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Do I walk away?

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    Teens Do I walk away?

    Me and James started talking again, we decided to try and work through our issues and talk to each other about how we are feeling. James said that its not that he doesn't want to be with me, he just couldn't take me being silly anymore. I said to him that if he gives me another chance, he wont regret it. So we carry on talking, and then he says he needs time to think about things, so I say ok. He then texts me the following day, and we carry on talking again. We were then talking last time, and it seemed like we were getting somewhere, he told me he loved me and I had been dieing for him to say it. Anyway, he said he had to go and he would talk later.

    This is where it gets complicated. At the beginning of our relationship, I had some doubts as to where he lived. This was due to it saying he lived somewhere else on Facebook. He then told me it was because he moved, and then we didn't really say anything else about it. I was still thinking about it. We then both got an app called viber, so we could text and call each other for free. You could also add your location on there, it said James wasn't in Leeds. Immediately I say something to him, and we argue. He would always make me feel guilty for bringing it up. We then met in late June, and I was on his phone, and the weather thing came up and again it didn't say Leeds. I didn't really think about it until afterwards, when he made me feel guilty again.

    Last night, he said his brother had come to visit. I went on his brothers Facebook, and it said he was back at home, but not in Leeds. I knew then that James was lieing to me, and he finally admitted to me today that he has been lieing about where he lives. He lied because he didn't expect to fall for me, and once he lied he couldn't stop.

    I don't really know what to think now. Has he lied about anything else? Can I be with someone who has lied to me? I just need some advice on what you think I should do.

    #2
    Well has he been honest about where he lives? Does where he lives now match his FB account/check-in?

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      #3
      It's always really difficult to ask others if you should trust someone, since it's not us who has to decide if we trust them or not.
      You need to ask yourself if you trust him, or if you can continue to, after his lies about where he lives.
      I'm sorry if it sounds bad but who knows, he may or may not be lying about other things.

      All I can say is I hope you can figure out what you want. Stay safe, and good luck.

      Comment


        #4
        Does where he actually lives make a big difference? I understand that what you're upset about is the principle of lying, but it is not necessarily the kind of lie that is going to hurt anyone. You can do what you like about the lying-- maybe it's against your own principles and you'd rather not date someone who would lie about something like that. However, I doubt that it really makes a difference.
        Canadian permanent residence APPROVED!
        Closed the Distance: 09/26/2019
        Engaged: 09/26/2020

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          #5
          He lives where it says he does on Facebook. It doesn't make a difference as to where he lives, that's why I cant understand why he lied. I can either accept that he has lied, and move on from it. Or end things and for him to not be in my life. It does make me doubt everything, and he has had plenty of opportunities to tell me when I have questioned him about it.

          Lauren

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            #6
            Originally posted by laurenandjames9 View Post
            He lives where it says he does on Facebook. It doesn't make a difference as to where he lives, that's why I cant understand why he lied. I can either accept that he has lied, and move on from it. Or end things and for him to not be in my life. It does make me doubt everything, and he has had plenty of opportunities to tell me when I have questioned him about it.

            Lauren
            People here call me Piper. On another website, people call me Claire. Some people who I've added to Facebook know my name, but I was not always so open with it. My Facebook used to have only a few people on it, I never really used it, and one of the big things for me before adding people to Facebook used to be admitting that I'd lied about my name. I also never gave a location beyond the state of California and, prior to that, the U.S. Have you two ever met in person? Whether or not you've met in person could also be a huge part of the reason that he lied. Yes, I get that you're in a relationship, but sometimes people are still nervous about meeting those they only know online and so keep private information private. I mean there are people who still don't know my real name isn't Claire. Those are people I never got close enough to to share my real name with. That's what I'm reminded of with your SO. I didn't know when joining the site and telling people my name was Claire that I would ever become close enough with someone to tell them I was lying. *shrug* But I was young and not thinking things through all the way. It sounds like that that is what happened with your SO. I understand feeling like you've been lied to, and I understand feeling hurt, but it also sounds like a very believable reason he's giving you for the fact that he lied.

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              #7
              We have met in person, and we were going to again but then we split up and now he isn't answering my texts so I don't know what to do. I want to be with him more than anything, but if he doesn't text me, I will have to accept that it is over for good.

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                #8
                Whenever there is a big amount of bickering or problems in the beginning of a relationship, I always see that as a red flag. You are still young, you have so much time ahead of you, I think that you've tried this, and it didn't work, so it's time to move on to better things.
                started dating: 12/08/12
                "i love you": 04/12/13
                el paso: 07/24/13 - 08/05/13
                montreal: 12/13/13 - 01/03/14
                el paso: 01/05/14 - 01/19/14
                montreal: 05/30/14 - 07/27/14
                el paso: 07/27/14 - 08/18/14
                el paso: 12/27/14 - 01/16/15
                el paso: 06/02/15 - 08/17/15
                san antonio: 02/04/16 - 02/08/16
                san antonio/el paso: 06/03/16 - 06/21/16

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                  #9
                  An update on me and James.

                  We are back together, and we are meeting tomorrow. We have argued a lot recently, and we talked about our issues. We agreed to talk more about things tomorrow, because we will be face to face. I'm more nervous this time than I was the first time. I've forgotten what it feels like to be with him, it seems so long since I last saw him. I know things are going to be different this time, but I'm scared it will be awkward, or we might end up arguing.

                  Lauren

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