Hello- thanks for clicking this. I could probably use your insight. So... Have a little question for you all (especially some who have been with military men for a while). My guy went to Germany in January after getting out of basic. He will be based there for 2-3 years depending if he reenlists or not. I've caught him in 3 lies this past week. My bf has not been the lying type with me. He went to the field for training for a month and got back to his base on Sunday a seemingly different person. After I caught him in the lies on 3 separate occasions (but all this week) he said he felt he was changing but he didn't know what about him was changing. He said he's been taking me for granted. He hasn't cheated. His friends are all single guys who want to party and have sex.
The big lie was that last night he told me he was going to bed. Well one of his friends posted a picture with him in the background of it and he was clearly not in bed. In Germany, prostitution is legal and one of his friends got a prostitute last night and my bf was hanging around him last night. He did admit to lying to me about where he was and we talked things out today. I want to be optimistic in thinking he meant what he said when he said he wants to put more effort into us. The guy was crying today on the phone with me. Has anyone else experienced this or something similar? How do you handle it? How do you handle the distance and maintaining the relationship? One of his friends only talks to his girlfriend on the phone once a week. I brought that up as something for us to try, but he instantly said he didn't want that and he couldn't go the week without talking to me. How do you keep the sense of "we can do this" going? After basic is over, and they go to their duty station and it really sets in that it's "permanent" that he's not coming back home- how do you handle it once that feeling truly sets in? We've talked about marriage, but there are 2 problems with that: A) Our relationship hasn't been established long enough for me to feel secure with the idea of marriage quite yet. and B) I am in college here in the U.S. Any advice to my questions or just advice in general would be awesome as I'm still new to this. Thank you so much reader!!
The big lie was that last night he told me he was going to bed. Well one of his friends posted a picture with him in the background of it and he was clearly not in bed. In Germany, prostitution is legal and one of his friends got a prostitute last night and my bf was hanging around him last night. He did admit to lying to me about where he was and we talked things out today. I want to be optimistic in thinking he meant what he said when he said he wants to put more effort into us. The guy was crying today on the phone with me. Has anyone else experienced this or something similar? How do you handle it? How do you handle the distance and maintaining the relationship? One of his friends only talks to his girlfriend on the phone once a week. I brought that up as something for us to try, but he instantly said he didn't want that and he couldn't go the week without talking to me. How do you keep the sense of "we can do this" going? After basic is over, and they go to their duty station and it really sets in that it's "permanent" that he's not coming back home- how do you handle it once that feeling truly sets in? We've talked about marriage, but there are 2 problems with that: A) Our relationship hasn't been established long enough for me to feel secure with the idea of marriage quite yet. and B) I am in college here in the U.S. Any advice to my questions or just advice in general would be awesome as I'm still new to this. Thank you so much reader!!
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