Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Ugh.. I don't know how to do this

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Ugh.. I don't know how to do this

    Okay so. I'm in the Coast Guard and stationed at a land unit in Florida. I've been dating my girlfriend for 9 months now. She recently joined the coast guard 3 months ago and so it's that "new military" smell that's got her enthrauled. Previous to us dating, she was in a 5 year relationship that ended badly. I've fallen head over heals for her, and she says she's in love with me as well. But, since she joined the military she's been very emotionally detached and distant. We had a big conversation about it last night and basically got this out of it. That yes she loves me and is commited to making this work. But at this time, were on 2 seperate pages. I want to marry her, she's not ready, an basically with her past and with what's going on she's focused on what she's doing and not ready for marriage or to start planning on living together...... I don't know whether to take this as a sign to leave and let her fly? Or to just hang in there and ride it out

    #2
    If she loves you there's no immediate rush to marry is there? It would be unfair to say ok we have to finish now just because she's not ready to marry you.

    "Buddha made you for me" - My SO



    1st Met/Visit: Nov 2012 - Thailand
    2nd Visit: May 2013 - Thailand
    3rd Visit: Jun 2013 - Thailand
    4th Visit: Sep 2013 - Thailand
    5th Visit: Sep 2013 - Jan 2014 - UK
    6th Visit: Apr 2014 - Thailand - Marry
    7th Visit: Sept 14th 2014 - Thailand - Wedding Ceremony / Party
    Close the distance - Sept 21st 2014 - UK
    UK Wedding Party: November 8th 2014

    Comment


      #3
      That's absolutely true. But her being right out of bootcamp and her emotional disconnect is what concerns me. Basically she told me she's ultra focused on what's going on, not ready to get married, has to do this for herself, and the relationships number 2 right now.

      Comment


        #4
        She's trying to better herself by joining the coast guard. You should be happy for her. She still loves you, she just wants to focus inn her job, I can't blame her. The relationship can't be number one ALL the time, it almost always comes second to to career and schooling. If you love her,this shouldn't change the way you feel about her. Just take it one day at a time, because one day she might be ready to marry you.
        I would ask her straightforward though if she sees you two marrying in the future, just to make sure that there's that to look forward to.
        "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

        Comment


          #5
          Thanks unconditional, I did ask her about marriage after she got out of bootcamp. She said that she defenitely see herself marrying me in the future. It's just a hard pill to swallow when your so tells you you're on 2 seperate pages and need to slow down

          Comment


            #6
            I know it's hard, but if you love her and she lives you, this will all work out in the end. Take your time though, if she sees herself marrying you she doesn't plan on leaving anytime soon. Enjoy the courtship. Everything will work out. =)
            "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

            Comment


              #7
              I'm trying lol, thank you very much. Helped a lot

              Comment


                #8
                No problem, feel free to shoot me a message anytime if you need to ^-^
                "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

                Comment

                Working...
                X