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    #1

    Teens Distraction techniques?

    My SO is a very busy person, which I understand. We both have cluttered schedules and the time difference makes it even more difficult. Worse, I have bad anxiety, which I'm learning to deal with, but sometimes it still flares up. Sometimes, I don't hear from him for a few days. We usually talk around 3-4 days a week. The only time I heard from him this week was Monday (it's Saturday now). Sometimes, I start worrying that he doesn't love me anymore, or that he's off with some other girl doing something or all these other things. I just assume the worst. I sometimes have trouble figuring out whether I'm being rational or not. My therapist told me not to worry as long as I have no evidence. I'm trying to do that right now, but I was wondering if there's something else I can try.

    I try using coping thoughts, which work sometimes, but I'm not quite sure what to do. I feel whiny and dumb to be talking about my problems, but I suppose the only way I can get help is to ask for it.

    So my question for you all: when you're missing your SO, what do you do to cope with it?

    Thank you for your help. It's much appreciated
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    #2
    Hi there First I wanted to start off by saying I'm very much like you in the anxiety department--and I would be worried sick if I haven't heard from my SO in a couple days. However, I don't think you have anything to worry about--just tell yourself it's your own worry making you feel like this. You shouldn't not trust him unless he's given you a reason to I'm sure the time difference makes it incredibly hard, on top of both your busy schedules. Maybe when you hear from him again you should talk to him. Tell him what you're feeling and see if there's some way ya'll can compromise and come up with a certain time/day to talk. It should help ease any worry, knowing when you'll get to talk to him next As for the distractions part, I usually plan time around friends whenever I find myself really missing him and looking for a way to get my mind off of it. School work usually keeps me busy throughout the week, and on weekends I plan things with family and friends. It helps a lot with missing him, and I'm able to not feel so down about it. I hope things work out! If you ever need to talk or just vent, feel free to PM me

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      #3
      Thank you so much! That's really great advice. Glad to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way. I'll be sure to try all the things you suggested, and I'll keep them in mind.

      Thank you again! ^_^ -Lori

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        #4
        I didn't hear a word from him today, either. I could really use some encouragement/advice right now...I'm just lost and I don't know what to do!

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          #5
          Have you tried messaging him? I get he may be busy during the day, but going all week without anything a thing to you is kind of weird. Has he done this before?

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            #6
            Hey! I sent him some pictures from my birthday party that I had yesterday, but it didn't garner a response :/ sometimes I don't hear from him from 2-4 days on end, and I'm used to that, but this is completely abnormal...

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              #7
              Hey! I sent him some pictures from my birthday party that I had yesterday, but it didn't garner a response :/ sometimes I don't hear from him from 2-4 days on end, and I'm used to that, but this is completely abnormal...
              Have you tried calling him? Maybe he will answer and see whats going on?

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                #8
                Right now, I totally get what you're going through. I get stressed when he doesn't reply to my texts on the day I send them.

                Something that really helped me calm down is I asked him to reply with a 15 second text that tells me he can't talk and when he thinks he will be able to talk. That way I get the attention that I'm wanting at that moment, get the reassurance that he's alive and well, and have an idea of when he will be available. I find that even on days when I have little to distract me, knowledge of when I will get to talk to him next calms me down.

                Until he does reply, try writing him a love letter or a poem or the story of how you guys met or started your relationship. It's a great alternative to trying to distract yourself and I find that that usually turns my anxiety about us into feeling happy and excited about us.

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                  #9
                  Hey all!

                  @parxnoia: It doesn't work that way, since he lives in another country. :/ Thanks for the suggestion, though. ^^

                  @Red: Thank you for the advice! That's a good idea. I'd like to try that out. ^_^

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                    #10
                    Since I'm a college student without a job, and my boyfriend is a high school student that works four days a week, some days I find myself very alone. I tend to just watch youtube videos, go on tumblr, whatever I can find that'll distract me for a bit. I've also gotten really fond of playing stupid little games on my phone, you'd be surprised on how fast the time can go by! Also, I go out with friends a few times a week. They are so supportive of me and I know I always have someone to talk to. Maybe that'll work for you? I've also currently been working on convincing myself that my SO isn't my whole world and I need to be independent from him, which is difficult for me, because I tend to be very dependent, while my SO is more independent. I hope you can find something to distract yourself, good luck.
                    started dating: 12/08/12
                    "i love you": 04/12/13
                    el paso: 07/24/13 - 08/05/13
                    montreal: 12/13/13 - 01/03/14
                    el paso: 01/05/14 - 01/19/14
                    montreal: 05/30/14 - 07/27/14
                    el paso: 07/27/14 - 08/18/14
                    el paso: 12/27/14 - 01/16/15
                    el paso: 06/02/15 - 08/17/15
                    san antonio: 02/04/16 - 02/08/16
                    san antonio/el paso: 06/03/16 - 06/21/16

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by alittlemind View Post
                      Since I'm a college student without a job, and my boyfriend is a high school student that works four days a week, some days I find myself very alone. I tend to just watch youtube videos, go on tumblr, whatever I can find that'll distract me for a bit. I've also gotten really fond of playing stupid little games on my phone, you'd be surprised on how fast the time can go by! Also, I go out with friends a few times a week. They are so supportive of me and I know I always have someone to talk to. Maybe that'll work for you? I've also currently been working on convincing myself that my SO isn't my whole world and I need to be independent from him, which is difficult for me, because I tend to be very dependent, while my SO is more independent. I hope you can find something to distract yourself, good luck.

                      Thank you so much! You gave very good advice. I must say that I am in the same party as you: I am a very dependent person, and it is important to realise that. I'll make sure to try everything you suggested. Thanks again! ^_^

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                        #12
                        I was gonna suggest Google voice to make international phone calls but they only let you do national calls for free . The international ones are supposedly much cheaper than regular long distance rates though. But I'm gonna assume it's still not possible D:

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                          #13
                          When Dylan isn't on I keep myself busy with reading, drawing, video games. Anything to occupy the mind. I always expect the worst too, but the worries usually cloud my mood so that when hes finally on I'm mad at him. :c I suggest just trying to find things that keep you occupied. Find a new hobby, go out and pamper yourself. Stuff like that.c:

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                            #14
                            I have the same problem. (I also have issues with anxiety.) When my boyfriend is away, I miss him like crazy. We have similar schedules and are lucky enough to only have a small time zone difference. Despite that, I think about him constantly when he's gone, and I get really worried if he isn't on at his normal times. I start thinking that something terrible happened, or that I upset him somehow. I usually distract myself with other things - I talk to someone, play a computer game, go outside, or spend time with my pets. I try to keep in mind that he has a life too, and chances are, I'm just thinking too much and worrying over nothing. It's still hard sometimes, though!

                            ---------------(♥)---------------

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