Well, I'll try to keep this as short as possible for you guys lol feel free to just skim through it if you want, any advice at all is appreciated!
My LDR boyfriend and I have been friends for about 4 to 5 years or so, and we decided to be more than friends about 4 months ago because we've both had strong feelings for each other for a long time. We've never met because of our ages (I'm 16, he's 19.) I have had 2 other LDR's in the past with no problems except the people themselves, but he has only had one LDR with an old friend of ours and it didn't last very long because she was extremely different from him and didn't want him to be friends with me because of jealousy.
We have always been very close friends and even though we're pretty different (a lot of things that interests me, he can't stand) it's never been a problem because we still get along very well and have a lot of fun together. But lately he seems like he doesn't love me anymore. We still have long conversations and have fun together but the last time he's said anything sweet or romantic "on his own" was the 8th when he sent me an email. Whenever I say I love him now or anything sweet he just says things like "you too" and it just seems like he's only doing it out of obligation. We used to send each other emails nearly every day and we both got so happy when we would see each other, but now I'm the only one texting or sending emails (we usually IM with our LDR friends together every night) and he barely talks to me unless I strike up the conversation first.
I'm just worried he's realized he only sees us as friends now that the lovey-dovey 3-month mark has passed, especially since he never thought over whether our relationship would work out for him or not when I asked him out, he just immediately said yes. Whereas I spent like 3 days making sure I wasn't rushing into anything and that it wouldn't screw up our friendship and things before I asked him out.
But I'm very worried. I know this sort of thing happens a lot in LDR's because it's easy for conversation to get boring and stuff, but the thing is, it isn't. It's not the conversation or anything, it's just that in the beginning he was all over me and now he doesn't even say he loves me. I've tried being patient and waiting for this phase to pass and continuing to shower him with love until he finally does so back, but it's been way too long now. I just don't know what to do because I still love him and am afraid if we're just friends it won't work out for him and I'll lose one of my closest friends.
My LDR boyfriend and I have been friends for about 4 to 5 years or so, and we decided to be more than friends about 4 months ago because we've both had strong feelings for each other for a long time. We've never met because of our ages (I'm 16, he's 19.) I have had 2 other LDR's in the past with no problems except the people themselves, but he has only had one LDR with an old friend of ours and it didn't last very long because she was extremely different from him and didn't want him to be friends with me because of jealousy.
We have always been very close friends and even though we're pretty different (a lot of things that interests me, he can't stand) it's never been a problem because we still get along very well and have a lot of fun together. But lately he seems like he doesn't love me anymore. We still have long conversations and have fun together but the last time he's said anything sweet or romantic "on his own" was the 8th when he sent me an email. Whenever I say I love him now or anything sweet he just says things like "you too" and it just seems like he's only doing it out of obligation. We used to send each other emails nearly every day and we both got so happy when we would see each other, but now I'm the only one texting or sending emails (we usually IM with our LDR friends together every night) and he barely talks to me unless I strike up the conversation first.
I'm just worried he's realized he only sees us as friends now that the lovey-dovey 3-month mark has passed, especially since he never thought over whether our relationship would work out for him or not when I asked him out, he just immediately said yes. Whereas I spent like 3 days making sure I wasn't rushing into anything and that it wouldn't screw up our friendship and things before I asked him out.
But I'm very worried. I know this sort of thing happens a lot in LDR's because it's easy for conversation to get boring and stuff, but the thing is, it isn't. It's not the conversation or anything, it's just that in the beginning he was all over me and now he doesn't even say he loves me. I've tried being patient and waiting for this phase to pass and continuing to shower him with love until he finally does so back, but it's been way too long now. I just don't know what to do because I still love him and am afraid if we're just friends it won't work out for him and I'll lose one of my closest friends.
So what I'm going to recommend is to stop trying to guess what his behaviour means by acting in certain ways to elicit certain problems and talk to him. You said you know communicating is the key to a successful LDR, so stop holding that door shut. You are causing further detriment by not communicating, so are sort of gleaning the opposite result of what you wanted (to keep the relationship safe) by doing so. I would simply talk to him about how you've been feeling. You've noticed his behaviour has changed and you want to know if everything is okay with him and with how he feels about your relationship. It needs to be talked about, because if that question "makes" him worry if he still has feelings for you, he was already worrying about it. It's better to get it out in the open than to let it blow up in both your faces later because no one wanted to discuss it honestly with each other. And sometimes it's not even as bad as we think, but the longer we sit on it without consulting our partners, the worse it becomes in our heads.
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