SO considering what to expect if he does

[Sharon Q]

So my boyfrinend and I have been together four years CD 3 LD 1.

He has mentioned in the past doing some branch of military ( US btw ) he isnt sure what to do he is really struggeling with his living situation. He mentiond possibly doing Air force or something so the military would pay for college. Now let me be very clear on this ive never wantnted a military man for fear of losing them in war.... However ive been with him too long to back out if he decides this is what he wants. So I do support his choice Hes had it rough and this may help him.

We have been planning to close the distance Soon. I told him to talk to his doctor see if school gets any better than if not we could discuss other options he has. He doesnt want to drop out of college. But he isnt sure what to do his living situation on job corps is ver abusive emotionally for him.

And job corps rules as far as crefew goes wont allow him a job with decent hours.

Now im trying to stick to the positive on this. If he joins the military, free school/ housing and money. So he will beet.

However we will be long distance. And unless we got married we wouldnt be able to live together on base. I DONT WANT AND WILL NOT rush a marriage

. I had a friend do this so she could live with her now spouce and stay with him after his Basic. And she felt she didnt get the wedding she wanted... And she Also cheated on him while he was away. ( whole other story. ) im not saying I would do the same. I would never hurt someone that way.

I just dont want to have him rush marriage hell we arent even engaged. Im leaving it to him to pop the question when he is ready.


Also ive heard of the military changing people. Like some people come back total assholes and I dont want that to happen with my SO.

I have so many worries with this but I refuse to stand in his way if he decides to do this.

Im scared ill lose the man I love either phyaically as in death or emotionally/mentally as in a personality change.... Can anyone help?

[MaggieS]

So, for one thing, I have a military man. Air force, actually. And all I'm gonna say is: It's hell if you're not an officer. It's hell if you don't go in with a degree. Any degree, just so long as it's a degree.

I do not think that it is a good idea to enlist just because you want better living conditions. Cause guess what? The military is not exactly good for your emotional state of mind. I think your boy really needs to take a look at why he wants to enlist--if it's to BE in the army, tell him to finish school first, since he already started. If it's to get out of the situation he's currently in, tell him to tough up and live through it because he's going to have to learn how to do that anyways when he joins the military.

I'll admit, I have no earthly idea what job corps is. Can he not drop it and just get a job on his own? Can he not transfer schools? Very few things, such as the military, are so binding that you cannot find a way out once in. And honestly, if you're willing to accept a less than honorable discharge, then the military....no, it's binding, shush.

But, on the off chance that you can't get through to him on this(and if he wants to talk to someone who has seen first hand what an enlisted Airman goes through with no college degree, I am here to talk! I have no problem helping you with this one.) there are some positives to the military. -sigh- On the whole living on base thing--and I admit again, I don't understand how you went from 'we'll be long distance' to 'we can't live together unless we're married.' But, you don't have to live on base. If you choose to live off base, the military gives you access to tax-free living. So not free living, but not so expensive as it could be either. So when you close the distance, that could be an option. But I for one am more for people closing the distance via separate housing for the first few months at least, and housing you can get soooo close to base. My SO doesn't live on base(although he still has terrible roommates) but he's about five or less minutes away from it. Depending on which gate you use.

OH AND ONE MORE THING for that argument about NOT JOINING. The hours suck. Suck, suck, suck, suck. If you go in without a college degree. My boy works from about 8 a.m. to...at the very least 5 p.m., but most of the time, they make him stay longer. So, yeah, you're not going to get away from that horrible awful existence of crappy hours. And it'll leave him crabby. And it'll leave you crabby because you can't really text him while he's working. Unless he takes a lot of bathroom breaks. But then people start asking questions... >>

[Sharon Q]

Job corps is free schooling because its government run. They treat everyone like shit. Hes talked about military off and on. If he drops out of job corps there goes free schooling.

Ill keep talking to him about it

[MaggieS]

Ok, I can understand that to a certain extent, but if he's doing well in school and is in a bad enough financial situation, can he not get financial aid? Or, if he's really set on this military thing, then get him to stay in college and join an ROTC, helps you out financially with school, and sets you up to be an officer when you do join.

How long does he have left in school? Unfortunately, life is about making compromises. Is it so hard for him to make a few sacrifices of personal freedom now to avoid having absolutely no personal freedom for many more years than a college degree later on?

[Sharon Q]

He has 2 years left but Idk if his finacial aid is going to go through for his next term. We talked about it more abd ye said he wanted to wait a bit. Hes looking into other options but still isnt sure what to do yet. Ive backed off and im going togve him time to decide its his choise im just going to be supportive and go to whatever city he wants to stay in for now