Regarding the gender of my S/O and my sexuality

[AJG96]

This seems like the best place to talk about this. My S/O is genderfluid, or gender queer, whichever term you'd like to use to describe it. Meaning that sometimes my S/O feels more feminine, other times more masculine. Physically my S/O is female, but identifies more as male than female, so he does prefer to have male pronouns used to describe him, but he doesn't mind if you use female ones either. I myself am bi-curious, as I have found some men attractive, but I do tend to lean more to the straight side of the spectrum. My S/O is going to help me experiment with some toys the next time we see each other, so I can be positive about what my sexuality is. While I can't give a positive answer on my sexuality, I can definitely tell you one thing: I know I'm in love!

[snow_girl]

Why do you need to be positive on your sexuality? Just go with it, if you like something then like it. I don't get the point of all these labels.

[AJG96]

Why do you need to be positive on your sexuality? Just go with it, if you like something then like it. I don't get the point of all these labels.

If you don't understand the need for labels, that's completely fine, but I feel the need to be positive with my sexuality because I'm only 19, and I'd like to understand more about myself. I'm still exploring who I am.

[R&R]

This seems like the best place to talk about this. My S/O is genderfluid, or gender queer, whichever term you'd like to use to describe it. Meaning that sometimes my S/O feels more feminine, other times more masculine. Physically my S/O is female, but identifies more as male than female, so he does prefer to have male pronouns used to describe him, but he doesn't mind if you use female ones either. I myself am bi-curious, as I have found some men attractive, but I do tend to lean more to the straight side of the spectrum. My S/O is going to help me experiment with some toys the next time we see each other, so I can be positive about what my sexuality is. While I can't give a positive answer on my sexuality, I can definitely tell you one thing: I know I'm in love!

I guess I don't understand how this is going to help you establish that? Toys are used in the bedroom but people who are straight and people who are gay/lesbian. It doesn't define their sexuality - it just adds levels to the sex play.

[AJG96]

I guess I don't understand how this is going to help you establish that? Toys are used in the bedroom but people who are straight and people who are gay/lesbian. It doesn't define their sexuality - it just adds levels to the sex play.

Because I'm not sure if I'll enjoy my prostate being stimulated, but maybe that has nothing to do with whether I'm bisexual or not. It wouldn't hurt to try. I'm just confused on this whole thing now.

[R&R]

There are lesbians who use strap-ons and other things because even though they are very much sure that another woman is their love/desire, they still enjoy penetration part of sex. There are 100% straight men who enjoy prostrate penetration because there are a lot of nerves there and can provide great sensation. All of that has nothing to do with your sexuality - it has to do with what physically feels good.

[snow_girl]

Because I'm not sure if I'll enjoy my prostate being stimulated, but maybe that has nothing to do with whether I'm bisexual or not. It wouldn't hurt to try. I'm just confused on this whole thing now.

Many straight males enjoy anal stimulation

[AJG96]

Thank you, snow_girl and R&R for that information. I'm still curious, but I'm not going conclude that I'm bisexual if I enjoy it. You've given me some insight on this subject, and it's greatly appreciated.

[differentcountries]

If you feel labels are useful, you will learn to make more sense of them in time. As you say, you are still learning about yourself .You are also learning more about your partner and the way you interact.

The meaning you attatch to what happens is just as important as any action. If you find you enjoy penetration or prostate stimulation (can be done by fingers tounge too, not just toys), or him/her being the more active sexual partner, you can see that as purely pleasure, or identity, or something in between. It is all up to you.

As for us, we do consider us a straight couple but there is still something there that is a bit gender queer in our interaction. I am very happy to date a man who enjoys that.

[AJG96]

If you feel labels are useful, you will learn to make more sense of them in time. As you say, you are still learning about yourself .You are also learning more about your partner and the way you interact.

The meaning you attatch to what happens is just as important as any action. If you find you enjoy penetration or prostate stimulation (can be done by fingers tounge too, not just toys), or him/her being the more active sexual partner, you can see that as purely pleasure, or identity, or something in between. It is all up to you.

As for us, we do consider us a straight couple but there is still something there that is a bit gender queer in our interaction. I am very happy to date a man who enjoys that.

Thank you! In the end, it is my choice indeed as to what label I decide to use. I don't know yet, that'll be for the future. I'll be closing the thread, as I don't see that there's much more that needs to be said.