Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I don't know what I want.

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Teens I don't know what I want.

    Me and James have known each other for over a year, and have been on and off during that time. We split up in March this year and I accepted that it was over. We had been through so much and I knew it wouldn't work. A few days later, James messaged me. He said that he missed me and wanted to talk. We have spoken near enough everyday since then. We have gone back and forth on whether to get back together or not.

    James seems like he is more bothered about the relationship now, he is much more open with his feelings, and he will listen to what I have to say more.

    I am just scared that if we get back together everything will go back to how they were before. James will be defensive and will not be open with his feelings. We will argue constantly about silly things, and we will end up pushing each other away. I do doubt things a lot, and James always says that I am looking at reasons why it won't work, instead of reasons why it will.

    I love him so much and I know that for a long time I will love him, we have such a rare connection, and when we are together it's amazing. We get on so well, and each time we meet we always have an amazing time. But as we are in a LDR, seeing each is very hard. 99% of the time we cannot actually physically be together, and that's the hard part. We always argued about not being able to see each other, because we were so frustrated.

    I feel now I have to make a big decision that could change everything. If I do get back together with him, it could be great but then we could end up splitting up and never talking again. If I don't, I could lose him forever. Me and James always seem to keep running back to each other, but we can't do it forever. I feel like I love him, but I am not in love with him. I don't always think about him and I don't always want to talk to him. I don't know if thats because I haven't seem him in so long, or if my feelings are at the stage where I will always care about him/love him.

    I don't want someone to tell me what to do, because I have to make the decision. I was wondering if anyone has ever been in a similar position, or if someone can help me make sense of this.


    Lauren

    #2
    In the end, you have to determine if it will make you happy. If you think it won't, don't try. If you think it very well could, then try! In the end, you have to do what makes you happy.
    "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

    Comment


      #3
      ^I agree with unconditional. Give it some time, think things through. Weigh the pros and cons. If you feel like getting back together with him can make you happy again, go for it. If you're hesitant, it may be time to move on. The decision is yours, I can't offer any advice However, I dated a previous ex for over a year and we broke up...we eventually got back together, and the relationship failed again. From experience and from people I know, couples who tend to go back and forth with each other never ultimately work out in the end. BUT, if you feel like he has changed and you feel like the two of you can come up with constructive ways to handle your issues, then decide if you think it'll make you happy and base a decision on that. Good luck

      Comment


        #4
        Thank you to you both, I do need to really think about things. James does want to meet me, and I know meeting him will change everything.


        Lauren

        Comment


          #5
          I hate to burst this bubble, but you can never be sure that the meeting will change everything.
          The only way this relationship will work out is the fact that he has changed his ways and that he will hopefully be more open when you need him to be, and that he will listen to you because if he doesn't listen to you (and vice versa), this relationship will not work out.
          Last edited by Unconditional; May 26, 2014, 10:31 AM.
          "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

          Comment


            #6
            I met James yesterday, and honestly it has changed things. I got that feeling that's impossible to describe when I saw him. We spoke about a lot of things, and he gave me a letter. For James this is a big thing because he isn't the romantic type. After reading the letter and listening to him yesterday it proved to me even more that he has really changed. I decided that I had to go with my heart, and me and James are now back together. I know my friend doesn't really agree with it and some of you might think I am crazy, but in time I will know if I have made the right decision and I will deal with the consequences either way.

            Thank you

            Lauren

            Comment

            Working...
            X