Me and my SO have been dating for almost 3 yrs. When our relationship reached 2 yrs I found out he cheated on me a couple of times. When I did find ouut I was furious and he cried his eyes out..but the next day I said we would try and work it out. It went on for a month and I didnt trust him at all and all he did was cry because I was hurt and mad. Well I later on started doing stuff behind his back and ended up cheating on him also..i broke up with him and he later on found out. I had been living with my aunt but later decided to move to tx with my parents. I then realized I still loved him soo 4 months after I had moved we got back together!! We were able to spend all summer together. But now hete we are and all I do is burn him up with questions, he is a good sport though & says he doesn't. Mind! We talk and txt all day & talk on the phone every night but I still worry about cheating...& if I accuse he cries and swears he isnt. hes the best bf im just scared to trust..we' re moving in together next may and we slways talk about the future..but why cant I trust.??
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Well, you've both done it to each other. So like, you're even. Did you work on your issues? Work out why you each cheated when you did so and resolve those problems so they are no longer there?
Cheating does not just happen. It almost always indicates an underlying problem in the relationship. 9 times out of 10 cheating is a symptom, not the problem itself. When the problem is resolved, cheating becomes a non issue.
But, if you're both not really sure you can keep it in your pants, why not look at opening up the relationship? Isn't trust more important than monogamy anyway?Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person
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Yes we worked on them but the girls he cheated on me with attend his school & that irks me :/ hes over it because he says he cant say anything since I also cheated..but to thos day I still have trust issues even though he always tells the truth & manages to prove his story..hes also stopped going places to make me feel better..& we're both to in love & jealous buts to have an open relationship lol. But am I a mean gf to still wonder the worst?Comment
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I meant he says he cant say anything about me cheating since he also did.Comment
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Thinking the worst doesn't make you mean, it just puts unnecessary pressure on the relationship that can eventually break the relationship if you don't get a grip on yourself. If you constantly accuse someone of something they are not doing... well, they may as well just go and do it... seeming they are going to suffer regardless.
Just drop it. Stop bringing it up. Stop interrogating him. Encourage him to go have a life - because his staying home for you isn't healthy. Time will heal everything else.Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in personComment
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I completely agree with everyone above. If you did it too you are *technically* even, and if he's not interrogating you about what you are doing he doesn't deserve the same in return. If you have agreed to work it out then you have to let it go, you can't keep punishing him for a mistake he's make and you've taken him back for, and vice versa. If you can't get over the past as he has, you can't move forward. He's willing to stay home and not go do things(which isn't good either), and has been telling you the truth....doesn't that say something about the person he is now?Comment
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Yeahh I agree with both of you, I guess I just needed to hear it from other people..thanks so much, I'll try to work on my problem.(:Comment
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