Have a little bit doubt 😔

[erwin1973]

Okay...

Although personally I don't agree with Toni, I can understand in some countries and cultures that is the case as Toni states. So from his point of view, and if he and his lady agree about that, that is fine for them as long as it works. Other countries, other morals, so to say. I see Toni is from Indonesia, and I have a hunch he's muslim - as many are in Indonesia. I have had some muslim co-workers and they have been more strickt then 'us' Europeans or 'us' Americans.

So, before burning someone down on an opinion, try to find something out about his background. Again, I only assume Toni is a muslim - and I have nothing against that.

Let me tell you, here in The Netherlands we have people - loads of'm, actually, that are that 'old fashioned', they are not even allowed to see someone of the opposite sex from closer then armlength without being supervised by one of the parents - usually the girls parents. They say their faith dictates that. Although I don't agree with that, I respect it.

Some insight, just my tuppence.

[erwin1973]

Sure it'll be ok

Of course it will be okay. Because, if he wanted something with her, would he tell you he's seeing her? I don't think so. Not to add to your insecurities, but I mean, if you found out afterwards, you'd have reason to be suspicious. He's telling you open and honest about it, so you don't have to worry.

[SimplyComplicated]

hi guys thanks fot all the input.
spoke to him yesterday and all good.
turnout that girl was the one who specially came there to meet him,cos they r just reallly good friend.

[Honour]

That's good! Thanks for the update.

[toni345]

Hi all,

What a surprise that I left for a couple of days and my comment got some feedbacks (well, that's great! This forum is alive! )

Actually I'm not saying that we should not be friend with anyone. I never said that. What I emphasize is the appropriateness of being friend when you already have SO.

Well, when it comes to appropriateness, I think it becomes really subjective. There's no ultimate true or wrong (just like other subjective things). To keep things short, I'm not going to debate too long here since it's subjective (and I cannot speak English really well lol). Anyway, Erwin1973 got some points (though I'm not Muslim ), it sometimes depends on who you are, your background, your beliefs, your culture, etc.

SimplyComplicated: glad to hear that everything just going well!

[alecat316]

I feel that if he was trying to hide anything, he would not be so open about it (i.e. FB post). Unless he is doing things that are shady, you should have faith in what you have together. Trust your gut instinct. What does it tell you?

[erwin1973]

Hi all,

What a surprise that I left for a couple of days and my comment got some feedbacks (well, that's great! This forum is alive! )

Actually I'm not saying that we should not be friend with anyone. I never said that. What I emphasize is the appropriateness of being friend when you already have SO.

Well, when it comes to appropriateness, I think it becomes really subjective. There's no ultimate true or wrong (just like other subjective things). To keep things short, I'm not going to debate too long here since it's subjective (and I cannot speak English really well lol). Anyway, Erwin1973 got some points (though I'm not Muslim ), it sometimes depends on who you are, your background, your beliefs, your culture, etc.

SimplyComplicated: glad to hear that everything just going well!

Thanks, Toni.

Yes, the forum is very much alive.

[SimplyComplicated]

Hi guys, I'm back here.
So again he meeting her yesterday for farewell, apparently she is going back to her country.
Hes been very understanding and update me everything, he also shared their pics long time back before he posted on his social media.
And again I feel its a bit too much about his social media update, he was saying that he missed her dearly, n update again in his story that he missed her already, and she replied about how she missed him too.
I don't know how to react, but I think I deserve some respect right?
What do u guys think? Am I being too jealousy or they r kinda too much?

Thanks before guys, ur opinion and advice always helpful for me 😊

[Redheart14]

How do you think he would react if he were in your shoes?

[SimplyComplicated]

How do you think he would react if he were in your shoes?

Honestly, I'm not sure, but I think he will ask me or just informed me about what he feel.

Whats ur opinion am I being to jealousy or they r kinda too much?

[alecat316]

I have to agree with Redheart14. You have to put yourself on the other side sometimes. Imagine you were doing the same with "Just a friend." How do you THINK he would feel about it? Also, as I said before, you have to listen to your gut. Yes, he is putting things out there and talking to you about it, but is he telling you everything? Have you told him it makes you uncomfortable?

In the end, whether he sees her as more than a friend or not doesn't matter. If your relationship is meant to be and he really loves you, nothing will come between you. The truth always comes out in the end.

[erwin1973]

I, too, start to believe he's showing a bit too much to be comfortable with. Like he's trying to hide something. I can't pinpoint it, though.
Yes, I agree with OP she deserves respect, and I agree with Redheart14 that he should put herself in her shoes...
I'm not sure what to think about this. Also agree with Alecat316.

[autumn1790]

Hi guys, I'm back here.
So again he meeting her yesterday for farewell, apparently she is going back to her country.
Hes been very understanding and update me everything, he also shared their pics long time back before he posted on his social media.
And again I feel its a bit too much about his social media update, he was saying that he missed her dearly, n update again in his story that he missed her already, and she replied about how she missed him too.
I don't know how to react, but I think I deserve some respect right?
What do u guys think? Am I being too jealousy or they r kinda too much?

Thanks before guys, ur opinion and advice always helpful for me 😊

This honestly does seem to be a bit too much...I could see posting something to wish her well, but posting about missing her twice seems a bit over the top. I don't think most guys would be comfortable with their girls posting several times about missing a guy friend dearly. In the end, though, it's all about what you're comfortable with, as long as you're acting rationally. And I honestly don't think being uncomfortable with this is irrational.
Side question: maybe you answered this already, but does he post about you on social media?

[SimplyComplicated]

Hi guys,
So I spoke to him yesterday (not on the phone, by text).
He check me all the time, and yesterday he kinda to chatty, it never happened when he is traveling, but yesterday he msg me all day.
I told him about his post, and I told him that I dont likebit, n he said he knows by how I texted him back, n he was happy I acted like that��.
And about the missing part he said its bcouse he doesn't kbow when they will Meet again cos she is staying far away, n he cant just go there to meet her.
I also asked should I be worried about this, he said up to me but what he feel I shouldn't worried cos it will be my real concerned. And he said also like what he explained so many times that she is only a friend that he really respect, she is actually an activist for women and she is very young and dedicated her summer time for this project. And he said again n again that she is only friend n becos he know how insecure I am he updated me all the time.
And even I told him about his friend and some relative comments who get a wrong impression, and he said they all are crazy n don't think about that.
And no he never post about me cos we kinda keep a secret about our relationship, this is waht I want actually. But we both react to each other post.

So what u guys think?
One of my cousin who see the post said its totally normal, and their post are really friendly one.

[SimplyComplicated]

and again he still very much in contacts like snapping with each other,he did tell me about that.
and he replied to her missing him post also with miss you too and smile emoticon,he did deleted his family comments about wrong impression.
when i teased him how he missed her so much,he said he tell her about that also,and he told me yes she has a soft spot on him,but he said i also have a soft spot on his heart,so no need to worried about that girl at all.he said once she going back to college they won't keep in contacts this much like this time,its only bcos they just reunited and enjoyed their meeting the other day.

i'm not sure how to react,i tried to distant myself yesterday by putting my phone off,he did message me multiple times and at the end of the day he mad at me bcos of this,cos i said i just want to be alone for a day.