ADVICE PLEASE! WHAT SHOULD I DO?

[nikenhafshah]

I met him in dating online website last August and and have the same goal to get married in the future. And finally we started to know each other.

I'm 22 y.o and he's 25 y.o now
We started chatting on whatsapp to be more comfortable. At first, he always took the initiative to start a chat with me. About 1-2 weeks later we got to know each other, he told me, do I have feelings for him? If so, he will make his visa and want to meet me and my parents to plan the wedding. During those two weeks, I tried to build my feelings for him but I was still not sure that's why he said that to me. And, I asked him some questions to convince myself of him. After, our chat became more intense, my feelings for him increased a little and I decided to start chatting with him first because so far he was always the one who took the initiative to chat with me. After less than two months, I felt strange, because he no longer took the initiative to start a chat with me, instead I had to start it, I know he is busy because he has a lot of work there and I don't want to burden him while I am focusing on my studies, where we don't have enough time to get to know each other better, finally I sacrificed my night's sleep to chat with him because our time difference is 6 hours.

There is something else odd, he always replies to my messages briefly but he often also sends his voice recording to reply longer. He always takes the initiative to start a video call but I always reject it, it seems that during our relationship we only did a video call once, the rest I rejected. I rejected it because I was too embarrassed, because he was the first in my life for 22 years and my English isn't fluently, I was embarrassed and would feel awkward if we chatted later.


And I started to express my concerns to him why he always replied to my messages too short, does he no longer have feelings for me? He answered that he has feelings for me, then I asked him again why he is like that? instead of answering my question, he gave me questions like "Do I have feelings for him? If I do I will give you more" but with questions like that how can I have feelings for him and develop feelings for him where I doubt seeing him not excited like before. Please give me advices

[Kacey C.]

It sounds like you're navigating a complex and emotionally taxing situation. Communication is key in any relationship, especially when it’s long-distance and relies heavily on messaging. Your feelings are valid, and it's important to address them with your partner openly and honestly.

Firstly, it’s crucial to have a conversation about your concerns. You mentioned that you’ve been hesitant about video calls due to embarrassment. It might be worth trying to overcome this barrier, as video calls can be more personal and help build a deeper connection.

Secondly, consider discussing your expectations and the pace of your relationship. It’s okay to feel uncertain about rushing into marriage after just a few weeks. Express your need to take things slower to really get to know each other, without pressure.

Also, try to establish a balance in who initiates conversations. Relationships should feel natural and reciprocal. If the connection is genuine, both parties will make efforts despite their busy schedules.

Lastly, make sure not to sacrifice your well-being, like sleep or studies, for the relationship. Your health and future are important, and a supportive partner will understand that.

Trust your instincts, and remember that it’s okay to take a step back and reassess the relationship if things don't improve.