Ugh.. I don't know how to do this

[Willfigureit]

Okay so. I'm in the Coast Guard and stationed at a land unit in Florida. I've been dating my girlfriend for 9 months now. She recently joined the coast guard 3 months ago and so it's that "new military" smell that's got her enthrauled. Previous to us dating, she was in a 5 year relationship that ended badly. I've fallen head over heals for her, and she says she's in love with me as well. But, since she joined the military she's been very emotionally detached and distant. We had a big conversation about it last night and basically got this out of it. That yes she loves me and is commited to making this work. But at this time, were on 2 seperate pages. I want to marry her, she's not ready, an basically with her past and with what's going on she's focused on what she's doing and not ready for marriage or to start planning on living together...... I don't know whether to take this as a sign to leave and let her fly? Or to just hang in there and ride it out

[MattDavies86]

If she loves you there's no immediate rush to marry is there? It would be unfair to say ok we have to finish now just because she's not ready to marry you.

[Willfigureit]

That's absolutely true. But her being right out of bootcamp and her emotional disconnect is what concerns me. Basically she told me she's ultra focused on what's going on, not ready to get married, has to do this for herself, and the relationships number 2 right now.

[Unconditional]

She's trying to better herself by joining the coast guard. You should be happy for her. She still loves you, she just wants to focus inn her job, I can't blame her. The relationship can't be number one ALL the time, it almost always comes second to to career and schooling. If you love her,this shouldn't change the way you feel about her. Just take it one day at a time, because one day she might be ready to marry you.
I would ask her straightforward though if she sees you two marrying in the future, just to make sure that there's that to look forward to.

[Willfigureit]

Thanks unconditional, I did ask her about marriage after she got out of bootcamp. She said that she defenitely see herself marrying me in the future. It's just a hard pill to swallow when your so tells you you're on 2 seperate pages and need to slow down

[Unconditional]

I know it's hard, but if you love her and she lives you, this will all work out in the end. Take your time though, if she sees herself marrying you she doesn't plan on leaving anytime soon. Enjoy the courtship. Everything will work out. =)

[Willfigureit]

I'm trying lol, thank you very much. Helped a lot

[Unconditional]

No problem, feel free to shoot me a message anytime if you need to ^-^