. I agree that I'm probably overreacting a bit but I'm more questioning the fact that she talked about me going over to work with her then instantly uturns the next day? I'm not looking for a career right now and I said it makes no difference to me where i work at the moment so i thought i might as well try and work with her? That made sense to me at least. I won't rush into any decisions but I'll hopefully be speaking to her tonight and if she's not understanding of my feelings then I'll probably come clean. Sounds like we have a lot to talk about.