Me and James have known each other for over a year, and have been on and off during that time. We split up in March this year and I accepted that it was over. We had been through so much and I knew it wouldn't work. A few days later, James messaged me. He said that he missed me and wanted to talk. We have spoken near enough everyday since then. We have gone back and forth on whether to get back together or not.
James seems like he is more bothered about the relationship now, he is much more open with his feelings, and he will listen to what I have to say more.
I am just scared that if we get back together everything will go back to how they were before. James will be defensive and will not be open with his feelings. We will argue constantly about silly things, and we will end up pushing each other away. I do doubt things a lot, and James always says that I am looking at reasons why it won't work, instead of reasons why it will.
I love him so much and I know that for a long time I will love him, we have such a rare connection, and when we are together it's amazing. We get on so well, and each time we meet we always have an amazing time. But as we are in a LDR, seeing each is very hard. 99% of the time we cannot actually physically be together, and that's the hard part. We always argued about not being able to see each other, because we were so frustrated.
I feel now I have to make a big decision that could change everything. If I do get back together with him, it could be great but then we could end up splitting up and never talking again. If I don't, I could lose him forever. Me and James always seem to keep running back to each other, but we can't do it forever. I feel like I love him, but I am not in love with him. I don't always think about him and I don't always want to talk to him. I don't know if thats because I haven't seem him in so long, or if my feelings are at the stage where I will always care about him/love him.
I don't want someone to tell me what to do, because I have to make the decision. I was wondering if anyone has ever been in a similar position, or if someone can help me make sense of this.
Lauren
James seems like he is more bothered about the relationship now, he is much more open with his feelings, and he will listen to what I have to say more.
I am just scared that if we get back together everything will go back to how they were before. James will be defensive and will not be open with his feelings. We will argue constantly about silly things, and we will end up pushing each other away. I do doubt things a lot, and James always says that I am looking at reasons why it won't work, instead of reasons why it will.
I love him so much and I know that for a long time I will love him, we have such a rare connection, and when we are together it's amazing. We get on so well, and each time we meet we always have an amazing time. But as we are in a LDR, seeing each is very hard. 99% of the time we cannot actually physically be together, and that's the hard part. We always argued about not being able to see each other, because we were so frustrated.
I feel now I have to make a big decision that could change everything. If I do get back together with him, it could be great but then we could end up splitting up and never talking again. If I don't, I could lose him forever. Me and James always seem to keep running back to each other, but we can't do it forever. I feel like I love him, but I am not in love with him. I don't always think about him and I don't always want to talk to him. I don't know if thats because I haven't seem him in so long, or if my feelings are at the stage where I will always care about him/love him.
I don't want someone to tell me what to do, because I have to make the decision. I was wondering if anyone has ever been in a similar position, or if someone can help me make sense of this.
Lauren
However, I dated a previous ex for over a year and we broke up...we eventually got back together, and the relationship failed again. From experience and from people I know, couples who tend to go back and forth with each other never ultimately work out in the end. BUT, if you feel like he has changed and you feel like the two of you can come up with constructive ways to handle your issues, then decide if you think it'll make you happy and base a decision on that. Good luck 
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